Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


Sunday, August 28, 2016

New changes in routine - less time to workout? Extra hungry?

I can really identify with this, i have recently restarted college and although im not fully recovered im further than i have been but what im finding hard is that ive no time to exercise anymore and im finding i need to eat more cos i cant concentrate if i dont. Im like so hungry and cos i drive there i am not doing barely anything. Ive put on lots of weight this week and feel awful. Im trying to tell myself my work is more important but i dont know what to do about the fear, the guilt, the hunger and the weight gain.

I thought i would answer your question/write a post about this as i am sure you are not alone with these thoughts and maybe the changes in daily routines.

The first thing i can say is that these cahnges in your lifestyle are OK. Life will always change and your routines and habits will have to change or adapt, and you cant let that change stop you from doing what you want.

When you study or work your body needs alot of fuel as your mind is always working and using so much energy. I dont know whether you were studying before hand, or if you have had a long break or just had a summer break now? But if its been a while since you studied last, you might not realise just how much energy your brain uses while studying or even when starting a new job. Even if you physically might not do as much, it feels like your body is using double the amount of energy because you feel so tired and mentally drained, and maybe even physically drained of energy. Give your body time to adapt, usually during the first few weeks of new school or new work or just new routines in life, dont make exercising the first priority. Instead do other "Life things" such as socializing, exploring, resting or studying/preparing/organizing. If you enjoy exercise you will find time for it again, but usually in the beginning or something new you might need to just take a break from exercise to find yourself, regain energy and then later on find time for exercise in your schedule.

Life is about so much more than food and exercise and weight. Now that you are back in college try to focus on your studies and all the college things and try to live life - as much as possible while still getting school work done, so to say! But what i have found in my own life is that the more i live life, the more i focus on my goals and doing fun things and creating a life i love. The less focus on my body, food or exercise or weight.... those things just arent important if you live a life you enjoy and focus on life.

Dont worry about the weight gain, it really isnt something to feel panicked about. Weight gain happens and it can be for numerous reasons - stress, eating more salt/drinking more water = body can retain water, less sleep, due to different hormones in the body acting up, or it could just be that you are eating more... and that is OK. If you are more hungry, then eat more... that is what you do. Dont focus on the number and do other things in life so that you dont just sit and think or stare at your body, 

You said that you werent fully recovered, so i would say now is the perfect time to focus on full recovery. Letting go of that need to exercise. - maybe refinding a glow/energy for workouts or cherishing that 1 hour you have 3 times a week to exercise instead of feeling like you need to exercise everyday or walk everywhere. Also aybe facing the fears of eating more/less structured/with less control.... dont let your eating disoder control you. Even if you find it scary to eat more - if that is what your body wants, then do it. Fight those thoughts and do the opposite of what your eating disorder wants. Facing your fears and the things that hold you back is the only way to recover.  So now with all the new changes/starting school again, try to find the REAL and healthy you.

Listen to your body. Take care of your body - but also do things in life that make you focus less on "controlled eating/counting everything you eat" and less on weight and exercise and more on being free and realising that there is more to life than body image, weight, exercise and food.

I know that this might not be the best post - but know that you will be ok. Face the fears. Create a life you love and dont let your eating disorder control you anymore!!!


  1. Hi Izzy - I`ve got a bit of a problem with sleeping since I lost weight again and its really getting me down. Every night has become a real chore. I don`t manage to get off to sleep until about 1.00 am - I`m just not feeling tired until then - and then when I do I find I am only sleeping for about half an hour before I wake up again. I feel like I`ve been asleep for ages until I look at the clock and realise but I feel wide awake. This pattern continues throughout the night, with me sleeping only about half an hour to an hour at a time. Last night was particularly bad so I ended up giving up trying to sleep so have been up since about 3.00 am. Trouble is I feel so tired during the day and I do sleep then, but only for an hour or so.
    Have you any ideas why this is happening and what I can do about it? I am supposed to be on bed rest in the afternoons and I do tend to sleep for a short while then, so I can`t really cut this out in the hope of sleeping better at night, or do you think I should?
    Any ideas/advice would be much appreciated.

    1. The only thing that helped my insomnia was getting back up to a healthy weight. Even when I was eating a weight gain diet I was still having trouble sleeping, right up until I reached a healthy BMI. Its almost as if until your body doesnt feel 'at risk' anymore, you can't switch off and fall asleep. Maybe this is because your body needs food more than it needs sleep. Goodluck xxxx

    2. The only thing that helped my insomnia was getting back up to a healthy weight. Even when I was eating a weight gain diet I was still having trouble sleeping, right up until I reached a healthy BMI. Its almost as if until your body doesnt feel 'at risk' anymore, you can't switch off and fall asleep. Maybe this is because your body needs food more than it needs sleep. Goodluck xxxx

    3. When you are underweight there is alot going on in your body and your hormones can be all strange and messed up which can lead to insomnia. And as the person above wrote, the best thing is to eat and to gain weight. When the body feels more balanced and less stressed the better sleep you wil get.
      Try calming things in the evening such as drawing or reading or taking a bath, and eating food like oatmeal in the evening can help you to sleep. Try to avoid food hard to digest or which will give you a huge spike in energy before bed. But also if you cant sleep dont stress over it.... you will get back into a natural sleep routine and feel more tired at some point, but when your bodies signals are all over the place then it can take some time.
      Eat, gain weight and your body will find balance again :)

    4. Thankyou for your advice, I will follow the tips and hope that it helps! It makes sense that the weight issue is the reason for the insomnia.