Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Things i have learnt from my summer job


So after 6 weeks or so... (Actually have no idea how many weeks i worked!) i have now finished my summer job. Crazy to think about in all honesty. I remember at the start of the year thinking, i need a summer job but having no idea of how to get one. And i dont know how many times i wrote on my blog i needed a job and was trying to write a CV and a personal letter, and then actually go out and apply for work.... it took a few months for me to actually get it all together. I.e struggling with deep depression, lots of school work and just a lack of motivation... it is hard to do things like CVs and personal letters and actually have the energy to apply for work. But then i moved home to Stockholm again once my studies were done, i decided to "get my shit together" and just do it.... and then i got a job at a food store!

I remember in the beginning i felt so useless and terrible while sitting at the cashier and thought, how will i ever learn it. It was all so much in the beginning... but as time went on i learnt and suddenly i wasnt the newbie anymore and i could pretty much 90% of everything.

On my last day (Monday), i got a whole lot of compliments on my good work and that i would be missed, i got hugs from colleagues and lots of "good lucks" with my studies, as well as being reminded that i could apply for work next summer! It felt strange to leave the store and to hand in my clothes and my key card, but at the same time it was kind of a nice feeling to know that i didnt have work anymore and could now focus on other things in my life. But i will miss work, and even if my self doubt and low self esteem had told me that nobody at my work place liked me.... that voice was wrong and they didnt actually like me and thought i was a super hard worker and great part of the staff.

Anyway, moving on.... everything in life is an experience and you can learn from it. So i thought i would share some of the things i have learnt from my work!

1) When i first began working i felt awful, scared and it was out of my comfort zone. I didnt think i would ever learn all the codes or ever be at ease at the cashier. But after a week or so i was already at ease and work became fun instead of stressful and something that gave me anxiety because i didnt feel good. Sometimes you need to just push past that anxiety and also remember that "everyone starts off somewhere. " I mean how could i know anything about how a cashier works if i had never used one before. But now i know... everyone starts at 0 and you learn and get better. You cant be good at everything, but you can learn and get better! Dont be scared of failing or not being good, be scared of not even trying.... that is the only time you will fail.

2) Taking initiative is important. There were many times i could have just sat at the cashier or just stood around and done nothing. But there were always things to do.... and taking initiative without being told what to do is a very good trait to have. At times of course it can be good to double check if what you are about to do is ok, but sometimes you just got to do things without being told and not just wait for a checklist of things to do.

3) I learnt how to deal with angry and rude customers. I didnt take it personally and just did my best to help. Once the customer was gone, so were my thoughts about what just happened. If you work with lots of other people, this is something you need to learn. To not take other peoples irritation or rudeness personally.... if they are having a bad day, then thats their problem and they shouldnt lash out at you - you who are just doing your job - but unfortunately not everyone thinks like that. So instead learn to take a few deep breaths, smile extra hard and let go of the irritation... and later on talk to a colleague to get that irritation out if it helps!

4) Dealing with stressful situations when there are lots of people and people trying to talk to me from all directions. The first few weeks i wasnt so great at handling that stress... the stress got to me and i looked like a frazzled mess. But after a while i learnt that 1) If there are long queues and people are on their way to open more cashiers, there isnt much else i can do. Or if i am sitting at the cashier and scanning peoples items and others come up and try to do returns or want to know where items are etc, i cant help everyone at the same time. And instead need to send those customers to another colleague who can help them. In the beginning i wanted to do everything at the same time and that is when mistakes happened.

5) Learning that it is ok to make mistakes - but also learning to fix the mistakes. Such as if i double scanned an item, i could help them make a return and get their money back. But also not taking it personally if a customer comes back and shows that i have made a mistake, instead just solving the problem... apologizing and not thinking i am the worst person alive for making a mistake. IT HAPPENS. It isnt always easier, and as long as the customer can get their money back it is ok.

6) Learning to work long hours and keep staying positive and energetic! Not always easy and at times i might not have looked super positive if i was working an 11 hour shift and had stomach pain.. then the last few hours were a little tiring, but for the majority of the time i stayed positive to everyone. Smiled, said hi and did my job.

7) Learning to make conversation with people and that strangers arent so terrifying as they seem! But also.... learning to fake laugh at customers jokes. There have been far too many times when i havent heard what the customer said and instead of saying "what/repeat that" 5 times, i would just laugh.... but then we would just end up staring at each other in awkward silence as laughing most likely wasnt the appropriate response.... hahahha.

I have learnt alot from my job and i could most probably keep going, but as i dont have the time to do that... i will end the post here! One thing which i havent learnt though is How to say no. I did push pas tiredness at times and say yes to a little too much work some weeks because i didnt want to say no.... but i need to learn that i am not a bad person for knowing what is best for me and saying no to work, socializing, events or anything else. Health comes first and sometimes that means saying no. Oone day i will learn.... and i will keep repeating this until i actually do learn!!!!

It was scary and out of my comfort zone at the beginning of work, but after X weeks i am now so much more experienced and have learnt so much. And next job i apply for hopefully wont be all too scary!!!


  1. So funny you posted this today - just yesterday I was reading one of your previous posts and thought to myself "remember when Izzy was first starting and had all that stress about not knowing what to do, and sure enough she settled in like we all do, and I hope she remembers this for next time!". And then today you write pretty much exactly that, lol. Do you think you'll reapply there next summer? Well, maybe it's kind of silly to be thinking about what next summer will bring, a lot can change in a year.. maybe it's better to ask, would you want to work at the store again in the future if it fits into your plans? It seemed to be a largely positive experience. I kinda miss being a cashier, I loved pushing the buttons lol. And I like how you can Zen out in that kind of environment. On hard days at my job I sometimes fantasize about checking out and getting an easy retail or cashier job again just for a break, haha. The nice thing about your job is that it translates to ALL customer service jobs now. You could work anywhere with that experience, any kind of shop or service. It's a good thing to start your work life/resume with.

  2. Just a bit off topic - is their a difference between emotional eating and extreme hunger? I lost control today and ate what i normally wouldn't - it wasn't a massive splurge but the way I felt, the way i did it was very 'out of control/ not normal'. It was a gradual feeling that exploded...what was it?