How do you manage to deal with these feelings of loneliness and pressure? Also, are you taking any vitamins or supplements to help with focus/energy/ mood that you can please recommend. I’ve cried so much recently because I feel like I’m floating and can’t quite keep up with all the demands of university and living so far (14 hour flight) from home. I know I’ll eventually find my feet, but for now, any tips? Did/have you joined clubs and societies? How do you manage?
Sorry, I know this isn’t an ED problem but I feel like you’re so amazing at giving helpful advice.
Thanks so much
Its great to hear that you are settling in to university and enjoying it, even if some times are harder than others. When it comes to university and if you are there to study, then its not like you see in movies where you are out partying all the time or have a huge social life, because the truth is... university isnt always easy and there is alot of work to be done and not always time over for socializing (though it is very different for everyone). School work should come first, however you should also make time for socializing and trying to make friends, because friends are most often made during the first few weeks when everyone is new and looking for friends. HOWEVER remember that true friendship takes time to happen, the first few weeks or months you will just feel like acquaintances... people you talk to while in school but maybe have little contact with outside of school, and it CAN feel lonely. Like you have friends but not really. People you talk to, but nobody you can call when you need someone to talk to, or someone you can spend hours with and enjoy every moment/an effortless friendship like you might have with people back at home. But it takes time for friendships like that to happen.
My best advice... be the one to organize events or social meetings if you want to make more friends. The people you hang out with/feel comfortable with, ask to study together then you get two things done at the same time. Socializing and school work. Or suggest going for coffee or dinner after studying, or maybe after a test or huge exam suggest going for a drink or a coffee... maybe get some other people in your class to join. Or maybe there is a movie you want to see at the cinema... ask if someone wants to join. Or if you have any interests/hobbies see if there is any group for that hobby/interest which you can join and make friends that way? Or for example if you go to the gym, ask if someone wants to be your gym buddy... even if its just once every 2 weeks or so, it can be a good way to get to know people better and have an "outside of school" friendship.
School is tiring and takes up alot of time with reading and assignments, but try to get some time over each week to socialize, even if it means going outside of your comfort zone. I am the type of person who would like to spend 90% of my time alone and need alot of time alone, but now in university i force myself to stay after school to sit and talk with others or to join in different events or dare to sit beside new people and say hi and also to be the one to start the conversation. Thats the best thing that works for me.... in the past when i just sat silent i never made friends.
With the lonliness all i can say is that it will get easier. I have never personally struggled with homelonging or alot of lonliness - i am too introverted and independant i guess and move on so easily so i just adapt and get on with life. But from other peoples stories i have gathered that in time it gets easier. When you feel more settled and when you feel that you have your life and routine and friends and school in your new place you wont have as much homelonging. But you have only been to school for a few weeks now - so let it take time. Things are still new for you. Its a new city, a new country, a new school, new friends.... it will feel a little crazy and overwhelming at times, but be kind to yourself. Allow yourself to cry and feel the way you do. And try to keep in contact with your friends and family at home, but also allow yourself to settle into university and to feel comfortable. There are many people who jump off their university course because they cant cope living away from home or miss their family or friends or their partner too much, and that is ok as well. That is NOT a failure, everyone is different. But i would say, give it atleast 3 months before you make any decision about moving home. It takes a few months to settle in as well as to make new friends, dont make rash decisions the first 2 months as things change so quickly.
Also if you are struggling with stress or the work load or feel yourself relapsing DO take contact with the school nurse or therapist or whoever is there to help. Dont allow yourself to relapse or suffer in silence, if your health is at risk while at university then maybe moving home again would be the best option. But i would suggest talking and reaching out for help if it gets too much. And remember that other people most likely feel the same way as you - struggling with the work load and homelonging and feeling lonely, so you arent alone and sometimes the best thing can be to just be open about it, that can be the start of some bonding with others as they will relate to how you feel. Try to balance your life and organize and priortize... everything doesnt have to be perfect, sometimes you just have to sendin the work and if you fail something, that is OK as well. Its not easy, but you need to have a life outside of studying as well, so dont hide away in your room as that wont make you feel better.
With energy i suggest a D vitamin tablet as well as green tea and even spirulina (doesnt taste the best, but its good) are great sources of energy. And making sure that you get enough iron in your diet! But my energy comes from sleeping enough, exercise, planning my day so i dont overstudy and also fueling myself properly and limiting my caffeine consumption!
I hope things start to feel better soon!! Give it time!! And i am always hear if you need to talk or need any advice :)