Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


Saturday, October 8, 2016

Judging people by their weight

What is your opinion about people who are declared healthy from anorexia still has the physique as they would compete in bikini fitness all year round? Do you think they're healthy?

Recovering from an eating disorder is about mentally recovering and in the end, it is only the person themselves that knows whether they are truly healthy or not. Also people can be all different sizes when recovered from an eating disorder - there is no "one recovered size".

I dont want to speculate or judge people based on their weight, but i personally think that if someone is still  (very) underweight or has an extremely low body fat, and neither are due to medical reasons, then i guess it is fair to wonder how healthy they are.  I think for some people they might just get comfortable in their body and even if they are underweight or have a low body fat they dont see the point in changing it.... maybe they eat enough to maintain their weight and they are living life. But maybe somewhere deep inside they still fear weight gain and so never try to gain the weight.

Of course a person can still be recovered and healthy, however generally speaking after an eating disorder the body wants a higher weight (due to the stress that has been in your  body from the eating disorder and lack of nutrition/or binges.) But also having a healthy fat percent is important for all the normal bodily functions as well as having a higher weight can reduce the chance of relapse.

I think some - who might not be fully recovered - use the excuse that they can't gain weight. But the truth is.... everyone can gain weight unless their is an actual medical reason (which is a rare condition!). Taking myself for an example, when i was in half recovery i kept telling everyone and even myself that i couldnt gain weight.... i wanted to stay at Xkg and didnt want to gain weight as i was scared. So i blamed it on my CF, that i couldnt gain weight. But once i actually began trying to gain weight, when i focused on eating lots more then i could gain the weight and my body settled at a healthy weight. Also, when i lost weight a few weeks/months ago, it felt hopeless to try to regain the weight as i felt like i was eating and eating but my weight wouldnt go up. But then i decided to make changes to my diet and i was able to gain weight on a vegan diet - as well as having an illness that makes me burn even more energy just being alive. So it isnt impossible to gain weight, and i think many just get comfortable or dont want to admit that they are actually scared of gaining weight.

I think it is wrong to judge people by their body size or weight, as those things dont always show whether a person is healthy or not. But also people can be different sizes and weight. For example,  when i lost the weight i got lots of people wondering or telling me that i was sick again, that i have developed an eating disorder etc and that WASNT true.. but they were just basing it on the weightloss, and i found that rather rude. Because people can gain and lose weight without it meaning that they have relapsed or have an eating disorder. So i dont want to judge or speculate just based on a persons weight. I think peoples actions and how they behave are better ways to judge whether a  person is sick or not, and well only the people close to them can see that.

However, i do find that in social media there is alot of fitness and SO MANY people "recovering" (?) from an eating disorder and suddenly going to compete in bikini or body competition. I dont personally think those competitions are healthy and i dont understand why someone who has been through an eating disorder - put their body under so much stress - would suddenly focus all their attention on their body and changing their body, controlling their food intake and then standing on a stage in a bikini and being judged on their appearance and their body - who has the lowest body fat percent, most feminine but muscular body etc (of course its more detailed than that.... ). I dont really understand why someone with a past with an eating disorder would do that ? I would never give up my healthy balanced meals or healthy mindset regarding food, to have to weigh my body and count calories, and have to weigh myself and aim for a low body fat percent. I would never want to put my body through starvation or to have my body judged against others. THough i guess everyone is different, but i dont think any of those competitions are healthy and of course you ca speculate whether a person who has had an eating disorder, decides to compete just so that they can hide their eating disorder. But this is a different topic which i have already wrriten about:


Recovery from an eating disorder is about mental recovery, but it is also about physical recovery. And only the person knows themselves whether they are fully recovered and whether their body is healthy or not. Its unfair to judge - it is up to the person themselves to be honest to themselves.

The important thing is to focus on YOURSELF and not care how others look. Focus on being healthy and happy yourself, because their will always be people out their who look different and you will stumble accross many accounts online where you can speculate how healthy a person is, but you can only focus on you and that is something i have learnt the past few years. That i can not get irritated over what others post online or how others look, all i can do is focus on myself and that makes me a happier person!!

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