I need a reason, I need to understand Why I need gain weight, what will be more easy? The thoughts about food will not be part of me? I will like my body? I will be "normal"? What changes in reality in my life without being a number and my body?
I hope you can answer. Kiss
hi Izzy, i have a similar sort of question to the comment above. i've now reached a healthy bmi too. i want to continue eating to my meal plan and eating plenty, but now i am almost afraid to, even though i really, really want to stick to it (it's about 2000-2500 cals at a guess I never counted.). My fear is of course that I am going to keep on gaining if I stick to my plan. Im worried that my metabolism is damaged because I still gained weight the past few months even though I didn't give up exercise and continued going to college etc. My mam keeps on telling me to try and keep on eating the same , and that it WILL settle down - i want so much to believe her, but I'm afraid to! I would love to hear your advice. I am working really hard on accepting my new body,even though i cant say i like it as it is now, but i know that is the ed voice talking. Please could you give me some advice on what to do next? thank you so much. xxx
I would listen to your mother and keep eating according to your meal plan. Calories are not the enemy. And even if you have a healthy BMI it might not be your healthy set point and your body is trying to find its healthy set point. Give your body some time to adapt and to settle and try to focus less on the scale and calories and more on life, full recovery and the freedom of life. You wont keep gaining and gaining weight, your body should settle and even if you did then you know how to lose weight so thats not a problem. Of course this sounds very contradictory to write, but when i was in treatment i had a case manager say to me. "Yyou know what it is like to be underweight and you know how to lose weight, but you can barely remember what it is like to be a normal weight so why not try it. And if i dont like it.... well i know how to lose weight so i can just lose the weight again". And in a way that helped me, because i thought... "fine ill gain the weight for others and then just lose it again"... turns out i liked my body and liked how i felt when i was a healthy weight!!!
Also remember that your weight fluctuates, for example from one day to another i can weigh 2-3kg more or less just due to water and food weight or due to stress and water retention. Try to not focus on the scale, instead focus on those thoughts and feares you need to over come. Dont listen to your eating disorder, because it is your ED telling you that you need to eat less, but if you do that then you are just holding on your eating disorder. Instead you need to defy that voice in your head and do the opposite i.e if your eating disorder wants you to compensate with exercise or to eat less or skip a meal etc then you need to do the opposite, because if you listen to that voice then you aren't fighting your eating disorder or letting go, you are just holding on. So even if it is tough and scary, that is part of recocvery and full recovery.
Follow your meal plan, avoid the scale for a while and focus on life and see the enjoyment in eating and know that you are fueling your body properly. Give your body time to adapt and remember dont focus blindly on the scale. The scale is irrelevant, the important thing is a healthy body and a healthy mindset regardless of what it says on the scale.
In recovery it is all about blindfaith and sort of stumbling in the dark, but it will get easier.... just keep fighting your eating disorder and have that "Blindfaith" that things will be ok :)
Hi Izzy - I`ve noticed you`ve been having oat milk rather than soy milk and I was wondering if this was more nutritious/ tastes better? I am still trying to find an alternative milk to dairy that suits me and that I like, and I think I have seen oat milk in the shops here. At the moment I am having almond milk but find it rather "watery" so knowing what oat milk is like would be helpful.
I just prefer oat milk, thats the main reason. But also there is a specific oatmilk made for warm drinks which i love and is great in oatmeal as well. But also i do consume soy products and at times soy beans so i find that it would just be too much soy if i drank soy milk as well. I dont really like nut milks because as you say they are very watery and dont work well in warm drinks or in oatmeal or such.
Certain oatmilk doesnt work well in warm drinks either though... hahahha, but the one i buy is specific for that and its a swedish brand i think so not sure if you can buy it in the UK unfortunatly. But keep trying different milk alternatives and you might find one that works... or try making your own almond milk, its not hard and then you can sweeten it however you like :)