Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: lifewithoutanorexia@hotmail.com

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Friday, September 30, 2016

Resting due to injury

Izzy - i have injured my back running. I am normally very active like you - workout 6 days a week, lots of activity and outdoors activity. I have to rest, im finding it so hard and feeling so guilty about eating. Any advice?

When you are very active it is more common to injur yourself for numerous reasons such as over exertion, not enough rest or recovery time etc Exercise stresses the body so it's important with enough rest time inbetween workouts. 
  I dont know why/how you injured your back but it is super important that you rest now that you have a back injury because if you dont, or you begin exercising too early then you can cause more pain and injury and have to spend even more time resting. So its better to just rest a few weeks, and the time that your body needs to heal properly. Instead do some light stretching so that you don't get stiff. But i would follow your doctors instructions if you have gone there - which could be helpful.

Pain is your bodies way of saying that something is wrong and that it needs rest and recovery, that now you need to rest that muscle and whenever you feel pain because you move or touch a certain area... that is your body telling you to not do that. So listen to your body.


You should not feel guilty for resting or not exercising. This is a period in your life where you are injured and need rest. There are athletes who need to take several weeks or months off because they injure themselves after training so much.

Now is also a good time for you to face your fears and overcome these guilty and anxious thoughts. Because obviously you don't have a very healthy relationship with exercise and food if you are getting anxiety as soon as you dont/arent allowed to exercise. Now you need to remind yourself that you are doing what is GOOD AND HEALTHY for your body right now. Exercise isnt always the thing that makes you healthiest, but rest is also important.
  You aren't fat or lazy and you won't suddenly gain lots of weight - unless you are eating extreme amounts. But also if you do need to gain weight, now is the time to focus on that... because it is very hard and not optimal for your body to try to be gaining weight as well as exercising 6 times a week.

You also need to remember that your body needs food no matter what you do... whether you sleep all day or are busy all day. Exercise is NOT a compensation or reason why you can eat... You should eat so that you have energy to exercise, not exercise so that you can eat.

It is tough to face an exercise addiction and not be able to do something you enjoy, but i think this is good for you. To be forced to rest - DONT exercise and injure yourself even more. Instead be strong  and face your fears and anxieties because you will become sick in life or might injure yourself again. Or might travel somewhere and you cant exercise, and that is ok. You cant panic, freak out and decide to not eat just because of it.
   
I suggest to everyone who exercises regularly to take rest weeks from time to time and to sit down and ask yourself why do you exercise? It is common to maybe feel restless if you are a regular exerciser and then take a few days or even weeks off. But you should never feel the need to not eat (i.e massively restrict to compensate) or to feel guilty for not working out. Exercise should be something that gives you joy and is part of your life, not your whole life.

I know this can feel tough and terrible at the moment, but find other things to do with your day. Distract yourself, enjoy the rest because soon you will be back to your normal self and have lots of energy. This wont ruin progress or make you fat or gain weight. This is rest time so your body can recover from it's energy and you can go back to feeling better again.

Dont let that voice in your head control you, instead fight back and know that you are being strong and doing the right thing at the moment!

I have some posts which talk about anxiety and resting which might help you as well:

Consequences of an eating disorder

I was asked via email what are the consequences of eating disorders. I have had many emails where people have told me that they have ended up with long term consequences due to their eating disorders, everything from osteoperosis to hearing problems to eye sight problems, damaged muscles or ligaments and even bowel problems and incontinence problems. Though there are SO MANY consequences which you might not realise now or might not even care about now. While i was sick i thought, i didnt have a future anyway, so it didnt matter. Well here i am with my future and dealing with knee, hip and lower back problems from my eating disorder (i.e too much exercise and standing in weird posititions as i never wanted to sit down), constant heartburn where medication doesnt work so welldue to the years spent purging as well as self harm scars. Of course, i dont have it that bad my teeth could have been eroded due to all the purging, i could have seriously damaged ligaments or muscles due to over exertion or even have osteoperosis.


