Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


Monday, August 1, 2016

Living on your own after treatment - how to prepare meals for the week - calorie intake - (answer)

Hey Izzy! Thank you for being soo inspirational. We are the same age but I look up to you anyways :)

I have two questions I don't think you have broughten up, which probably also would be interesting for others to hear your point of view. (I'm so sorry for my bad english btw)

1. I'm now moving to my own home where I live by myself from the treatmentcenter and I keep wondering how I will do with cooking. Here it's just served and for me to eat. But now I have to do the foodstoreshooping, the cooking and planing and everything and I just don't know how to do it right. 

Like should I plan the week what I should buy and cook or is that disorderd? If I don't do this i'm afraid all my days will go spending worrying and planing what to eat. But if I already have a weekplan I know and might not think and plan as much since it's already planned. And what should I do when I plan, should I plan for it to be the most "scary" or what I think I crave or what's healthy? This is so confusing for me honestly... Can I eat the same meal to lunch and dinner and more in one day a week. How much varity does it have to be you think for it to be normal? What is a good weekly plan you think?

Should I also plan my snacks and breakfasts? Because I have a mealplan but with diffrent options on it and I'm thinking to much about what's the "right choise" of afraidness of regreting later what I choosed. I try to vary but it gives anxiety that I have so many options. I'm thinking if it's already plan from my side I don't have stand there and think so much and just do what I planned and stick to it.

  Thank you for this question as this topic is something i havent addressed on my blog. I would say it is individual about what you think works best for you.

For example, i don't have a disorder anymore but when i lived on my own then some weeks i did a huge food shop and then meal prepped for 3-5 days and had my lunches and dinners ready and prepared - and the variation was little due to 1) i was eating the food i liked and 2) economical reasons. And then snacks i just had basic snack foods like bread, crisp bread, oatmeal, fruit, chia seeds etc at home so i ate snacks such as those. And then other weeks i would go shopping every second day and just buy the food i wanted/craved and didnt have any food boxes prepared.. though this wasnt so economical on my part, but at times that was how it was for lunches and dinners - just ate what i craved instead of having all my food at home and then preparing it before eating or already having it prepared.

I would suggest maybe having some type of plan for lunches and dinners...  maybe write down what you plan to make for dinner each day of the week and maybe incorporate 1-2 fear foods/fear meals. You dont have to eat food you dont like, but if food is just a fear food because you are scared of it, then you do need to try to eat that food. Because it is a difference in being scared of a food due to the calorie content or because you think it is unhealthy, and just not liking a food. However some find it easier to face fear foods while with others - so maybe you can go out to eat or invite others over once a week and face fear foods then?

Having a type of food plan for the week i.e knowing what you will eat for lunches and dinners isnt necessarily disordered, it can give you a sense of calm and stop all the thoughts about "what to buy, what to eat etc" and then it is just to cook the food and eat it, and you know you have the ingredients at home. But also dont be scared to difer from that plan if you feel you crave something else. For example if you had planned to eat pasta with sauce and meat, but then you crave potatoes and fish instead then eat that instead. With lunches, you can either do left overs from dinner or plan for them as well. When you live on your own it is easy to cook "too much" i.e who cooks just one portion? XD But it can then give you food boxes for the week, example if you make a big lasagna then you have lunch and dinner for a few days as well maybe.

With variation, i would try to have some form of variation for the sake of getting all your micronutrients, but also the body needs food variation, as well as it being good to not get stuck eating the same all the time. So i would say - have as much variation as your economy allows. Or you could just change simple things such as one week you eat normal potatoes the next week you eat sweet potatoes, 3 days a week you eat rice and 3 days a week you eat pasta, or you change the type of vegetable you eat or the type of protein source (i.e meat/fake meat/beans and lentils/fish etc) you eat.

With snacks, i would buy home the ingredients for all the 3 snack options so that you can then just choose which snack you fancy at the time. This gives you more "freedom" and can lead to intuitive eating in the future if you listen to your body.

