Life without Anorexia
My motto is 'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'
I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.
I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.
I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.
I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at: firstname.lastname@example.org
Monday, September 19, 2016
What depression looks like
When you think of someone who is depressed, you might think about someone who looks very sad and low and doesnt get out of bed... but that isnt the case. Depression can be "Hidden" and not always seen from the outside. People can be very depressed and still push on with their lives and try to live their life and follow their routines and responsibilities to the best of their capability, though everything is just much harder to do when depressed.
While i was depressed i kept trying to live life.... go to school, go to the gym, food shop, try to make food or bake... but everything was so much harder. It wasnt fun and leaving the house could take hours in the morning. I had little to no social life, i spent my hours studying or lying in bed. I may have looked like i was functioning - like i had a good life (School and good grades, a "bright" future, a house and family that loved me, a boyfriend and i was always on top of things... working out, studying and updating social media. ) However in reality, i could barely get out of bed in the morning and relied heavily on caffeine to get me going. I had suicidal thoughts both day and night and used different coping methods to keep me from actually following those ideas/thoughts.
I even reached a point where i showered 1-2 times a week, barely brushed my hair or washed my teeth, it just took too much energy and i didnt see the point. Why care about my appearance when i just wanted to hide away and never leave my bed or my house.
On the outside i looked like i was functioning, but on the inside i was far from a functioning human being.
I didnt take many photos of myself or life in general when depressed, but i thought i would show a few photos that show, "what a depressed person looks like" i.e there are smiles but the real truth is a very tired and broken down person who is silently screaming for help.
I really didnt take many photos during the 18+ months i struggled with depression, but here are some of the pictures never shown before (or i dont think so anyway).. and behind the fake smile is the struggle.
In the photos i mostly see a lifeless and tired girl. Relying on energy drinks and trying to cope and not break down even further.
To end the post i guess i should add some happier photos and a real smile :)