Remember that you might not see all the damage that is being done. There can be damage to your organs or intestines and even hormonal damage/problems, not to mention the weakening of your bones and muscles which increases the risk of injuries which can lead to long term problems. Different internal systems and organs can shut down if your body isnt getting the energy it needs as well as your hair, nails and bones getting weaker (and they can grow stronger/healthier with the right nutrition but it can take years, or never go back to the way it was before your eating disorder).


Reaching a size 0 or being the thinnest or weighing the least, it ISNT WORTH IT. Some may be lucky andget away with no long term problems, others are stuck with problems for the rest of their life, and it really isnt worth it. You only have one body and you will be stuck in this body for the rest of your life... are you really going to keep damaging it and one day look back and regret it?

Remember, sometimes a pizza slice is healthier than a run. Take care of your body and treat it right!

Below are some consequences which you might want to think about:

Post about: Consequences of purging
Dangers of laxative abuse
17 effects of bulimia on the body

THIS & THIS post has consequences of eating disoders



Friday finds

Food:

GF pumpkin swirl brownies / Recipe


Salted caramel-cashew chocolate ice cream bars / Recipe

BBQ cauliflower tacos with pineapple salsa / Recipe



Relatabale:
If you’re an introvert, follow @introvertunites​​​.


Life:

"doing cute domestic things with someone is so lovely. Like going shopping for groceries or waking up together and making breakfast or just doing your own thing and existing in the same space and being comfortable and happy together is the nicest thing."  Source: http://affectionatesuggestion.tumblr.com/post/138512128565/doing-cute-domestic-things-with-someone-is-so










"when everyone else is having a lit summer and you’re just at home watching your fav tv series like"





Advice:



Thursday, September 29, 2016

Happiness is everyday joys, not a far off destination

I’m beginning to recognise that real happiness isn’t something large and looming on the horizon ahead, but something small, numerous and already here. The smile of someone you love. A decent breakfast. The warm sunset. Your little everyday joys all lined up in a row.
— Beau Taplin • L i t t l e  E v e r y d a y  J o y s 

With happiness, it is so easy to think "i'll be happy when.....". People think happiness will come when they reach a certain weight or size, or when they travel away somewhere, or when they buy a new item etc

And sure, materialisic joy can bring happiness, and feeling more confident in your body from a change can bring happiness and so can travelling away. But you dont have to wait until you reach a goal or buy something new to feel happy. Happiness can be found in the smallest of things and you dont always have to look so hard.

For me i find happiness is the small simple things such as, 

Having time to go for a walk in the morning. 
When vegetables are cheap in the stores.
When i see rabbits in the garden outside my apartment.
When i learn something new whether its in school or from friends or from an article i read online.
Finding new music which i like.
Waking up without pain in my body.
Being able to breathe properly - the days that i can.
Listening to podcasts.
Seeing pictures of puppies or dogs.
When my mum sends me a daily picture or video of my dog, Daisy.
Phone calls with my family.
Having energy makes me happy.
Eating delicious and nourishing meals throughout the day.
When people tell me i have inspired them.
When people tell me that they are going to eat more plant based/go vegan.
Meeting friends.



So many things to feel happy about and it doesnt have to come from reaching a goal or buying something new. Because sure i feel happy when i buy a product/item i have wanted for a while, and i feel happy when i reach a new goal, but if i just sit and wait for those things to happen there will be alot of times where i dont feel happy. And ive spent far too much of my life feeling unhappy and stuck with a grey cloud over my head and the weight of the world on my shoulders, and i refuse to do that. Everyday i want to smile, everyday i want to feel happy... of course that isnt the case, i dont always feel happy. But i will try my best everyday to feel happy and think positive and try to smile. 

