Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Monday, August 29, 2016

First day back at University

Monday afternoon, and i feel like i am a whole year older - in just one day!

Not that today has been stressful or anything like that, but when i am sitting here and reflecting over my day and my life i just feel like i have aged emmensly in the past 72 hours. Daring to speak to new people and being the first one to make contact, daring to ask questions and daring to be myself. Of course i cant say that i am proud over the fact that i choose to not join the social activity after school because i "felt the stress of school work and wanted to begin directly"... which of course settled my school stress which had begun to creep up, but when i think back over it i realise that the 2 hours i spent this evening beginning on a school assignment, i could have done tomorrow when i have a 3 hour break between lectures.... But i just couldnt let go of that school anxiety that creeps up when i dont begin with work Directly. Oh well, hopefully tomorrow i will join in on the school/group activitiy!

I also feel so much older because this is my second term at University, so all the university information given about different lectures and tests and obligatory seminars arent something new or scary to me, unlike those who are new to university. So i feel so much more mature and calm compared to those who have never studied at uni before. It's a nice feeling, hahah. And not to mention that my sister has moved to the place where i studied at university in spring so she has been asking me about lots of advice about buses, places to go, the university, how to find places etc and that suddenly makes me feel like the older sister - even if my sister is now studying her masters and i am only just starting on my first year of my bachelors. (Wow, doesnt that make me sound all fancy and grown up when i say that i am studying for my bachelors!)

Anyway, today has been a good day. Lots of information, but it hasnt been overwhelming information, though i must admit that the course plan sure is "a hell of a worklot" where we have pages to read and assignments to begin with right away. Yup, my adrenaline levels rose and i wanted to begin working DIRECT when they said that. Which lead to me not going to the first social event, but tomorrow hopefully.

It feels good to start university again, but of course... i miss the simpleness of my job and there are still some mixed feelings about all my actions in life at the moment. But for the majority of the time i feel happy with how life is going and how my life will develop! Focusing on the positives instead of those small "i dont know what i am doing or what i want in life" thoughts that creep up late at night.  It is the thoughts at night that usually mess me up the most... those thoughts are never my "true thoughts". THey are just the tired ones that come from overthinking and i need to learn to not let them control me or mess me up, and i am getting better at it. Focusing on all the day time positivity and positive thoughts and not those few negative and low whens which i get when i overthink.

Life is good. Life feels great.

Feels amazing to write that and truly mean it!!!


  1. Yay! Starting university again is so exciting! I love the feeling of starting a new semester! (I'm a nerd.) I'm studying from home now, but it is still so good. I love it just as much. Maybe even more because it means that I can go at my own pace :) Try not to stress about assignments and stuff! Remember to enjoy yourself every now and again. The classwork isn't going anywhere, but you might not get another great opportunity to do something again!

    I'm actually getting into blogging and blog reading again, so I can't wait to read along! :)

  2. Sounds like your first day went really well! I`m glad things are working out for you :)
    Try not to let the stress of school work get you , I understand your need to want to make a start on things straight away but if you can possibly plan your study time - like do it when you have a study break/free period - you will be making so much more of your time and not feel like you are missing out on other things. Yes, study time is important but so is your free time. If you are going to get through this course you need to pace yourself and that way the anxiety won`t have chance to build up because you will have created a workable balance between study time and free time - and you really need your free time to unwind and recharge ready for your next day.
    Good to know that your first day was a success and you are so happy! Have an awesome week discovering all the new things on offer!

  3. PS - what are you studying first?

  4. Yay for a strong start back :) I have an idea about your dilemma regarding school work vs. social life - if you are feeling stressed about getting to school work right away, but also stressed about making friends and being more social than last term, why don't you invite some classmates to start a study group? Two birds with one stkne! You could have a standing date for study sessions (like 2 hours or something directly after classez), and then after the time is up you guys can all hang out just socially, or make a traditikn of going for coffee or food or whatever after. It would be a great way to strengthen your studies AND you social life simultaneously, and allow you to be proactive about addressing your biggest sources of stress, too. Could be a really fun and helpful idea!

    1. Yikes, sorry about all the typos there, I should have proofread before posting!

  5. This sounds like a great idea!