Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: lifewithoutanorexia@hotmail.com

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Thursday, August 11, 2016

Comparing yourself with siblings

Comparing yourself with others in general is common when you are sick or in recovery. However its even easier to begin comparing yourself with your siblings as they are so close to you and you see them everyday. But also that you might eat meals with them.
  
It might be your brother who only eats junk food yet is still as skinny as a stick, or it might be your sister who eats a lot less than you, or has decided to go on a diet.

Its easy to look at what others are eating and compare it to yourself, wonder why your sister only eats 2 potatoes when you have to eat 5 or why you have to eat 6 times per day and the rest of your family only eats 3 times per day.
 I did this all the time. I compared what i ate to my sister all the time, and her way of eating triggered me alot. She ate very little (she is the type of person who can forget to eat or be so busy that she doesnt have time to eat, or skips breakfast ebcause shes not hungry. So now im teaching her to bring snacks with her and to try to eat every 2-4 hours and she says she is feeling alot better and likes that im teaching her about nutrition and reminding her that she needs to eat breakfast even if shes not super hungry.). Also my sister was going to the gym several times a week while i was a day patient, and that alone triggered me. But then when she came home and ate little for dinner and i had to eat more than her and i had basically eaten double the amount she would eat in a day and i still had 1 more meal to go.

But this type of comparing doesnt work, it doesnt help matters either... just because your sister eats little doesnt mean that you have to as well.
  What is so good with eating little? I prefer being able to eat loads and not have to worry about calories or how much i eat, but eating what my body needs. I much rather eat 3000kcal a day because thats what my body needs than eat 1200 because everyone else is.
 Also, if you need to gain weight you do need to eat alot. Its as simple as that. Trying to cheat and eat less wont help you.
   You cant change how others eat or what they choose to eat, you can only change the way you react to it. Whether it triggers you or not.
  Because it DOESNT have to trigger you.


Recently my sister has realised that she cant really eat gluten and that she might be gluten intolerant, so while we were in the summer cottage my sister didnt eat any bread, pasta or the pancakes which i made for the buffet. And at first i got this weird feeling in my stomach, Why was she not eating bread? Should i not eat bread then?
  But then suddenly i realise, we are 2 different people. Just because she isnt eating bread or pancakes doesnt mean that i shouldnt, and so i enjoyed my egg sandwiches and my pancakes. She might not eat those thiungs anymore, but that shouldnt stop me from eating them. We have different bodies, different goals and if i like bread, im still going to eat it.

So you DONT have to let those things trigger you, change your thoughts around it. So it realisticly. There will always be someone on a diet and someone eeating less than you,. But that shouldnt make you feel bad or make you want to restrict, find a way to cope with those thoughts.

And then theres comparing of size... remember that even if you are siblings you can be different in size... like my sister and I, we arent similiar at all. Or i mean, you can see some type of resemblance, but in general... we look quite different.
   Dont compare yourself to your sister or brother, that way your body shape is or the way your healthy body looks is the way it looks. You cant change that... not if you want to be healthy anyway. Comparing of size isnt a good thing, it doesnt bring you any good.
  Focus on yourself and your goals!



(Post from 2014)

8 comments:

  1. Hey Izzy, just a random question, if you don't want you don't have to answer it. I was just wondering if you buy food that you eat on your own?
    you are my idol, Izzy!! <3

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    1. Yes, since i moved out in January i have bought my own food, and then when i moved home again i have continued to buy my own food and i also eat my meals on my own unless we have planned to have a family dinner.

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  2. It's a bit harder when your sister is the skinny one. My sister eats a lot more than I do but she is TINY. I, on the other hand, have my mom's genes and have to watch what I eat. It's always been that way and only by watching what I eat do I stay slim. I know about a healthy set point and that I should accept the extra weight gain and all sorts but it is harder, without a doubt, being the bigger sister or friend and eating less at the same time. Izzy, you're quite lucky that you have such a fast metabolism and need more calories in general. And you're naturally slim. But I bet your sister feels envious of you as I do of my sister.

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  3. Izzy, this is a serious question - do you really think that a healthy adult person can survive and maintain with 1200 kcal? Just curious...

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    1. A persons body can survive barely on that amount but that doesnt mean that the body or mind of that person is healthy. For example the metabolism can shut down and different systems in the body shut down due to the calorie restriction so a person is still alive and functioning despite eating so little, but just because they survive doesnt mean that their body is healthy... if that makes sense. I.e the body can adapt to very little calories but doesnt mean that the body is healthy.

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    2. Just a side note - I read in a few books that the Nazi concentration camps served prisoners around 1200 cals a day. And you see how that worked out....

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  4. When I was seeing the dietician she worked out I needed to have 1500 cals a day to maintain my weight. could you advise me how many I would need to gain? I realise this is tricky but if you could give me a rough guideline it would be really helpful.

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  5. On the flip side to this I want to add that whilst its hard not to compare yourself to your siblings, its not easy being the one compared to either. It carries a huge weight of feelings of responsibility for another persons actions, thoughts and feelings. Not to mention their wellbeing. you kind of feel that all that is in your hands because they are comparing themselves to you, what if you haven't got it right after all? All my life my elder sister has compared herself to me, and believe me, that weighs heavy at times. Why should she want to be more like me when she is a beautiful person in her own right with her own values and qualities if she would only believe in herself.
    Sibling comparison is tough alright.

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