Dont waste your life feeling unhappy and negative. I know its not easy to just "change your thoughts" or to "just smile" especially not when struggling with depression, but depression recovery is possible and you can one day feel truly happy and smile again - and mean it! So just small simple things like trying to smile and not feel bad about it, and trying to see the positives will make a difference!!


Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Dangers of a low BMI

Hi :) I was wondering if you could talk about the dangers of a low bmi. Like I feel like mentally Im good for the most part, but I just have a low bmi. And yeah I know youll say well if your mentally good, why cant you gain weight? but I just like my body now so... but are there actually any dangers when you still have a low bmi but eat normally?

Hello!
   The first thing i am going to say.... even though it might not be what you want to hear, but who says you wont like your body after gaining weight? You dont know how you will look or how your body will function.

  Its easy to trick yourself into thinking that you are feeling ok, that your body is working fine and that you are happy.... but are you? Do you have energy? Does your body hurt? Can you relax or does your body hurt or get very restless?

If you are mentally recovered, then why not give gaining weight another chance. Reach your goal weight.... see how it feels, wait a few weeks focus on body positivity and if you absolutely cant stand it... then you know how to lose weight. But unless you try it, you cant say that you wont like it. You will look different to your pre-ed weight and body.

Also i think its important to ask yourself... how are you maintaining your body weight now? I know you say you eat normally... but do you allow yourself to eat your cravings? Do you listen to your body? Do you eat the food you like and enjoy and not just eat low calorie foods or use certain disordered behaviour to maintain your weight? These are just some good questions to ask yourself and to be honest with yourself.

Now, onto your actual question... the dangers of having a low BMI. I dont know how low your BMI is, but for some people they are naturally a BMI 18 or 17,5 and yes that is underweight and low. But that doesnt mean the person is unhealthy however, after an eating disorder your body does need to weigh more to feel healthier and safer and begin functioning properly again. So going back to your pre-ed weight if it was underweight isnt recommended. Your body will find its set point whether that's BMI 19 or BMI 22 and some people even have a higher healthy BMI. 

Even if you are eating 'enough', your body is underweight... just like being over weight (even if the person eats normally) the body is under stress and pressure from the over weight or underweight. The body is working extra hard to pump blood, to have the organs function properly everyday and all the processes in the body working ok. But after a long time, the stress that is put on the organs and heart will be too much.
  Of course being malnourished and underweight arent really the same thing and a person can be underweight but not malnourished but when you are underweight you can end up with brittle bones, anemia, osteoperosis, you might not have your period if you are a girl, lower immune system (so more risk of getting sick), 

You can read more .HERE


My suggestion to you, like already mentioned... give wieght gain a go... try to reach BMI 18,5+ and give it a while, see how it feels. Know that your body should feel better and so should your mind because your body wont have to work so hard to keep you alive each day.


(On a sidenote, because i always get comments about this. No BMI does not say it all... it is quite an outdated thing but it does work well to tell you whether you are underweight and overweight. If however you are mentally healthy, your body works well, your blood samples are good and you can live a life where food isnt a problem and no disordered eating habits are used then being say BMI 18 doesnt have to be a bad thing. That can be someones healthy set point.... for me, even before my ED i was slightly underweight. But after anorexia i needed to be a healthy weight to get my period back as well as having a healthy, functioning body.
    The important thing is to have a functioning and healthy body and mind. Not so much the number on the scale or BMI.)

Being judged for having an eating disorder

By having my social media and opening up about my story and my past struggles, i have also opened up for comments, both positive and negative ones. I've opened up for judgement and critique from people who dont even know me, but think they do because of the text i write and photos i share, or just because i am a "public person".

