Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


Friday, August 12, 2016

Mental illness and a chronic illness - advice

Hi Izzy!

First of all I must say that I LOVE your blog and you’re such and inspiration and role model to me 
Last autumn I got diagnosed with bulimia and depression (although I’ve probably had it for a much longer time) and I also have a chronic disease (Localized idiopathic musculoskeletal pain syndrome) in my joints that makes my whole body hurt so damn much and it’s impossible for me to live a normal life. I’m not able to run/exercise at all and I’ve had a lot of issues with my internal organs (my therapist think that this might be one reason to why I’m depressed). I’m taking lots of prescription pain killers, but nothing helps.

I was just wondering how you keep on living a normal life with all of your struggles? How did you choose recovery over Anorexia and self harming (which I also do quite a lot, I have some serious guilt issues..) even though you have your CF? I guess I don’t really see a point inrecovering because of my disease and the fact that I won’t be able to live the life I want anyways..

So, how do you manage to stay happy and positive with your CF? I could really use some tip 

I really hope you’re having a great week and I wish you good luck with your move to Gothenburg!


  I understand your thoughts and feelings exactly, because i have been in the same situation in the past. Thinking, what is the point if i will still have another illness hindering me from living life the way i want anyway. What got me down the most was that i could do everything right with my CF care but still end up very sick, and that just made me feel like it wasnt worth it to recover from my eating disorder, because either way i would be in hospital - or that is how i felt. Because even if i recovered from one illness, i would still have the other. 
  But i was told something very smart by one of my case managers at the eating disorder clinic i went to and that was that 1) I didnt choose either of my illnesses, but i could choose recovery from anorexia/depression/self harm. I cant recover from my Cystic Fibrosis and the only things i can do is take my medication and follow the right routines and live a healthy lifestyle, but i could recover from my eating disorder. I also had to realise that why make my life even harder with 2 (or more ?) illnesses, when i already had one chronic one to deal with. But also to make the connection that my eating disorder was making my CF health care worse which just made me even more sick. But by recovering from my eating disorder my CF care would automaticaly improve somewhat.

One thing i would suggest is going to a therapist or talking to someone about these feelings you feel, because they are understandable. But it can be every helpful to talk to someone who can give you advice and support. But also you have to realise that you can not let your chronic disease control your life or hold you back in life. Even if it might hinder you from doing some things, you can not let that stop you. You can still live a much better life with just that chronic disease rather than struggling with both a physical chronic disease and different mental illnesses. Also think about the fact that you CAN recover from your mental illnesses, even if its tough.

Your life may never be like a movie or you may never have a life the same as your friends because of your disease but that doesnt mean that you can't have a great life anyway and a much happier one when you dont struggle with an eating disorder. Those negative thoughts in your head want to keep you trapped and your eating disorder wants to keep you trapped in the negative spiral and cycle, telling you that things wont ever be better so why bother. But things CAN get better. 

Focus on the positives and focus on what you CAN do. I dont know much about your illness, so i dont know how much it holds you back or in how much pain you may be in. But i am sure there are things you can do and things you can experience anyway! But also rememeber that your eating disorder and not eating enough as well as purging and self harming are most likely making your illness worse and leaving you in both mental pain and even more physical pain, so you are just making things worse, when you could be making things better and easier for you by making the changes and choices necessary to recover.

Try to focus on positives. On what you can do instead of what you can't do. Set up goals and dreams which you know are achieveable and also find your reason to recover. Because recovery is always worth it.

Keep fighting and dont give up. I know its awful to have an illness that holds you back, but it will only hold you back as much as you allow it to hold you back. Think of all the amazing achievements people wth different illnesses or handicaps have achieved - they didnt let their disease or illness stop them from achieving their goals, so dont allow yours to do that for you either!


  1. Hi,
    please please please know that recovery is ALWAYS worth it!!!!! It won't make your chronic desease go away or suddenly turn your life into forever happiness. I know you don't believe it when you're still deep in you ED and depression but I can promise you recovery means getting back to at least (!) a tiny little bit of your peace of mind. I got into anorexia when my Mom died in 2012. I saw her suffering from cancer for a year and literally watched her dying, sitting next to her deathbed every day and night in hospital. My heart was broken and my world fell apart. I fell into depression and serious case of anorexia, age 25. I had to quit my studies at university wihtout a degree, I was drifting away from my life, broke up with my boyfriend, lost friends and was isolated. I only lived for my anorexia and didn't see any reason to recover. What for? It wouldn't bring back my Mom, the only thing in life I was wishing for. I was completely hopeless. It took about 2 years of therapy and hitting rock bottom hard until I finally was able and willing to recover. Some things in life you CAN'T change, even if you really really want to. But that doesn't mean that the rest of your life you have control over has to be just as miserable. There are things you CAN change. And that change is recovery. BUT you have to TRY it. And it's a long and windy road but if at the end there is just a liiiitle bit of happiness for you, isn't it worth it? Life can be shitty enough. We don't need an eating disorder to make it worse. I wish you all the best on your way to the recovery road and for your health!!!!!!!! You can make it <3

    1. Hello!
      Thank you for sharing your experiences! I am so sorry for your lost, may your mother rest in peace <3
      Thank you so much for commenting this post, I really appreciate it! It means a lot to me and I could definitely use the support. I'm not feeling too good at the moment and I think I'm just at the edge of relapsing.. but I will try to see past the negativities and fight for recovery! <3

    2. I am so sorry about your loss, but i am so glad that you are now in a better place. And also thank you for sharing your experience and your very positive and encouraging words, i am sure they will help many. Because as you say, recovery is always worth it. Even if you wont be happy 24/7 or that everything gets better just because you recover, but life will definitely be better without an eating disorder nonetheless!

  2. Thank you both, girls. I am very glad to help. Izzy, I love your blog and reading it every morning has become a part of my breakfast routine :) It's a great place to share our stories and experiences to help each other. Lots of love & happiness to all of you!

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  4. Thku all i really needed these motivational
    Words right now thku uve given me strength x