Life without Anorexia
My motto is 'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'
I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.
I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.
I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.
I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at: email@example.com
Saturday, October 8, 2016
Daring to step outside of my comfort zone - socializing and being an introvert
One thing i am good at doing is cancelling events or planning to meet friends or people but then getting anxiety or feeling nervous or just feeling tired and then not going.
I want to socialize and meet new people but once it is time to actually socialize i just back out and dont want to anymore.
Yesterday i asked two of my friends at school whether they wanted to go and eat at a vegan taco buffet today. Ii was a little nervous to ask but both agreed and i thought that was super fun and was looking forward to today.... that was until one of my friends wrote and said that she had a fever and wouldnt be joining today. Then suddenly i got anxiety and thought... i dont want to go. What if its just me and the other girl and we sit there awkwardly and have nothing to say. Or what if the other girl doesnt even want to meet me or doesnt want to go or she goes just to be polite but hates it. All these thoughts and i wanted to cancel, i kept thinking i should write and just say "sorry, im not feeling so well and cancel"... or secretly hoping that the other girl would cancel so that i could just stay at home.
All the anxiety and the introvert inside of me wanted to stay at home. But i know that this feeling holds me back in life.. it makes me say no to social events and i decided "enough was enough". If i want to make friends in university i need to leave the house and not just hide away and not socialize because it gives me anxiety. So i got ready and left and i actually had a good time.
It was just me and the other girl, but both of us are vegan so we had things to talk about that as well as school and travelling etc Its good to meet and talk to people outside of school so that its not just a "school acquaintence" thing, but also ive realized that I need to be the one to suggest meeting or doing things, because my friends who already have their lives in gothenburg dont really think about inviting me to do things, as they already have their friends and lives here. Whereas i am the new one and still trying to make friends and have people to hang out with outside of school.
I always feel strangely proud over myself when i conquer that voice in my head that says "stay at home". Each time i refuse to listen to that voice, the more confident i feel!
If you feel that you suffer from the same thing or feel that anxiety or fear holds you back, or you are very much introverted... just know that it gets easier and that you just have to force yourself out of the house and dare to talk to people. Dare to socialize. And not let the voice that says "everyone hates me. Or people just hang out with me because of sympathy" control you or hold you back from socializing - because it isnt worth it. Making friends is about daring to talk to new people, suggesting that you meet and do things, its the only way really.
Push past the uncomfortable feeling and the anxiety and know that even if you just go for 10 minutes to a social event, it means that you have atleast tried and that is the important thing!
This evening it was supposed to be a vegan meet up in Gothenburg, but the event got cancelled, which i am a little upset over but at the same time relieved about, because it is cold and im tired and ive had enough socializing for the day, hahahah! But hopefully i will go when the meet up gets rescheduled!!
Anyway... to end this post, it seems like my previous post got a little misinterpreted. It was just thoughts i had. There are SO MANY THINGS to take into condsideration and so many different aspects and reasonings and different stances on things and there is no way you can do it all. You still need to be able to live life! Those were just hypothetical thoughts i had and yes, my lifestyle HAS changed thats the point about veganism. I havent just changed my diet, but my lifestyle as well and that makes me think more about things before i buy them or just about different world problems... its good to be aware of the different problems, but once again you cant become overcome by the problems because then you just feel paralyzed and overwhelmed by it all. And you need to be practical and live life. Its hard to explain over text, it would be easier to talk about it... but for now im not going to do that as i have already written the long text, haha!! But do feel free to leave your opinon or comment if you have anything to add, i dont take things personally unless it is an actual attack on me!
Anyway, ending this post here so that it doesnt get too long!
I hope you have all had a great day and have a lovely weekend :)