A reason why i dont tell new people in my life about my past struggles with an eating disorder - and everything else that was involved with that - is beause i dont want to be judged. I am sure many wouldnt judge me negatively, but at the same time their opinion or their view on me could change. For example i want to be able to eat a salad without someone judging me because of my past and thinking that it is an eating disorder making me choose a salad at a restaurant. I want to be able to go for a run in the morning before breakfast before people jumping to the conclusions that i am restricting myself and trying to burn calories. I want to say that i am vegan without someone thinking that it is just an eating disorder, and i want to be able to say that i love working out and eating healthy without someone jumping to the conclusion that i have developed orthorexia. I want to be normal and like everyone else, which is what i am in my "real life". I am just like anyone else... there are no body comments or remarks about weight gain or weight loss, and the only comments i get about my food is asking for vegan food advice or how to cook certain food or make vegan food taste good or what vegan options there are. I do of course get regular comments about the amount of food i eat, but those dont bother me and i have learnt to deal with them becuase most new people i meet and eat food with comment about my portions or combination of food!

Online however i can get comments telling me that i have just gone from anorexia to orthorexia, or people commenting about my weight and my body - as if it was any of their business - commenting about the food i eat and what i should eat or shouldnt eat, about my portion sizes etc  They dont really bother me, i just get used to them and well... when i post pictures of food, of course there will be comments about it. Bbut sometimes it bothers me when people so freely comment about my appearance, whether it is to say that "i look too small", "i have too little fat", "i looked better when i didnt have so much muscle", "i looked better when i was even skinnier", "am i even a healthy weight?", "am i even healthy/recovered from my eating disorder" etc It just seems unnecessary to comment about my appearance. I look the way i do, and i am a healthy weight (though i dont weigh myself at all if i amnt at the hospital and need to be weighed). But also a healthy mind and a healthy lifestyle/life.

If i hadnt mentioned or been so open about the fact that i have struggled with an eating disorder i dont think people would comment things like that on my photos - or personally email me and attack me. (Yup, thats happened -_-' Or people who personally email me and tell me all the reasons they hate me or dislike me and what i do ? ) I would just be "another online person" who workouts and eats a vegan diet. I dont think people would so freely comment and say "im sick" or "i look too skinny" etc if they didnt know i had once had an eating disorder.

However, i do also find that when i am with my family i am not really allowed to comment "i am so blaoted" or "i feel huge today" or even to be happy when i see some type of progress from working out (I may not workout for appearance reasons, but i am not going to deny that it makes me happy when i begin to see more back muscles or my arms begin to look bigger. ) Whenever i do make comments like that (which happen 1% of the time) my mum always comments back with "You shouldnt be so body focused... your appearance doesnt matter". And i am well aware of this... this is what i preach on here, but at times i wish that i could just make a comment about my body and not be reprimanded for it. I.e i should be able to say that i am bloated or look 8 months pregnant, or fish for a compliment about my body without being told i am shallow or negative or not allowed to do that - purely because i have struggled with body image problems in the past. Whenever my sister comments about her body she was never told that she was "body focused" or "shouldnt complain/talk about her body" instead she would just get lots of compliments about the way she looked, whereas i dont get any... hahaha (do i sound jealous?!!!)


Anyway... a ver long ramble. But i guess i just wanted to write, that in a way i will always be different and judged because i have had an eating disorder. There are things that make me different from my friends, such as i AMNT as focused on my body as others are, i have more balanced eating/thoughts about food compared to friends (or thats how i feel anyway), am more of a positive thinker etc but i can write about that in another post maybe!


Do any of you feel the same way about being different and judged because of having/have had an eating disorder? Or like you get more comments about your body and food compared to others?





Tuesday, September 27, 2016

First university course completed and a glass of wine to celebrate (& talking about vegan alcohol)

Hello :)

It feels like the hours and days are just running away and my days are filled with things to do from early in the morning to late in the evening. But i am not complaining, as long as i get one or two hours in the evening to just lie in bed and watch a series/youtube, i dont mind having my days filled with things to do!

This morning i got up early, felt unmotivated and negative but decided to change my thoughts and just make the best of the day, and that was the best choice i could make because my day did turn out positive!

