1) Hunger can cause feeling low and sad, right. That's biochemicaly correct
2) One can feel hungry without actually needing more food/energy (ie emotional hunger or lack of sleep)
3) One can feel full even WHEN actually needing more food/energy (ie, having eaten too volumous foods without adequate energy)
4) One can sometimes have energy when hungry AND sometimes not have energy when full
5) One can have little energy without it having to do with lack of food.
Combine all these "theories" and you have my messed up mind regarding hunger. When in school I always feel like "I have energy, I can't be hungry, I don't wanna eat because wouldn't it be considered emotional eating to eat if not physically hungry?". And when my stomach is empty: "Why is my stomach growling, I have enough energy, I don't feel like eating even". This leads to me having a panick attack and suicide impulses because of what I think is actual hunger (or lack of food). However, if I'm bored at home I am the other way around. Using all these "excuses" or explainations to eat. Like, "my stomach is growling, so i can eat now" and eat even if I am not physically hungry or even actually want food.
My whole day revolves around this thinking where nothing ever feels "just right" in terms of either energy, hunger/fullness, apetite/loss of apetite, etc etc. Like, all these rules about hunger and energy don't add up in "real life". It is like I am looking for a "one size fits all"-solution.
And the emotional part about hunger causing feeling low makes it hard for me to know weather I eat to soothe my emotions or because of hunger.
I am always expecting something to "happen" when I eat or don't eat, that "just right"-feeling :(
This thinking is a major stressor for me, as I always fear the panick attacks that can come because of hunger - AND for no reason at all. The sheer feeling of hunger is something I have to go through every day like normal people. But it upsets me that it is something I cannot control and predict and reason with.
I have also lost weight due to this, which makes me underweight, and I know that would worsen the thought chaos. However, when I was above "normal weight" I stil had these obsessive thoughs.
Don't know why I'm sharing this... Just wanted some relief I guess