Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Wednesday, October 12, 2016

Making excuses in life and in recovery

Something which you might find yourself doing while sick or "trying" to recover is making alot of excuses as to why you can't actually recover or challenge a fear or do something that is scary but part of recovery.

You come with all types of reasons that hold you back. Whether you say, "i will be fat if i gain weight", "i will hate myself even more when i reach my goal weight", "i wont be happy when i have reached my goal weight", "i cant gain weight because of X or Y", "I dont need to be able to eat x or y food", "i dont need to rest now even though i should - but i have energy so i'll exercise anyway", "Everyone else is exercising, so i will as well", "I cant eat my night snack that contains bread because i already ate bread for breakfast", "I can't eat lunch because i am going to go out to a restaurant to eat dinner"  etc etc etc

I often find that when i have email contact with people, trying to give them advice they often answer back with reasons or excuses as to why that advice wouldnt work for them. All reasons to get out of doing what you should/need to do. Talking yourself out of recovery and giving yourself reasons as to why you can't do something, but all that is doing is holding you back. All the excuses you make just keep you sick and is your illness talking for you, trying to keep you in your comfort zone and not have to face your fears.

But it is when you drop those excuses and begin to really make a change that you begin to progress in recovery.

While i was sick i often gave the reason that i didnt like certain foods so that i wouldnt have to eat them. But once i began to be honest with myself and to try those foods again i realised that so many of the foods i said i didnt like, i actually liked. And many of the foods i did eat i didnt even like, but ate them because they were low calories.

Excuses aren't just in recovery, but in life in general as well. Giving excuses that hold us back in life... of course not all reasons are excuses, i.e sometimes when i dont want to go out due to being very tired that isnt an excuse, that is an actual valid reason just like if someone who has celiac disease say they dont eat gluten that isnt an excuse it is an actual reason.

At times your illness can be a valid reason and sometimes an excuse. For example say if you have plans to meet friends but then your depression or anxiety hits hard and you feel that you can barely function due to it, then it is an actual valid reason as to why you might not go out. But then if you have just a little anxiety or worry about what you might do or worried about the evening because of the unknown or whatever so  you give the excuse, "i can't i am too tired", when in reality it is just a little anxiety and that actually facing that anxiety and leaving would be the best option and most helpful in the long term. If you get the difference? Hard to explain in text.

It is time to stop holding yourself back, both in life and recovery and be honest with yourself. Are you making excuses to get out of things that need to be done or should be done? Are you holding yourself back from progressing in life and/or recovery?


  1. Very good post! Not very relatable for me anymore in terms of recovery from my ed. But for life in general it really is. Due to my rehabilitation for my hips and the unknown around all that regarding my progress and what not.. It just makes me hold back a lot. I dare not to do things or plan things because i simply can't. I mean, i maybe could do sth theoretically but then practically it's barely possible to perform anything. Sitting is a no go for me as well as standing still for longer periods of time due to stiffness, soreness, intense pain. The whole illness with my hips has made me pull up high walls around me too. Leaving me in my lonely little safe and depressed bubble. I'm currently at a point where i start to feel like i should try to do something i want to do besides the rehabilitation (which does take up several hours a day, around 5 hours a day i'm guessing including the actual exercises plus muscle relaxation stuff). But i do find the time and the motivation the past couple of weeks to get more active upon the internet and read interesting articles, watch Ted Talks, listen to podcasts, watch a movie or Youtube. Despite the fact that i can't do most of that stuff!! I still find a way to manage and now even find myself enjoying it more and more :) Sorry for this egocentric ramble btw. I just feel the need to tell you though, hahah. Especially since i've started reading your blog on a daily basis i find you are one of the people where i can somewhat relate to as well as that you're motivating me to go on with life no matter how shit things may be atm!

    1. Wow I didn't know that your rehab took so many hours... that really most seem tedious some days. But stay strong and know that the rehab will help in the long term!! Don't let the pain and your hip problems stop you from living life... it might limit you in certain areas but thinknow of all the things you can do and don't get caught up on the things you can't do. The tough times won't last forever:)