Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Sunday, October 2, 2016

Overeating on snacks in recovery - advice

Hello, Izzy. I've read your blog for a long time, you are one of the important reasons to help me decide to choose recovery. Thank you :)
Now I've just started my recovery seriously (I tried and relapsed many times before cus I don't want to recovery by myself��) What happened is I started to eat a lot of snacks and sweets after didn't eat it for a year. Sometimes I keep eating and eating because I just want to eat it and stuffed myself too much. I understand and try to cope myself with the thought that this is extreme hunger, and I can say that I have just a little bit problems w/ this.

But the problem is I always think like 'I have to gain weight, I can eat a lot. It's good' when I ate and that lead me to eating more. Is it good or bad that I think like this? I'm afraid that it will not balance, swinging from eating too less to too much, and turn bad to my health. How I should adjust myself? Please help me :'(

   It is hard to give very detailed advice about just "your" situation as i dont know so much about you, but i can give some general tips/advice about similar situations.

The reason you feel you are "binging" on all those foods could be because your body wants the energy - it has been malnourished for so long, that now it just wants all the food and energy and then when you eat food such as chocolate or cookies you want more and more. But also it could be because you have the "black and white"/"all or nothing" mind set. Where you label food as "good" or "bad" and then when you eat one of the bad foods, you think you have already messed up so you just keep eating it and can't stop.

My best advice would be to try to eat regular meals throughout the day with enough energy for YOU. So no restriction or low calorie intake, instead feed your body properly and make sure to eat enough carbohydrates throughout the day. Because if you restrict on carbohydrates you can get sugar cravings and it can lead to binging. So by eating enough your body will get enough energy and minimize binges or extreme cravings. 

However you should keep things like cakes or cookies or chocolate in your diet because if you tell yourself you cant have them, then you will just end  up thinking about them more. And once you do eat them, you will just want more and cant stop yourself. It is ok to eat all types of foods, no food is bad or dangerous - it is all about how much you eat of them. I.e its better to eat some chocolate when you crave it, rather than not eating it and then overeating on a whole chocolate package a week later. 

Trying to find balance with food and your mindset around food is the most important. Try to listen to your body.... is it actually chocolate cravings you are having, or is it because you havent eaten enough during the day? Do you really want to eat the whole package of cookies, or is maybe 2 or 3 enough and you can eat the rest another day?

I would also recommend that you begin to think of all the reasons why you WANT to and SHOULD recover. Because recovery isnt just about eating or gaining weight, its about changing your mindset and thoughts as well as habits or even lifestyle if necessary. You need to WANT recovery. Of course in the beginning its best to just follow the recovery steps such as eating, resting, facing fear foods, doing the opposite of your eating disorder thoughts. But you also need to get to the root of the problem and face your problems, whether its low self esteem, past trauma, insecurity, anxiety problems, fear of the future etc you need to deal with those problems which will help you to fully recover.

In recovery i wouldnt overanalyze what you eat, sometimes the body needs more energy and you eat lots of food and then it balances itself out. But like mentioned above, sticking to a meal plan with regular meals and enough food should be the base and your guideline and then if you are extra hungry you eat more, or if you really crave something you eat that instead. But you shouldnt compensate lunch with cookies or dinner with cake, instead your meal plan should be eaten first and then other food should be eaten as extra.

Find your reason to recover and know that it is worth it. Think about all the things your eating disorder has stopped you from doing or taken away from you. And ask yourself, do you want to feel the same/be stuck in the same routines and habits 5 years from now?  You can recover, but then you have to decide that you want to. 

Set up a plan for yourself, set up recovery goals and focus on them!! Small steps everyday. You have choices everyday and you need to make recovery choices!! :) Keep fighting - it will get easier and it will get better. But only you can recover for yourself.

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  1. Hi izzy can you help please? I've just restarted college so i can't exercise like i used to as theres no time and when i get home I'm too tired so my weight has been shooting up which is extremely frightening and also I've been feeling so so hungry too that I've had to up my diet despite the weight gain but as I'm doing this alone i don't know what to do to stop the hunger. I've just forced my self to have a second sachet of porridge to my normal snack of 1 sachet but I've also had to eat an extra slice of toast before bed too. i feel so out of control. i can't concentrate on my work and don't know what to do to stop the hunger. i am very near my target weight, thou i set this, so now I'm scared cos ill have to reduce my food soon but what about the hunger? i just feel I'm always in pain and only to the point of agony do i give in and allow myself to have something extra but I'm often taking it out of my meal allowance so its all messy and i just feel a big fat greedy pig. i just want to be free. i can't go on like this. does extreme hunger make you put on loads of weight? also what do i need in my diet to help with the hunger? i have a fear of fats so my diet is pretty much fat free, is this why?

    1. hello,
      i am not Izzy but i write to you as i so understand your fears and feel your pain ♥
      sending you lots of strength and courage to get through.
      believe in yourself, i know it's hard because i fear hunger also and because i feel it all of the time i worry about overeating too.
      all of us out there suffering from eating disorders just have to keep strong and send each other good, healing, strong vibrations and much love.
      take care.

    2. hello,
      you need to trust your body. Your "target weight" may be lower than where your body needs to be right now. The kinds of snacks you are adding sound very sensible ones, and you shouldn't reduce your meals. You might need more than you're letting yourself have at present anyway? Your body needs food, and if you have been underweight for a long time, you may well experience extreme hunger and your weight will probably need to go up a bit more than you might feel comfortable with in your head at first, because the body needs that, as part of recovery. If you respect it, it will settle down in the end. If you try to restrict to make it do what you think it should, then you will have many more problems for much longer. It is not worth it, I promise.

    3. thank you both for your comments i really appreciate your support and kindness thank u x

    4. Ive answered you in a post now which i hope helps <3

  2. Agree with Izzy's advice!! It indeed is a really different thing for everybody.. In my case for example the extreme hunger or what ever you want to call it made me literally poison myself with Sugar several times. That was extremely dagerous and didn't help the gaining and getting heatlhier process either because it leadto throwing up (unintentionally of course!!), diarrhea and just over all sickness with heavy migraines, irregular heartbeat, fever etc. So yes, it isn't Always good to keep on giving in to the urges of wanting to eat sweets. Don't be scared thoughi don't know how much you are really eating. I mean, i ate several KILO GRAMS daily worth of very high fat and sugar foods like pick&mixes, ben&jerry's, chocolate bars etc. What helped me get healthier was upping my caloric intake of good filling healthier foods like fruits,veg, grains, bread, corn, lentils, hummus, muesli, crackers, oatmeal etc. etc. Just to make sure my body got the fuel it was craving for and that soon made the urges fade away. Simply because i got satisfied :) Remember that it isn't bad to eat sweets! Don't cut them out entirely because that leads your mind to deprivaiation again. You could maybe also set upsome kind of nutriƫnt goal for yourself? That's what helped me at least! Just roughly estimated then made sure i had at least 4 big healthy meals in the first recovery stage with two healthy snacks as well. Anything on top of that would be sweets like choc and so. This was what i did at least and needed because i felt soooo hungry all the time. Good luck!!

  3. hi josephine would you be able to list some more suggestions of nutritious filling foods the above is really helpful thanks