To keep it short: I am not 100% recovered, as I have still some disordered thoughts and behaviours. The most "important" one: I don't eat before a certain time in the evening, this gives me a feeling of control, helps to deal with anxiety, ... some days I have to eat earlier (birthday for example) and then I am okay with it and don't struggle very much. So I could change this behaviour, but I don't want to, because the negative impacts/effects are not that bad, so I am kind of not motivated enough to change something. But what if this is also just the "sick part" of me, that tells me I don't want to? Its hard to explain, I mean I could, but it's like I get comfortable with this behaviour and arrange with. Should I overthink my "comfort-zone", should I find more arguments against this behaviour..? I'm confused.
I am so sorry it has taken so long to reply and that i missed your comment in my previous post. Regarding those habits, if they are habits due to your eating disorder and they make you hold onto your eating disorder then i would try my best to get rid of them. Because even if they might feel like just habit, if they hold you back. You shouldnt need that sense of control regarding food and eating times, instead it should be more natural and not so controlled. For example if you usually eat dinner at 6pm but are hungry at 5pm, you shouldnt just sit and wait until 6pm because you think you can't eat before that time. If that is the case for you, then it is still your eating disorder controlling you and something you should work to get rid of.