Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Wednesday, November 16, 2016

Question about sugar and sugar consumption

Hey Izzy!
This comment doesn't really fit to the post, but kind of, as it also leads to my depression and anxiety.
I am scared of sugar and avoid eating anything which contains it. I'm also not very "excited" about natural sweeteners like honey, agave sirup and so on, but my main problem is the "real" sugar, which is part of the usual sweets. I know, I know, there is not such a thing as good or bad food and in the end it's all just energy for my body. But I've got that feeling/fear, that my body gets kind of angry (haha), unhealthy and poisoned, when I eat just a little amount of sugar. I really prefer eating whole and clean foods, even if I know that it's not good to get obsessed about eating completely healthy. For the body maybe it would be if I get enough nutrients and so on, but for the mind.. well, certainly not. I think what I really need is a valid and scientific explanation why it is NOT bad, unhealthy, poisonous, ... for my body to eat sugar (and in general "unclean" food), because mostly we get explained in a detailed way why it is! Can you try to give such an explanation or a comment about it? Your opinion always really matters to me, as you have got a whole lot of experience and knowledge (due to your studies) as well! (-:

I was going to write a long and detailed answer with regards to nutrition and the break down of food and macronutrients but i felt like it just got too long and complicated hahaha, so instead ill link to some posts ive written about the topic of sugar. The fact is that sugar in moderation isnt bad... i know there is so much talk about how bad sugar is and thats because too much sugar isnt good, just like too much alcohol isnt good or too much fiber isnt good, even too much water isnt good. Its all about balance. You have to remember that sugar from a chocolate bar or sugar from fruit or from milk or from bead is pretty much the same thing, its just that fruit and milk would have more nutrients than a chocolate bar, but in the end its basically the same thing. I.e if you eat some chocolate with a multivitamin basically the same thing as a banana (this is a very simplified description, haha). Yyou dont need to be scared of sugar or carbohydrates, your body needs it. Even on days you do nothing its ok to eat chocolate, the problem is when its too much... and that would mean eating more than 10% of your total calories for the day from sugar. If you eat a balance and whole some diet then you dont need to worry about overconsuming sugar.

And that "icky" feeling you get is 1) mental but also 2) if you arent used to eating sugar you will feel the effects more strongly compared to someone who eats alot of sugar daily. 

I wont exactly "recommend" eating sugar, but if sugar is something that scares you and is a fear food and is part of your eating disorder then i would recommend facing the fears. Realising that if you do want some chocolate or do want some ice cream you can eat it and not worry. Food isnt something you should be scared of, the important thing is to just find a balance and not find that food controls you.  So my best suggestion/advice is to face the fear of sugar, that doesnt mean you have to begin eating lots of food with sugar... but to realise that the fear of sugar shouldnt hold you back. If the thought of eating somehting with sugar gives you anxiety or you rather not eat than to eat something with sugar then you definitely need to do something about it.

In the past my mindset was that i would rather not eat than have to eat something containing sugar, and i remember back in 2011/2012 when i was in England and Ireland with my family and there was alot of different foods i wasnt used to and foods i was scared of. And during those trips i went hungry alot of the time because i thought i would rather go 6 hours with food than to have to eat the white bread that my dad had at home, or that i would rather skip breakfast than to eat the cereal that was available. Now of course my mindset is completely different and even if i wouldnt go and buy frosted flakes myself, if that was the only food available and it was vegan i would eat it because i would rather eat sugar and give my body fuel than to not eat at all.

Everything in moderation!!

Below are some posts i have made about the topic of sugar that might be helpful. However i find it very hard to write about sugar on here without being triggering. Because there is the nutritional aspect of things such as a banana is nutritionally better than chocolate, but sometimes all you need is the chocolate and if you are too obsessed with always eating for "health" or for "best nutrition" then it might take the balance from food and even the enjoyment from food. Basically... moderation and no fears or anxiety around food!!!!

IFor example, me as a vegan.... I choose to not eat meat but if i were to accidently eat something with meat or dairy i wouldnt let myself feel guilty, because food and guilt DONT go together. (even if i dont personally consider meat as food anymore.)

I think it is hard to write about sugar because half the population arent aware about their sugar consumption at all and dont care about their sugar consumption either, and its those who face the problems due to too much sugar, and then there is the other part of the population who are hyper aware of sugar and avoid it like it is the devil. And its those who get even more scared with all the headlines about how sugar is the worst thing out there. But also that people believe very different, some people truly believe that no sugar is the best way to live life and others (such as myself) believe that in moderation its ok.

Also the whole "sugar addiction" problem. I used to believe in sugar addiction but i dont anymore.... people arent addicted to sugar, because its not like you would go and eat sugar by the spoonful from a sugar pack. Its the food or the feeling that goes along with certain food that people are addicted to, its the combination of sugar and fat that people like because it gives them "happy feelings". Of course this is a whole new post idea and not something i really feel like going into on my blog as i dont think it is necessary and could just be triggering.

Lets just all realise that everything in moderation is ok, hahaha?!



  1. I also fear sugar, but have been trying to challenge myself to get back consuming it slowly. Before, I used to drink black coffee without sugar (even though I hate bitter drinks!!). The fear of sugar was taking over me and I couldn't eat or drink or think of anything without considering sugar anymore, but when it began bothering me so much that it made me hate myself specifically because sugar was a "sensitive subject", I decided to challenge myself. I started adding a teaspoon of sugar to my coffee, then after a few weeks adding one teaspoon, I added another teaspoon, and so on... I still avoid adding sugar to juice etc, but it's getting better!

    1. I'm so glad that you are facing your fear :) it's important to not let food give you guilt or to let food anxiety control you. And facing that fear is the only way to over come it!!!


    Hi! I actually have a relatabled question. I ended up eating a whole pack of b&j the other day which I know is not balanced at all... I'm normal weight now and have had a stabled weight for 6 months but having hard time with normal amount of sweets. But I keep practising... The thing is I was resting the whole day and still was eating like normal the whole day, besides the ben and jerry. So my calorieintake this day was very much over my need I'm sure. I'm very very afraid I have gained from this day and don't know how to handle it. If I should eat less the next upcoming days or workout more or just try to be cool. How much is it possible gaining from one day?

    Thank you and take care...<3

    1. Don't worry you won't gain weight and even if you do, it's not the end of the world. Don't eat less or exercise more to compensate,that will lead to negative mindset and relationship to food. Your body will naturally try to balance it out; for example you might feel you have more energy and just naturally do more. Try not to panic about weight gain, as long as you don't eat a whole Ben and Jerry's everyday it's no problem :) I used to eat a whole Ben and nehrrys even on days I did nothing but lie in bed! It's ok:) food is fuel!!