First up a walk to the gym and a short workout before i headed to school to finish up my notes for my presentation before the rest of my group joined me. And then it was some practise/run through of our presentation before finally, at 1pm it was time for us to present... however during the presentations (not mine) the fire alarm went off in the school building and we all had to evacuate. Several hundred students and teachers stood outside, not quite sure whether it was just a fire drill or an actual fire. But shortly after a fire car arrived, though it didnt seem like it was anything serious so eventually we all got to return into the building and then it was just to try to refocus and gather my thoughts again for my presentation.

Finally at 4pm our presentation was done and everyone in the class could sigh of relief that for now the first course of the progam is completed and all the stress that we have felt could be released. And what was the best way to celebrate? A few of us went to a bar to get something to drink and celebrate.

At first i wasnt super excited to follow with - the introverted and comfortable side of me wanted to just return home, to eat and lie down. But i knew that i needed to push past those feelings, now was my chance to really bond and talk with others from my class and make a better connection. And i had to remind myself that i have the whole Wednesday to rest, so now i needed to just step outside of my comfort zone and socialize more.
So i followed with and had every intention to just buy a redbull or a cola zero, but once i got to the bar i ended up buying a glass of white wine - it felt like a good time and to just be carefree. I dont promote drinking and i dont drink and in all honesty i dont actually like drinking on random occasions like today. I rather save my alcohol consumption to New years. But i made my choice, and well i had to deal with the spinning and dizziness i felt after just half a glass of wine. I really didnt feel so great and it was harder to hear, i felt like i would fall off my chair and i didnt dare go to the bathroom until we were leaving as i thought i would fall over if i tried walking.
Basically... i was reminded of why i dont drink, not even a little. Not to mention that the medication i take for my CF shouldnt be mixed with alcohol. Bbut i was reminded of why i dont like drinking, it is just a waste of money according to me and nothing i want to put into my body (even if i do think it tastes good, i dont want to put alcohol into my body and to feel so unstable.)

But also on the way home i began to realise that not all alcohol is vegan and then when i checked up the white wine i had drunk i realised it wasnt vegan. Which then caused a little anxiety, because i just contributed to animal abuse (in some form). Of course it wasnt on purpose and its not like i went and bought some chicken to eat, but still... i should have thought about it. But because i dont drink i have never had to consider what alcohol is vegan or not, but now i am going to make a list and remember so that next time i drink alcohol i will hopefully choose one which is vegan.

This is kind of a learning lesson for me. Because this is the first time i have bought something/consumed something none vegan since i went vegan months ago. And i need to realise that this doesnt make me less of a vegan or like a bad person. I made a mistake and i am not perfect, but i have learnt from my mistake and i didnt knowingly contribute to the animal abuse, and next time i can make better choices.

Of course some of you might think "wow she is over reacting" but i dont think i am. For me, being a vegan means not contributing to any animal abuse... its not just a diet. Its not just that i dont consume meat or eggs or dairy, but that i dont buy products tested on animals, i dont buy drinks or supplements which have animal products. For example the next time i get my hair cut i will make sure that the hair dresser uses products that havent been tested on animals, and the next time i get a tattoo i will make sure that the ink is vegan, and of course things like hair colour i need to be aware of whether its been tested on animals or not etc (So if you are thinking about going vegan, realise all of thse things  aswell... if you just change your diet, you are just eating plant based and its not a lifestyle change). I do my best, but i am sure i will make other mistakes in the future, i am not perfect. but of course some of my CF medication contains animal products and in the future i hope that they wont, but i am not going to risk my health either. I want to do my best to not contribute to businesses that earn money on animal suffering/death.

Anyway, moving on... i just felt like i needed to write this out.

I had a great time with some of my class mates and it was nice to get that extra bonding time and out of school socializing. Making better connections with people, and of course with a little (or a lot for some people) alcohol in the system its more of a flowing conversation and lots of laughing and walls are broken down etc etc Next time though i am going to stay with alcohol free!

