If you have lost alot of weight due to your eating disorder and you need to regain that weight, it does mean that your body will change. The changes arent negative or bad ones, they are changes your body has to make to be healthy again. Its not always easy to accept the changes your body goes through, but its something you just need to do. You cant spend your whole life hating your body or trying to change your body because then you will never be at peace with your body, you will lack confidence and just not feel good about yourself if you are constantly wishing to look like someone else or wishing your body looked different. There are so many other important things in life to worry about and other things to put your focus and energy on, rather than worrying about your body. Also remember that all those "flaws" you see - only you notice them.
You have to take the attention away from your body and realize that you look the way you do. Genetics play a huge role in how you look and certain things you just cant change and you just need to be ok with that. But also accepting the fact that people look different, there will ALWAYS be someone skinnier than you and someone bigger than you. And its just to accept that fact. There is NO pride in being the skinniest or being the leanest. Focus on loving yourself and unfollow any accounts that might trigger you or make you feel bad about your body.
Recovery is about learning to love your healthy body. Not just your appearance, but learn to be happy in your body because it is stronger, because it is healthier and more capable. Strength training and running were two things that made it easier for me to love my body, not because it changed my body but because i realised what my body could do. I loved having a healthier and stronger body and realizing that i could carry groceries from the store without getting tired, i could go for runs and not feel like fainting, i could lift weights and notice myself getting stronger. There is of course a negative to working out because it can lead you to become focused on looking "fit" or having abs or being super lean, but if you just focus on what your body can do and not changing your body it can make it easier for you to love your body and love exercise. Compared to if you exercise just to change your body.
Reliase that there is no pride or achievement in being the skinniest. There is however achievement in being healthy, mentally and physically. Knowing that you are fueling your body properly, treating it properly and being capable of living life.
Your body will change in recovery and some of my tips are to
1) get rid of old triggering photos of yourself.
2) Get rid of too small clothes.
3) No measuring or weighing yourself
4) Unfollow triggering accounts
5) Say 5 positive things about yourself every morning and evening
6) If you ever get negative thoughts about yourself change them to positive ones. Dont let the negative thoughts win.
7)Wear comfortable clothes. Take care of your skin and hair. Make yourself feel good.
8) Accept your flaws. We all have small things we get caught up on about ourselves. But learn to accept them and just be ok with them.
9) Realise that changing your body wont bring happiness if the problem is in your head.
10) Do things that make you feel more body confident. Maybe wear a tight top. Go swimming. Buy an outfit that makes you feel confident. Get your hair cut or dye your hair. Get a massage. etc All those things force you to feel more confident in your body.
Its a learning process and it takes time. But changing your thoughts is the important thing. If you constantly long back to a skinny body or constantly think about changing your body or wanting to look like someone else, then it is very hard to learn to love yourself and be ok with your body. It all starts in your head!!
Below are some other helpful posts:
Not being the skinniest anymore and how to adjust
Seeing your body change - eating disorder recovery
Be your own "body goals"
Learn to love your body
Good body image days shouldnt just be when you feel skinny or thin
Learning self love - my self love journey
Dealing with your body changing in recovery
My weght distribution during recovery (contains trggering pictures)
How to feel confident in yourself and your body
I'm weight restored, what happens now
If i can't be skinny, i'll be fit
Summer body and going on detoxes
10 better body affirmations