Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: lifewithoutanorexia@hotmail.com

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Tuesday, October 11, 2016

Feeling extra tired, hospital visit and studying

Hello :)

I thought i would write a quick update before i am off to school for the day. Feeling just as unmotivated as yesterday. Its been tough to get up in the morning, ive felt cold all the time and heavy in my body and today my throat hurts a little so its not so strange that i feel unmotivated to get up at 6am and go to school when i would much rather lie in bed under the covers all day. 

Today is a long day in school, but after that i have Wednesday and Thursday to study at home for my test on Friday, though if i feel better i'll join some friends and study as a group tomorrow. You always learn more when you can share ideas and ask questions etc

Anyway, yesterday was not such a great day at all. Infact i woke up - after sleeping past my alarm 30 minutes - and just felt unmotivated and tired. But i got my school things packed and headed off to school, however once i sat in the lecture i realised that i could have just studied at home as the lecture wasnt anything new or difficult for me. So slight irritation when i sat there for 2 hours and realized i could have slept longer and stayed at home, hahaha. 
The day didnt get much better after that... because then i had to sit in school and study until it was time to head to the hospital in Gothenburg as it was time for my CF appointment. - my first time there.
Once i entered the hospital building i just wanted to cry. The environment, the people, the negativity heavy in the atmosphere... i hate it. Each hospital i visit just makes me want to break down and cry. It sounds silly, but when you have a past like i do with so many hospital visits, so many different doctors, so many nightmares in hospital beds and so many inpatient stays aganist my own will - then its not so strange that i still get nightmares about being locked up in a hospital and that having to go to a hospital every 6 weeks is so mentally draining for me. 
The nurses were lovely though and they were understanding that everything was new and the procedures were the same as they are in Stockholm.
It felt a little tiring to have to meet another doctor and have to explain my whole life situation again and go through everything and answer a bunch of questions, when all i wanted to do was leave. And the one thing i wanted out of the visit was to get my medication renewed so that i can breathe properly and not cough so much blood. But there was a whole mix up with my medication and medication list, so that wont be fixed until next week or so.... so i left there feeling a little  irritated, but happy over the fact that nothing serious is wrong with me - hopefully!

The best way to make myself feel better after a visit at the hospital? Delicious food.
Some would say "dont use food as a treat - you arent a dog", but i personally think that as long as you dont abuse food then i dont see the problem in using food as a treat!
So a new ice cream flavour - chocolate peanut crunch was exactly what i needed!

And then i finally got around to trying the advice i got from a reader months ago, i.e baking sweet potatoe in the microwave. I was skeptical and thought - my microwave will explode, but you know what.... in 8 minutes it is done and it is soft and gooey and delicous (just give it some minutes to cool down!), and i topped that with ice cream and peanuts - and that was the perfect fast food i needed!!

And then i spent my evening talk to my sister, my mum and my dad - all in different conversations, but it was nice to talk to them all and feel that connection and not so lonely. As i was feeling rather lonely and missing home as well, but i know these feelings will pass. My family are just a phone call away, as well as i can just jump on a train if i want to... some people need to fly to another country to visit their family, so i shouldnt complain about my situation. 

Anyway, now the time has run away completely, so its time to end this post!
Today i am going to drink super strong coffee, take a bunch of vitamins and pills and just make the best of this day!!

Positive thoughts. Positive mindset. And make the best of my day, and i suggest you do the same thing!!

Positive thoughts in the morning can change your day and mood completely!!!


3 comments:

  1. Hi Izzy - I really hope your day gets better and you feel more like your old self again. Good to hear everything went ok at the hospital even though you found it an ordeal - that's along time to have to wait for your medication though?
    Ice cream and sweet potato - that is certainly different! was it nice? I would never have thought of the two together :) I have recently been craving mashed parsnips - never used to like them but now I can`t get enough of them! Had it for tea several days in a row so far - so yummy!
    You know its hard to stay on top of things and motivated at this time of year. Summer has disappeared and the weather is turning miserable, not to mention the dark mornings and the darker earlier evenings - its no wonder we get a bit despondant. So don`t be too hard on yourself :(
    Hope your day is getting better for you - take care

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  2. Hi Izzy, love your blog, thank you because you help so many people! I was wondering if you could please give me some advice- I came out of hospital a few weeks ago and I'm eating nothing/ eating very very little. I just want to go back to hospital because I am struggling so much- could you give me any advice? It so so hard to eat and drink and I am so stressed with my final exams for school coming up in a few weeks. I just feel like I need to be in hospital to turn things around so I can eat for my exams, but they won't admit me at the moment. I just want to go back but I can't! Thank you so much!

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    Replies
    1. I've answered you in a post now which I hope helps :)

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