Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Friday, November 11, 2016

Healthiest lowest bmi

Something I began thinking about a few days ago was how during summer when I had lost weight and went to see a dietician she told me that even if I jade lost weight I was at the healthiest lowest bmi and so didn't actually need to regain the weight.

At the time I didn't think about what she said, I wanted to regain weight not because I had to but because I knew I felt best while at my normal weight and higher bmi. I told her this and she said that was a good thing but that I didn't need to force myself to gain weight if I didn't want to.

In hindsight I think this is so strange to say.... especially considering that she knew about my past with eating disorders as well as when you have cf it's not good to have a low weight because if you end up with an infection it will be even harder for the body to fight it off as well that if I were to a little more weight it would put me at an underweight.

Her advice was basically, don't lose anymore weight and that I could take supplement drinks to help maintain my weight if necessary. I did however manage to regain weight and felt much better, I had never had the goal or intention to lose weight so that wasn't something I wanted to maintain.

This got me thinking about when I was at mando and I was given my healthy set point which was basically the lowest healthy bmi i.e 18,5. I understand that the dieticians want to make it easy for the patient and it's easier to tell them that you just need to gain 5kg instead of 9kg, or 13kg instead of 17kg or that they need to maintain weight and not lose weight. But focusing on just bmi isn't so great. BMI is so outdated, but also you can't just decide a number and decide that that is where your body will be healthy because that might not be the case at all. Of course bmi can be helpful when it comes to extremes such as if you have a bmi of 17 or less, it does mean you are underweight and the body most likely isn't at optimal health, just like when it comes to obesity as well.

It's important in recovery to not let numbers control you. You might be given a goal weight but realise that weight will fluctuate and that your body might settle at a higher or even lower weight than what the goal is. But also to remmeber that if you have had/have an eating disorder it's best to not be at a weight that is  the lowest healthy weight because a lower weight can lead to relapse easier.  I.e just losing a few kilo can trigger some to want to lose more weight, but also that if you were to lose weight unintentionally it would put you at an underweight rather quickly.  Not to forget that after an eating disorder your body has been very stressed and by having a higher healthier weight can make your body feel safer quicker!!!

I guess what I wanted to write was to not focus so much on numbers but also to not be scared of gaining weight even if you don't "need to" according to the bmi scale. You never know which weight your body will settle at!!!


  1. Yes!!! I just saw a new dietician for the the first time this past Thursday, and she barely focused on numbers. She actually didn't even weigh me at the appointment haha. But anyways, she talked about finding my "set point" and the weight where my body was happy and I could get my period back again. She talked a little about calories, but for the most part we talked about balanced meal plans with emphasis on carbs, and cutting back a little on fruits and veggies. My mini goal for the next 2 weeks are to eat 3 meals and 3 snacks everyday and at least 1 treat per week.
    I have a bit of weight to gain, but we're focusing on small attainable goals, not the ultimate end point which is so helpful.

    1. Your dietician sounds like a great dietician! Less focus on numbers and more focus on balance - because that is the goal afterall. No point focusing on a set number of calories or a set goal weight, instead trying to find balance and facing fear foods and just eating in a more balanced way!! And focusing more on other carb sources instead of fruits and veggies sounds like a great idea :) Lots of oatmeal, potatoes, bread, pasta etc :) Good luck with your goals keep focusing on fighting your eating disorder and the negative thoughts that may control you. You are stronger than your eating disorder!! Focus on all the delicious food you can eat and should want to eat as well!!

  2. This is what happened with me too. When I was seeing the dietician she gave me what I thought was a very low goal weight, quite a bit less than I ever had weighed when I was healthy and normal, and it was lower than the weight I was when I lost my periods, so I just knew that it wasn't right for me.
    Its an individual thing and I think you know when you arrive at a weight that you feel comfortable with. And your right, BMI isn't everything, theres other factors to consider as well.