Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


Sunday, October 9, 2016

Things i am looking forward to....


Yesterday evening was the first time since i moved that i had actual home longing and missed my parents and our apartment in Sockholm. It wasnt just out of the blue though, it was because my sister sent me a snapchat of them having dinner and it just made me long back home. The snapchat of course wasnt meant to make me feel sad... but i did miss dinners with my family and to just sit and watch a movie with them and not to mention i miss my dog like crazy. This morning the home longing is gone, the positive thing is that i enjoy my life as it is now so i dont struggle with missing home or wanting to go back to the past. If i didnt like like the situation i am in now, i think it would be alot harder.

At times i do get feelings of wanting to go back to the past... to some happier place, but i dont even know when that is. Because either i was sick and in hospital with my CF, or i was sick and in hospital with my eating disorder or i was struggling with depression.... so it feels like all the small happy moments my whole life, there have still been bigger problems. But like the quote goes, happiness isnt a destination but a journey! I think at times i just miss being a child, running out in the field with my sister and our dogs, having no care in the world or not being burdened down by problems or adulthood. I was always a very happy child, positive and laughing but also very quiet and a "good" child. Despite all the hospital visits, despite all the months spent in hospitals and despite all the needles and IV's and doctors and pills and medication, i had a nice childhood, and i can miss that!

But moving on, i wasnt meant to get so sentimental and nostalgic! I thought i would write about some of my goals for the future and things i am looking forward to happening/me creating!!

1) My birthday in a months time.... of course as usual i have a test the day after my birthday (i almost always have a test before or after my birthday!). But the weekend after my birthday my mum is coming to Gothenburg so we will have a nice weekend together!

2) Looking forward to Christmas. I still need to book my tickets to Stockholm, but i am looking forward to having some at home time with my family and being back in Stockholm.

3) Looking forward to summer... hahaha, basically 8-10 months to go, but longing for sunshine and warmth.

4) I am longing to find my own apartment somewhere in Gothenburg - somewhere i know i can live for several years and call it my own place. Just be able to live on my own for a while.

5) Longing to adopt a dog in gothenburg. I am actually allowed to bring Daisy to gothenburg and live in the apartment i am in now, however i know that wouldnt be fair for Daisy. She is my dog, but she is also a dog that needs alot of company and it wouldnt be fair to take her from the house back at home. Also if/when i move again its not sure i can have pets, so for now i just need to be happy with staring at other peoples dogs. But once i have somewhere i can settle then i want to start looking into adopting a dog.

6) Looking forward to travelling somewhere. I didnt travel this year because i worked, but next year i hope to have atleast a week or so where i can travel... either on my own or with friends or with my family. But i want to both work in summer and get away and just experience the world. Who knows, maybe i'll travel to Berlin and just meet a bunch of you readers there who have contacted me :)

There many different things i am looking forward to/want to happen.... for example having better friendships in Gothenburg, maybe finding a person i really like/dating when the time is right, having time to work, being able to help more people online and in real life, learning more as my program and course progresses.

I am in charge of my life and my happiness and that is why i love having goals... because even if i life doesnt always turn out the way i thought or had planned, i know that i can still make choices and change things in my life and reach my goals in otherways than planned!!!

Having goals and things to look forward to makes me more excited about the future and motivated to keep going.

Do you have anything you are looking forward to in the future... near or far? :)


  1. Hey Izzy! I sent you an e-mail two months ago but I haven't got your response yet. Did you receive my message? :)

  2. Hi, Izzy. I have a friend who is struggling with anorexia like I once did and I want to be able to give her advice, but the thing she is going through is something I've never had to deal with because I lived with my parents. She is having trouble because she doesn't have much money to afford food again this week because her anorexia takes over and she throws it all out. This might be the third or fourth time this week. Is there anything I can do for her?

  3. Hi Izzy!
    I'm looking forward to finishing my first round of midterms this week. I wrote 2 last week, and I'm really nervous waiting for my marks.
    Next weekend I have my first dance competition of the season, so that'll be exciting :) I found a really great place to practice at my university residence. And in 2 weeks, my high school is having it's annual awards night. So I'm really excited for that!!
    I'm looking forward to drinking tea in the mornings before class.
    And I'm looking forward to Christmas so I can successfully say I completed my first university term!

  4. Are you able to volunteer at a pet shelter/pet adoption place there? That way you can be around dogs without worrying about moving around. And I know you care a lot about the safety of animals so it sounds pretty perfect for you. Could be something to look into.

  5. I used to volunteer at a sancturary for cats and dogs- used to do the dog walking! It was great fun as you got to have contact with the animals and really got to know them, and of course it was great (and also a bit sad) when they finally found a home and was adopted - happy endings! Maybe you could do this if you get the time/opportunity?
    My biggest goal to look forward to is a mini break to the coast in about four weeks! we didn't manage to get away at all this summer either so although it is happening at the latter part of the year I am really looking forward to it! Last year and the year before we planned and booked to go away but had to cancel each time because I was unwell - so hopefully this time I`ll actually manage to go! A break will be so nice :)
    Also to start my home study course - super excited and motivated for this as I`ve wanted to do it for a long time. Just waiting for my final books to arrive and then I can start.
    So two things to look forward to that keep me going - and ofcourse I`ll look forward to next summer too, its got so cold here the warm sun would be lovely :)
    Great goals/motivation Izzy - I hope you achieve them!