Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: lifewithoutanorexia@hotmail.com

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Thursday, November 17, 2016

Share your recovery successes

Good morning!! :)
  Today i woke up with only 20 minutes until i had to leave, which means that i havent had any time to blog. So i thought it was time for another Share your recovery progress post, where you can share any of your progress in recovery or share the fears you have overcome or anything else! This is supposed to motivate yourself and get you to see the positives about fighting your eating disorder, get you to feel proud over making recovery choices and also to help inspire others!! Maybe you just want to comment about positive differences you have noticed? :)


So dont be scared to comment, i got alot of feed back from the previous one i made, and was told that it was helpful and inspiring! So its been 2 weeks since i made the last recovery progress post, so i am sure that you have managed to make some progress and steps forward? :)


Image result for recovery success


24 comments:

  1. I have been feeling depressief last weeks and haven't done more than coming out of bed. I choose to do something. I am going to start sewing again.

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    1. I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling so much,but taking up a hobby again is a great idea. Something fun you can do and something that's gets you doing something!!! I hope you can enjoy the sewing and hopefully start to feel more motivated towards life again!!

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  2. Oh you gotta be kidding me i wrote this freaking long comment it was like 20 minutes worth of typing no joke.. And now it has just been erased b my computer!? Fuck...
    Well anyway i have this major thing which i am finally overcoming: My othorexic behaviours! I will share more in detail later on. But i can say i am very proud of myself because of this :)

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    1. Ohhh i hate when that happens, it's happened so many times when I write posts or reply to comments, even sometimes I write essays and it decides to just disappear. Hahah. But do let me know how it's going for you :)

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    2. I'm going to attempt again haha! Oh and that has happened so so many times to me too in the past when i wrote super big documents for school or sth. It sucks so bad.
      Anyhow: Not to blow you off immediateley but yeah, i'm no longer calling myself a vegan. Now,don't get me wrong, i still eat highly plantbased and more importantly (imo) i make really conscious and mindful choices regarding lifestyle! Such as self care (toothpaste,condtioner and shampoo, face cream etc.). However i choose to make this step in order for myself to finally be free of any set rules. First when i started being a vegan i ate so extremely strict and seriously orthorexic tbh. Then i relapsed badly and totally gave up veganism. This is more than 1,5 years ago btw. After that i started recovery for real and ate everything and anything. After a month or three i went back to veganism and gained quite a lot of weight. However i struggled a lot all during my vegan months with what was 'allowed' to eat. To the point it drove me crazy at times! I really felt as if i had to do this because of my health mainly but soon i learned so so much about the entire meat and dairy industry and of course about the huge impact most people's everyday life's are so detrimental to our environment. It is shocking! And what's even more sad is that most people, not even those who are pretty well educated over-all, are completely unaware and even ignorant. That to me is so hurtful to see. But yeah, to me, right now, veganism is SO NOT good for me. It is too hard for me to consciously decide whether a food(group) is okay to eat regarding veganism, environment (such as palm oil avoiding), health (i got more and more afraid of my organ and digestive problems that are most likely just a by-product of my ed and won't heal until i heal completely), etc. Thise just made my mind go crazy! So i basically went from anorexia restrictive ed, to exercise addiction, to orthorexia.. Not really what i'd call a nice relationship with food and/or body. Let alone i felt happy! So now i feel like this is a big jump into the deep dark water but also as if i can finally spread my wings and fly around freely. Not giving a care in the world.
      Of course i give a care btw haha ;) I am super aware of allthe consequences meat and dairy have, fairtrade products like chocolate i buy as much as possible, i avoid wool and leather when possible, don't buy at shops like zara or h&m (well sometimes but like once every two years or so), buy a lot second hand, am aware of switching the lights off when possible and so on. I am not telling all this in order to defensive myself for my current choices it's just that i want to bring nuance into my words. (continue next comment it's too long to post)