I would say - dont think so much about "what is normal" instead try to do what is best for you but what also DEFYS your eating disorder. Make sure to keep your portion sizes the same and eat your regular meals. Just because you are on your own and need to cook meals on your own doesnt mean you can skip those things. Try to not make food a "huge deal" but instead just something part of your life. All your thoughts shouldnt go to food... so if meal prepping and having food boxes ready makes it easier for you and you think less about food then do that. If buying food everyday/second day and eating what you crave works best for you, then do that. If having a weekly food plan with your lunches/dinners already planned then do that :) The focus is to move away from the food obsession and less thoughts about food and more living life and thoughts on other things :)

2. I have now reached a weight in the healthy-rage bmi. But I keep gaining on my mealplan. My treater says it will evens out on this with time but it's like between 2500-3000 calories and I keep gaining on it which make me think it's to high for me. I'm still not allowed to work out and i'm very quiet daily. Should I reduce my mealplan to a more normal amount (but still healthy of course) so my weight finally evens out? I don't wanna keep gaining and gaining but I don't think my weight will evens out on this amount of calories when i'm this quiet...

Thank you so much again :)

I would keep eating the amount you should eat. Naturally when you live on your own/begin to live life more you begin to be more active. I.e when you were in treatment you were most likely just resting, but now when you live on your own you will do food shopping, maybe some walking to the transport system/car/walking to places, cleaning the house, doing things during the day somedays etc and that should balance things out. But also your body needs time to adapt. Your case manager/treater should know what they are talking about and if after a few weeks the weight gain hasnt stopped then maybe a change in meal plan has to be made, but dont do it yourself. Especially not when you are beginning to live on your own and prepare your own meals and portion sizes, because it is so easy to eat less than you need just because you are on your own. Keep following your meal plan and trust your case manage, your weight should balance out eventually. But also remember if you have just hit the lowest healthy BMI range, then that might not be your healthy weight or set point. For example i was declared healthy with a BMI of 19 and i mainted that weight for a few months but then when i began strength training i gained weight and maintained a BMI of 20-21 for a few years which is where my body had its set point. So the lowest healthy weight isnt always where the body settles. Give your body some time to adapt, and try to focus more on life now and not abusing your freedom. Keep fighting the eating disorder thoughts and defying your eating disorder so that you can maintain your treatment and begin to live life the way you want to :)


  1. hi Izzy, i have a similar sort of question to the comment above. i've now reached a healthy bmi too. i want to continue eating to my meal plan and eating plenty, but now i am almost afraid to, even though i really, really want to stick to it (it's about 2000-2500 cals at a guess I never counted.). My fear is of course that I am going to keep on gaining if I stick to my plan. Im worried that my metabolism is damaged because I still gained weight the past few months even though I didn't give up exercise and continued going to college etc. My mam keeps on telling me to try and keep on eating the same , and that it WILL settle down - i want so much to believe her, but I'm afraid to! I would love to hear your advice. I am working really hard on accepting my new body,even though i cant say i like it as it is now, but i know that is the ed voice talking. Please could you give me some advice on what to do next? thank you so much. <3 xxx

  2. Hi Izzy - I`ve noticed you`ve been having oat milk rather than soy milk and I was wondering if this was more nutritious/ tastes better? I am still trying to find an alternative milk to dairy that suits me and that I like, and I think I have seen oat milk in the shops here. At the moment I am having almond milk but find it rather "watery" so knowing what oat milk is like would be helpful.
    Also could you tell me if coconut oil tastes strongly of coconuts - ie it flavours the food that you cook with it? I`m not a great fan of coconut but would like to try the oil as I can`t tolerate the usual olive/vegetable/rapeseed/corn oil and to be honest am struggling with being able to find a suitable one at all.
    Thanks for your help :)

  3. Thank you so much for your great answer, i'm very thankful! Have a nice day :)