Life without Anorexia
My motto is 'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'
My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.
I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.
I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!
If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: firstname.lastname@example.org
Friday, November 18, 2016
Self analysis: Scared of messing up, scared of critique and wanting to make everyone happy
I see myself as "careless", like i dont have so many preferances. Series X or series Y, film X or film Y, indian food or chinese food or tapas... it doesnt really matter to me hence why i wont make a decision but just say "whatever". I want to make everyone happy and dont want to make the wrong decision.
This is actually something i have struggled alot with my whole life is being worried about making a wrong decision... doing something wrong and getting told off. The fear has stopped me so many times in life because i havent wanted to be critiqued or gotten told off. I have been extremely scared of people, especially teachers and even my parents at times (though they are amazing people!), because i have felt so insecure and havent wanted to do wrong. Hence why i suffer with low self esteem and perfectionism, because i so badly want to do everything right and to never make a mistake.
Of course i am learning now in life that its ok to make mistakes, and i cant make everyone happy. Its not easy and i still fall back into the perfectionism and cant make decisions for others or make choices when i am with otherpeople, as well as having a huge fear of messing up. But i am learning!!!
I thought i would write about this because others might relate? That fear of messing up, or wanting to make everyone happy.... but in a way it controls you and controls the decisions you make and not always in a positive way. I have gone out of my way to make others happy while taking away my own happiness in the process. Ive put my health at stake because ive been scared of doing wrong or scared of being told off or critiqued. In the past it controlled my life more - those fearsand insecurities. But as i grow older and mentally stronger as well as self analyzing myself i realise that those things need to change. That i need to be strong enough to make decisions and confident enough and not be scared of messing up!! One day i might be fully free from those things, but for now they are still part of my life and my minset and do control me in someways. But the fact that i am aware of them, it is one step closer to making a change and improving!!!
Can you relate to the photoset or anything that i wrote in this post?