Dealing with destructive behaviours and urges

When it comes to destructive urges and behaviours such as self harm, binging, over exercising, there is often an anxiety provoked urge that makes you do them. You feel like you "Have to" or the anxiety and guilt will take over, but the truth is it wont. Sure, sitting with a bunch of anxiety and guilt isn't fun, but it is alot less detrimental than resorting to those negative behaviours and in the long run it gets easier as you stand against those urges. The anxiety wont kill you - the best thing is to just deal with the anxiety and guilt you feel, but also to try to get to the root of the problem as to why you need to resort to those negative behaviours to cope. But also to remember that over time you need to resort to more extreme or drastic behaviours to minimize the guilt and anxiety that you feel, the behaviours will just get worse and worse to try to lessen the guilt. I.e they arent useful or ways to cope with your feelings.

My best tip when it comes to destructive behaviours and urges is distractions and patience. The urges and the guilt will pass. It might take 20 minutes it might take 2 hours, it might take 24 hours, but eventually it will pass. And if you can distract yourself long enough then the urges will be gone and next time it will be easier to stand against those urges again so that eventually one day you wont ever feel like you have to resort to self harm or binges or compulsive exercise to cope with emotions.

Distract yourself by calling a friend or family member, or going to meet someone or just sitting and talking or being around others.

Trying to go to sleep or take a nap.

Take a shower or a long bath - as long as that doesnt lead to more anxiety or guilt.

Clean (as long as this isnt an obsessive or compulsive habit you have.)

Write or draw. Or things such as sewing, playing music, making jewellery or other things that you can do with your hands that make it easier to distract yourself. Making collage boards or vision boards is a good idea.

Colouring - get an adult colouring book and you can easily spend an hour or so just colouring and it is very peaceful!

If you dont struggle with exercise addiction then going for a walk can be a great distraction - just so that you get out of the house.

If you dont struggle with binges then baking or making food can be a great way to distract yourself as it gets you doing something with your hands and focused on other things in your life. Though make things that dont have alot of waiting time i.e dont make bread where you have to wait for the dough to rise 40 minutes.

Rearrange your room or sort through clothes or other items you have at home.

Go to your favourite store or go to a library or a film store or go and explore a new area!

Or just put on your favourite podcast or music and at the same time try to do something else such as drawing, writing, suduko, word searches, maybe a mobil app game or a computer game?



The urges will pass, you just need to wait them out and know that the guilt will pass and so will the anxiety. It is tough but it will get easier. And in the midst of things try to remember what your goal is.... if your goal is health and happiness then you cant keep resorting to negative coping mechanisms that hold you back. Instead you need to find better coping mechanisms, find ones that are positive and actually work.

You can get through your struggles, but dont forget to try to find the actual problem as well. To deal with your emotions and to not run from them!

Try to not act impulsivly and on strong emotions, trust me it wont lead to anything good. The best is to deal with the emotions and not make decisions or promises or take extreme actions when you are dealing with strong or extreme emotions.