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    3. I mean in the end i am not put on this earth to be the most perfect and ethical human being possible. I also believe that people should care way more than they often do. But in the end, what i believe most in, is that it is important to be content within myself and my body. To be genuinely happy and healthy once and for all. I have been underweight and malnourished from age 13 on. I am now almost 21 years old. It's about time i become the young woman i am meant to be. In stead of the sick or half sick girl mentally and physically i now have been for so long (as you know i have very shit consequences already to deal with). As i said, a very long explanation, hahah. I would like totell you the details about my story but i don't think it's appropriate on your blog as it might be triggering and i don't want that!!
      Btw i think it's awesome that you've recovered in a healthy way and have been able to make the choice to go vegan now without feeling as if you're depriving your body and/or your mnd. I highly support veganism, of course :D But for example yesterday i bought myself ben & jerry's cie cream because it was on discount and i had been craving it for so long already. Sice i hadn't had it for about a year there were new flavours available also. I must admit i struggled while eating the first few bites. Not because of fat, Sugar, or caloric content or sth. But genuinely because i know about the dairy industry. But you know what? I was able to put those thoughts aside. Because i also know i am doing so much to not support that industry like buying almost everything as an alternative from animal products (soy cream, plant milk, meat substitutes). but at the same time i feel like it does not make me a bad person for enjoying some ice cream. And i know that if i am not following mycravings atm it'll end in what happened the past months i.e. binging on foods that i deemed as save or good. I told you about the binges a while ago, remember? And then i also said i want sure if they were binges. Well yes i guess in a way they were. But also not. My body was clearly needing more variety in nutrients. I am not saying this is impossible on a vgean diet. It's just that it makes me have very orthorexic and restrictive behaviours and that leads to feeling sit. I feel so happy now about this choice really!

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    4. Dont ever feel guilty about going back to a mixed , it is nothing you need to feel ashamed about or have to explain to others. Your health comes first ALWAYS. That is what i always preach on my blog and sure, i believe in veganism and would love for everyone to be vegan but i know that that isnt the case. But also that a plant based diet CAN be restrictive for some if they have the wrong mindset, hence why i dont recommend going vegan in recovery, but instead eating more plant based and focusing on the other things they can do to help the climate and animals!! I am so proud of you for realising what your body and mind needed right now. To let go of rules and restrictions - maybe you werent getting the right energy or nutrients on a plant based diet which lead to cravings? Or just the fact that you had foods you "couldnt" eat and so that lead to cravings of those foods.

      Its important to put your health first and to realise that your mindset wasnt so healthy and you are now making changes! Focus on what is best for you and find your health and balance again!!! :) I am so happy you could share this and that you could be honest to yourself and know you needed to make changes! And like i always write, eating a few plant based meals a week still make a huge difference, and if you want to eat a ben and jerrys now and again and that is what is healthy for you then go for it :)

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    5. Thank you so much for your incredible kind and caring response! I feel exactly the same now: don' t go vegan in recovery. I thought that was possible in my case to do but it turned out it wasn't a smart choice. And now I do feel pretty empowered that I was able to finally chose my own health above the morals I believe in (and the facts of course). And you have been a very big example for me in this Izzy! Because indeed, like you say, you really radiate that it's the most important thing in life basically to first strive for your own health both physically and mentally. So that's what i'm trying to do.
      And indeed, making as much plantbased choices as possible is already so very helpful. Luckily I grew up with eating lots of whole foods and just veg, fruit, tofu, lentils, beanstew without meat etc. where all thingsi didn't even know where not usual foods for many. Hahah. When I was a child and we had other kids over at our home they never knew what food they got served and didn't want to eat it. Which made me and my brothers be like' whut?' for example if we had Tempeh. I only discovered way later during my high school years that I had basically grown up eating mostly vegan and vegetarian. Which is so helpful actually as that is what I tend to choose automatically.
      But also we got treats like a milkshake now and again. Or a shrimp cocktail on special occasions like Christmas or a birthday. And when my dad got to live with us (complicated story) than we ate meat more often as he is a big meat eater (unfortunately :( ).
      The reason those binges happened was because I wanted to eat little fat and then only whole foods. As well as trying to get fermented food etc. etc. Just really orthorexic in the end basically. Which lead to a cycle of feeling really bad physically too. Got so much stomach aches and constipation. Which is somewhat ironic considering I first started a vegan diet because of malfunctioning body. But of course I should have acknowledged back than that it was because of my shitty diet. First way too little and later only junkfood (when I wanted to recover and craved junk food all the time which ended in eating that too much and it made me sick of course because I didn't eat any healthy food apart from a healthy dinner that mom cooked :p . Sorry I am rambling on again!

