how do you cope with eating alone? I hate it- I hate it so much - i feel nobody is watching
so why should I eat because nobody will believe i have!
The first thing you need to know is that you need to eat for YOU. Its YOUR body that needs the energy and one of the things i learned in recovery is actions speak louder than words. So even if they dont believe you eat, you still need to eat anyway because its YOUR body that needs the energy.
Also learning to trust your body will help you to be able to eat on your own because if you can trust your body to eat when you are hungry then it is just natural to make yourself a meal or snack when your tummy starts rumbling.
You need to normalize eating in your mind. Take away the guilt factor, not feel ashamed to eat. This goes both ways for those who feel they can't eat on their own and those who feel they can't eat in a group because they feel embarrassed for eating and either can't eat on their own because it's something to feel guilty over. Or they can't eat in a group because it's too embarrassing to admit that you actually eat.
But the thing is..... we all need food. Everyone eats something while on their own. What you see someone eat while in a group may be very different from what they eat on their own. Your body needs energy and can't survive on just one or two meals a day, it needs continual energy just like a car. You need to keep giving it 'energy' to keep going.
It is children who can't take care of themselves who need supervisors to help them eat. And i am sure you aren't a child. Now i know that may come off as rude. But it is an example, showing you that the behaviour you have is not normal or healthy and that it does need to be changed. You can't live a life where you only ever eat if you are with someone else and even then it still gives anxiety. Instead you need to face the fear and guilt and DO the exact thing that gives you anxiety.
Over time eating on your own won't be hard, it will become normal. But you need to try it. The first time you may fail, the second time you might just manage half, the third time you might fail again. But the fourth time you might suceed and then you succeed again the fifth time. So keep going and face your anxiety and your fears, otherwise you will be stuck in the same situation, thoughts and mindset you are in now.