Life without Anorexia
My motto is 'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'
I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.
I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.
I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.
I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at: firstname.lastname@example.org
Tuesday, October 11, 2016
Feeling extra tired, hospital visit and studying
I thought i would write a quick update before i am off to school for the day. Feeling just as unmotivated as yesterday. Its been tough to get up in the morning, ive felt cold all the time and heavy in my body and today my throat hurts a little so its not so strange that i feel unmotivated to get up at 6am and go to school when i would much rather lie in bed under the covers all day.
Today is a long day in school, but after that i have Wednesday and Thursday to study at home for my test on Friday, though if i feel better i'll join some friends and study as a group tomorrow. You always learn more when you can share ideas and ask questions etc
Anyway, yesterday was not such a great day at all. Infact i woke up - after sleeping past my alarm 30 minutes - and just felt unmotivated and tired. But i got my school things packed and headed off to school, however once i sat in the lecture i realised that i could have just studied at home as the lecture wasnt anything new or difficult for me. So slight irritation when i sat there for 2 hours and realized i could have slept longer and stayed at home, hahaha.
The day didnt get much better after that... because then i had to sit in school and study until it was time to head to the hospital in Gothenburg as it was time for my CF appointment. - my first time there.
Once i entered the hospital building i just wanted to cry. The environment, the people, the negativity heavy in the atmosphere... i hate it. Each hospital i visit just makes me want to break down and cry. It sounds silly, but when you have a past like i do with so many hospital visits, so many different doctors, so many nightmares in hospital beds and so many inpatient stays aganist my own will - then its not so strange that i still get nightmares about being locked up in a hospital and that having to go to a hospital every 6 weeks is so mentally draining for me.
The nurses were lovely though and they were understanding that everything was new and the procedures were the same as they are in Stockholm.
It felt a little tiring to have to meet another doctor and have to explain my whole life situation again and go through everything and answer a bunch of questions, when all i wanted to do was leave. And the one thing i wanted out of the visit was to get my medication renewed so that i can breathe properly and not cough so much blood. But there was a whole mix up with my medication and medication list, so that wont be fixed until next week or so.... so i left there feeling a little irritated, but happy over the fact that nothing serious is wrong with me - hopefully!
The best way to make myself feel better after a visit at the hospital? Delicious food.
Some would say "dont use food as a treat - you arent a dog", but i personally think that as long as you dont abuse food then i dont see the problem in using food as a treat!
So a new ice cream flavour - chocolate peanut crunch was exactly what i needed!
And then i finally got around to trying the advice i got from a reader months ago, i.e baking sweet potatoe in the microwave. I was skeptical and thought - my microwave will explode, but you know what.... in 8 minutes it is done and it is soft and gooey and delicous (just give it some minutes to cool down!), and i topped that with ice cream and peanuts - and that was the perfect fast food i needed!!
And then i spent my evening talk to my sister, my mum and my dad - all in different conversations, but it was nice to talk to them all and feel that connection and not so lonely. As i was feeling rather lonely and missing home as well, but i know these feelings will pass. My family are just a phone call away, as well as i can just jump on a train if i want to... some people need to fly to another country to visit their family, so i shouldnt complain about my situation.
Anyway, now the time has run away completely, so its time to end this post!
Today i am going to drink super strong coffee, take a bunch of vitamins and pills and just make the best of this day!!
Positive thoughts. Positive mindset. And make the best of my day, and i suggest you do the same thing!!
Positive thoughts in the morning can change your day and mood completely!!!