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  3. My mom brought me a slice of vegan chocolate chip banana bread as a treat last night, and ate it without any guilt :) she also brought me some other treats (PB cookie and vegan whoopee pie) which I'm looking forward to challenging myself with!

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    1. Omg I'm so jealous of that banana bread and vegan whoopee pie!!! I really hope you enjoy those to 100% and remember that they are fuel for your body :) your body will thank you for the nourishment!!

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  4. I've decided to increase my intake without someone saying I had to because I wasn't gaining anymore at the amount I was eating. ☺️ Proud of myself because the people at school that are around me are making it difficult. I know I can get through it though

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    1. That is so awesome and great that you are doing what is best for you!!! Don't let those around you stop you from doing the right thing and what is best for you!! Stay strong and focus on health and recovery!!! Food is fuel :)

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  5. My life has been really hectic lately due to some professional opportunities that came my way. My schedule went haywire in the blink of an eye and it resulted in me having to sacrifice a lot of things I rely on to keep myself healthy and spiritually sound. My brain started tripping into the future instead of being present in the day. And of course, I felt overwhelmed from it all and full of doubts. My progress thing is that i recognized this happening, and immediately reached out to some people for support. I did not let it sweep me away, and i did not try to manage by myself. I now feel busy and crunched, but capable and secure. I am back to living in today. These are the kinds of life and recovery skills that keep me healthy today. After the struggle with food and weight and all that, comes the struggle with learning how to live a better way so that I am not susceptible to relapse or cycling addictions. I'm proud to have really created a support network and that I'm no longer trying to live by my own will alone.

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    1. That is so awesome that you could recognize that you were struggling and needed extra support! That is such a valuable thing to learn and be able to do!!

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    1. I am SO proud of you!!!! I hope that you can soon say 365 days self harm free and one day say 5 years self harm free!! Amazing and so wekl done :)

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  7. Weight restored and a healthy mindset for 2 months. Still room for improvement but life feels like an adventure again :)

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    1. Ohhh that is so awesome :) And to feel that you have a healthy mindest is the most important :) Keep working on those improvements and making the best of your life!!

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  8. Restoring my weight very slowly, but making progress. Each day feels like a new battle, but gradually I am winning the war! Your writing inspires me so much. x

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    1. You should be so proud of the progress you are making, that each day you are taking steps towards recovery and freedom (hopefully!). See all the successes as positive and ones that are helping you :) And remember that the weight gain is a positive thing - find the good things about weight gain and why you need to do it!! :)

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  9. My success is having recently faced a huge fear food: macaroni and cheese! It was so delicious and I was really proud afterward!

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    1. Yummmm!! I am so proud of you :) I hope you enjoyed the mac and cheese and that next time you eat it you can enjoy it again!!! Keep facing those fear foods and realising how much delicious food there is out there to be tested and eaten - without guilt!!

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  10. Last week I faced a fear food and it wasn't even that bad :D today I ate a lot, and I feel really uncomfortable, so I guess it was a good decision! (it was not bingeing, I just ate a little bit bigger amounts, but it makes me anxious af)

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    1. I am so proud of you for facing your fear food, but also realising that the fact that you ate more might mean that your body needs it!!! I know its scary at first but it gets easier the more you trust and listen to your body :) Keep making progress and balance will be easier!!!

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