Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: lifewithoutanorexia@hotmail.com

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Monday, November 14, 2016

Knowing you made the right choice in life

When it comes to making life changes it is definitely scary and alot of uncertaintity and fear involved. There is so much unknown and so much you can't control when making huge changes in life, all you can do  is hope for the best and make changes and choices that will hopefully lead to positive results.

Me making the choice to move to Gothenburg and start studying was a huge life changer. It involved alot of fear and worry, how would things work out? My family was worried because i had only just opened up about my depression and my mum thought i should take a year to just be at home, maybe work and do some part time studies and to fully recover from my depression. But i knew what i wanted and that was to move and to study and to just create a new life. I had broken up with my boyfriend, i wasnt feeling super excited about living at home again and most of all i wanted to get my education over with so that i can finally work with what i love and that is nutrition and helping people. So despite all the fear and anxiety i packed up and moved.

Now, 3 months later i know that i made the right decision. Life isnt perfect and there are ups and downs in life, but i feel like life is pretty great at the moment. I am MAKING life great. I feel happy and positive the majority of the time, i love what i am studying despite all the work and hours spent studying. I love Gothenburg city, even if it is a small town and there are many parts of Gothenburg i havent been to and certain areas i have visited and havent exactly loved (i.e the outskirts of Gothenburg where i have been to look at some rooms and apartments). And sure there are times i get irritated over the people in the city such as all the crowds in town during the mornings and afternoons, but thats how it is in all cities i guess.

But today i just got this feeling when i was walking around town and just felt like i was in a good place, like my life is heading in the right direction even if the past week(s) have included so much anxiety and stress. I felt happy with my life choices so far and that i decided to go against my fears and that i have coped so well and gotten through all the ups and downs. I dont miss Stockholm, i just miss my family and my dog at times, but otherwise i 98% love my life in Gothenburg and love my studies and also that i have friends here. I might not be doing alot with my life, i.e it is basically school, working out, making food/baking or studying with friends or going for a drink with friends. But i am hoping that over the months and years that my friendship bonds get stronger and that we can do more than just study.

Ive always said that you need to give things time to develop and to know whether the change you made/choice you made was the right one or not. Things dont automatically get better, it usually takes time. And i know now that i have made the right decision and that i am in a good place mentally and physically. When i previously studied at University in spring i loved living on my own but i think i loved living on my own because of my depression and because i could isolate myself. I didnt have friends, i didnt love the university i was at (thogh i loved what i was studying!), but i just wasnt in a great place, i felt lost and isolated myself. But this time it is so different, i am not running from myself or running from problems, instead i am creating happiness and making choices that are positive and feel like the changes i have made are positive ones!!


Its scary to make changes, but give it time and see whether they are the right choices or not! Sometimes you make choices and the results arent the ones you wanted or expected or maybe you dont feel like they are the right choices anymore, that is ok. Give things time to grow and develop!!

All i wanted to say i guess is that i feel happy at the moment. I feel like i am in a good place mentally and like life is good despite all the ups and downs, hahah!!!

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2 comments:

  1. Hey Izzy,

    I haven't read your blog for quite a few konths as life was so hectic and today I decided to visit again. I'm happy to read you are doingbwell and you are over the worst of hour depression. I have a few general questions for you though.

    How long did it take in total for yoir depression to go away and did you seek any professional help or take any medication?

    What would you recommend if someone suffers from severe depression for about a year before symptoms go away and then a few months/years later they relapse? The reasonI ask is because I have been in that space a long time and recently relapsed again. I have been isolating myself too and have been so unhappy with my studies. I've had so many crying spells where my heaft hurts so much I just want life to end. I know your mindset to make life positive is important but what if even if you use all your energy to make it positive, force yourself to go out and meet people etc. you still feel like you're dying inside? Because overcoming severe depression I think isn't just about being positive unfortuantely and it's hard to cope at such times.

    What exactly are you studying and what kinds of courses are you taking? Also, how many years are your studies? Just for interest sake... haha :)

    Why did you decide to go vegan and have you lost any weight from makinb such a big change?

    Have a good week!

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  2. Its wonderful to read that you are so happy and content Izzy, and now feel that you are in a "good place" mentally and physically. It just shows what the will to succeed can do and I wish you well that you continue to feel this way :) You should be so proud that you have overcome many a hurdle to be in this position and as well as being an inspiration to me I `m sure you are to many :)

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