Also wanted to mention that alcohol definitely stimulates an appetite. I came home and it was like i had  a black hole in my stomach - of course that wasnt just the alcohol, but it was like an unsatisfied feeling which i think was due to the alcohol! So extra food was eaten.
Just thought i would mention this, that if you are drinking you might feel more hungry (and its ok to eat more as well!!!) DOnt be scared and sit and feel super hungry, your body still needs energy and fuel when you drink. I can also mention that drinking on an empty stomach isnt a good idea, thats what i did today which contributed to the alcohol affecting me quicker and worse, but also to the extra hunger from not eating enough before drinking but also the alcohol.
So just a little note - but i am guessing its a well known fact that you should have food in your stomach before consuming alcohol!! :)


Yesterdays lunch! Vegan fish fingers on bread with ketchup, potatoe wedges and vegetables.

Lunch (in a box!) Oumph, cashews, vegetables, taco chuips and cheese sandwiches.
Potatoe fries yesterday!!

Should you move away from home/live on your own if you struggle with an eating disoder or depression?

Moving away from home is a rather big step and life changer for most people. For some it is a bigger deal that for others, and for some it is a scarier life change than for others.

Personally, moving away from home has never been a "big thing" or never been something that has scared me (of course at times before i first moved out it scared me, but after that it hasnt). Ever since i was 14 i longed to move away from home and live on my own... i even looked for apartments, but of course as a 14 year old struggling with an eating disorder and suicidal thoughts as well as locked up in an eating disorder clinic, there wasnt much chance that i would be living on my own in the near future. For the next 6 years i dreamed of having my own place, being independant and being an adult, and finally i got the chance to move away from home. At the time i was struggle alot with my depression and had been dealing with suicidal thoughts and lack of life motivation, but the change in scenery and the new life change was exactly what i needed. It pushed me out of my comfort zone, my life changed somewhat and i needed that life change to give me a little boost in life motivation. However it wasnt always easy living on my own and struggling with depression. I was stuck in my little depression bubble - i had no friends in the new area i was living in, i was constantly tired and stressed, low on energy, trying to find positives to keep me going. There were days i didnt have the energy to go grocery shopping or do laundry or clean my room, but they had to be done anyway. When i moved away from home i didnt call or text my family or friends, they were the ones calling and texting me, making sure that i was ok and i would only answer 20% of the time and most often just declined or ignored their messages.... living in my own little bubble. The introverted part of me loved being alone all the time, having no obligation to meet anyone, having no obligation to be social or to smile, just living in my own little bubble. And my depression meant that i was always tired and just did the bare minimum... i studied, i went to school, i worked out and did the basic adult things. At times i had energy and felt happy, other times i could barely get out of bed in the morning and spent my days from 9am to 8pm sitting by the kithcen table, studying.
Moving away from home both helped me recover from my depression, but also held me back from recovery. I needed the new change of scenery, i needed my time alone to just think and figure my life out and what i wanted in life, i needed to test to be an adult and to be independant and to do all the adult things and have no obligation to anyone else (well... i did have a boyfriend back then... but still). I didnt take the best care of myself though, i didnt take my medication, i didnt always brush my hair or eat the healthiest food, i was sometimes a wreck.

When i moved back home again (as my study time was done), i longed to move away from home again but at the same time it was sort of a comfort to live at home again. To see my dog everyday, to have people around me and to eventually talk about my depression with my mum and to get the support and help i needed to recover. It felt good to eat dinner with my family again at times. Of course my depression recovery was due to many factors and i wont get into that now. But over the summer i got better and now when i moved away from home again - and without deep depression, i am doing so much better and coping better with living on my own. I make sure to stay in contact with my family daily, take my medication daily and keep my room tidy and take care of myself and with a vegan diet that my body feels best from i get the right energy and nourishment to keep my body and mind healthy. Living on my own when i dont struggle with depression is so much easier/better than when i lived on my own and struggled with depression.




