Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


Wednesday, August 31, 2016

Feeling panicked about your future? Not knowing what you want to do or what you are good at?

Do you ever feel panicked about your future? Not know what you want to do or what you are good at? Or it feels like everyone else has their life together, everyone has goals and dreams and you are just sort of "fumbling around with no direction or knowldge about what you want to do". Know that you arent alone in these feelings. Even people who know what they want to do or seem to have their life together still have moments of panic and crisis when they ask themselves "Is this really what i want to do? How do i go from A to B? Is this the right path for me....." Of course, if someone sort of knows what they want to do those panicked moments arent as bad or as often (i would imagine) compared to someone who doesnt have any motivation or passion for their future.

In todays society there is huge pressure at a young age to know what you want to do with your life. When i was 15/16 i had to choose which focus/course program i wanted to go for the last 3 years of high school.... i had no idea what i wanted to do in the future. I wanted to do the natural science program but the workload scared me and i didnt think i could handle it (as i was only just recovered... and still struggling with some things), and so i choose the social science program instead. Of course it wasnt until i graduated that i realised i should have choosen the natural science program to benefit me now, when in university.... but i couldnt have known that back then. Just like when i was given a bad grade in my second year  maths course because the teacher was an awful teacher, i was told to appeal against the teacher and talk to the principle... of course i never did that as i didnt think it was so important. Now of course i wish i had done that and gotten the grade i deserved because it would have given me extra points for university, but back then university still felt so far off, When you are still in high school people expect you to have your life together and to know what you want to do - people always asking which university you will go to, what you will study with, what is your 5 year plan etc and it is SUPER stressful.

I am someone who sort of knows what i want to do in the future. It isnt crystal clear, but i dont think it is for anyone. I know that i want to work with nutrition, health and well being/balance, mental health, social media and also with exercise.... that is what i know i want to work with. But i still doubt myself at times and wonder, is this really what i want to do? But i know deep down that it is... i love what i am studying and do research in my own freetime, as well as i love helping people, i love using social media, i love helping guide people to health and happiness and that is what i want to continue doing in the future even if i may do it in different ways then i.e less instagram and blogging and more personal contact as well as helping with actual meal plans and such.. who knows.

It is not easy to know what you want to do in the future..... should you choose something you are good at? A hobby you enjoy? or what your parents expect you to do?  I would suggest study something or work towards something you are passionate about. It might take time and it wont o as you had thought out - it never does! But if you have a goal or a dream, work towards that. Because even if you realise 5 or 10 years later that you are on the wrong path, you can change path again... it is never too late. But find something you want to work with in the future or something you want to study.

Some say start studying directly after hihgh school even if you dont know what you want to study, and i can understand that. Because if you do have some sort of plan of going to university it can be good to get into the university life and study something that might be beneficial to you... even if its just a maths course, business course or journalism etc it can be good to atleast test University, and if you are still undecided then maybe get a job or travel to get more experience which will help you in the future. But if you are very unknown or tired of studying then i would suggest working or volunteer work so that you get more life experience and feel like you are doing something. But also try new hobbies, step outside of your comfort zone. Dont panic too much about the future or what you "should be doing" or what "everyone else is doing", instead make the best out of your own life.
Image result for panic about future

You DONT need to have your whole life together at the age of 20... not even at the age of 30 or 40, even if it may be a benefit. But you can start studying again when you are 40, you can get a new job when you are 50, you can change life paths at 35, you can start studying a new bachelors even though you already have a bachelors in another area. It is ok to change your path in life, dont feel like you have to have your whole life together or have some type of 5 year plan with everything planned out.

Forget about what your friends are doing or what your family tell you/expect you to do. .Ask yourself... what do YOU want to do. This is your life. If you want to work, save money and travel.... do that. If you want to study something that family dont approve of - study that, because it is YOUR life.

My best suggestion is to do something anyway. Whether it is work, travel or study or even take different types of classes like photography classes, cooking classes, computer classes, music classess etc Something that sparks your interest and maybe gets you thinking about what you enjoy, what you are good at or what you want to do.

Things change in life and your path is not a straight one. But dont panic so much about the future, it is scary and unknown but YOU have the power to control your own future and your own path. YOU make the choices and you can steer your own direction - remember that.

It is easy to sit in the sofa day in and day out and wish you had a job or wish you knew what to do in the future or jealous of everyone who has their life together, but that wont improve your own situation. Instead ACTION and doing things will improve your situation!!! Sitting and wishing wont get you far, even if having plans, goals and dreams are important - it is the action bit and doing something that is the most important.

You dont have to have your life together or know what you want to do right now, but atleast do something!!! Dont compare your life to others either.

It may look like i have my life together - somewhat - and know what i want to do, but i still panic and freak out and question whether i am on the right path in life. It happens, but if you have a passion then you will find a way and get back onto the right path eventually!!

1 comment:

  1. I'm 33 and still have these moments, haha. I definitely did not know what I wanted (or what I was capable of) in high school. I ended up floundering pretty badly after I graduated, and I wish I had known that ANY decision is better than no decision, that i could try things out for a while and see what was right before committing to a path. In today's world, nobody is locked in to their futures anymore. In fact, most people now have 2-4 careers during their life span, instead of just one. Today's work climate makes it easier to start new, change jobs, change paths, and while this can be scary it can also be a blessing. More adults are returning to school, more people are opting out of the 40-year career plan. It's okay to not be sure. We can't control the future anyway, all we can do is live today in a way that nurtures a better tomorrow. Things have a way of becoming clearer as you gain age, experience, and wisdom. I wish I hadn't felt so much panic as a teen trying to map out a life plan. It was a lot of wasted energy. Education can be cripplingly expensive and so it's okay to wait until you are sure. I'm actually planning to return to school myself now because I feel comfortable in my satisfaction with the path I've chosen the past several years. I was in my mid 20s when I went to college, and I was one among many mature students. It's okay. Nobody has it ALL figured out. Nobody. It's part of life's journey, to learn and grow, whether that is in a professional, emotional, social, physical, familial,spritual, etc sense.