So after this long post, i will finally get to my opinion about living on your own while struggling with an eating disorder or depression.

My opinion is that you shouldnt live on your own if you are struggling. 1) Bbecause you need support and people around you. I know its nice to be on your own and have your own space, but if you live on your own it is so easy that you have "too much" alone time and that your thoughts take over. But also if you struggling with restrictive eating then you have others around you who make you eat or you eat meals together with so that you dont have to be your own "guard". It is easier to follow a meal plan and to rest when someone else is there making you do it. Also if you struggle with binge eating or purging, then you can sit with family members/whoever you are living with, until those thoughts and compulsion to binge or purge pass. But if you are on your own it is easy to just start binging and purging and no one is there to stop you.

With eating disorders and depression you most often want to be alone. You want to be stuck in your own little bubble where no one ruins your routines or habits, no one forces you to step outside of your comfort zone or change your habits. But that is exactly why you need someone to do that.... being on your own and suffering in silence wont help you recover, even if its "nicer and easier" and what your illness wants. If you are on your own and day in and day out suffer in silence and just follow your sick habits and routines, then it is much harder to recover and to change your ways because you have no "reason" or no one making you change your habits.

I personally wouldnt recommend that you live on your own or move away from if you are struggling with an eating disorder or depression. UNLESS your family/where you are currently living, is making your illness worse or is the cause of your illness... then it can be good to get away. Or if you feel that you CAN make a change while on your own, that you just need a change in scenery, that can be helpful but then you also have to be honest with yourself if you can cope on your own or not.

Moving away from home can be helpful for some, but i think that if you are struggling alot then it will just make your illness worse. Your illness wants you to be on your own, have no one interfere with your routines, but being alone wont help you at all... it can lead to you just getting sicker. So think about your reasons and motives for wanting to move away from home.

But also realise that if you are struggling alot, then maybe moving away from home to study might not be the best option. Your health should come first and school comes second... so if you have moved away from home to study but are struggling alot, then know that it is ALWAYS ok to move home again and get the support you need to recover. There is no shame in that. Moving home again and having support over the summer was exactly what i needed and now i am in a much better place!!


A very long post, but it was something i was thinking about this morning.

What are your opinons about this? Have you moved away from home while struggling with an eating disorder or depression? Did it help you or hinder you?

Changing the negatives to the positives

Image result for positive mindset


Good morning everyone :)

Tuesday morning and i woke up and had a rather negative mindset where i just wanted to complain about everything.... "it's getting colder", "its getting darker", "i have a stomach ache", "i dont want to do my presentation", "im tired" etc etc Waking up and feeling negative is never a good start and just makes me feel tired and unmotivated for the rest of the day, so instead i decided to change my thinking.

Autumn and winter means warmer clothes and can use my heating blanket and walk around with afluffy night gown on inside. Autumn/winter means that it is ok to wear fluffy scarves and big jumpers outside - i can wear all dark and grey clothes and its normal!
It may be getting darker, but that just means that i have to embrace the hours when it is bright outside! And once my presentation is done today i have a day off from school and school work tomorrow before my next course begins on Thursday. It may be hard to breathe and i feel tired and heavy, but once ive gone for a walk i know i will feel much better.

I could complain about everything, but i know that isnt helpful and definitely wont lead to a great day. So instead, starting my day with positive thinking, coffee and a morning walk while listening to a podcast.  The best way to start the day according to me.

Today might not be the best day ever, but there is something great in everyday.

I hope that all of you manage to change your negative thoughts into positive ones and try to find something good about yourself and your day. Those negative thoughts and negative vibes wont lead to anything positive.

Today, make sure to smile or laugh. Try to get some fresh air. Drink enough water and think positive. Do something today that will bring you closer to your goals, a small step forward makes a difference :)