Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Thursday, July 28, 2016

Wanting recovery for yourself

"When a person is determined to help themselves. There is nothing that can stop them." - Nelson Mandela

I read this quote today (i hope it is the right source?) and i thought, "that is very true". Because first off... if a person doesnt want help - doesnt matter what type of help - then they wont get better. If a person doesnt want to get better themselves and help themselves, then it doesnt matter how much support is offered to them or how much people try to help or make them do things, in the end it wont make much difference because the person doesnt want to get better themselves.

But when a person does want to get better, then all that extra help will make such a difference because they can accept it and want it. They can use the support in the best way possible to make the best choices for themselves and their recovery.

I didnt fully recover from an eating disorder until i wanted and decided to. Treatment was there to support me and to keep me alive, but until i began to utilize their help and accept it because i knew i needed it, then i began to get better. But all the hard mental work was done by myself.

Mindset is everything. Like the quote "either you can or you can't, either way you are right" - basically if you think you can't, well then you can't. But if you think you can, then you can.  You have to believe you can recover and you have to want it. Even if it feels far off or maybe a little impossible, you still have to believe that you can... because if you give up hope and start thinking things will never get better or you will always have certain thoughts or life will always be this way... well then you begin to settle and think it is impossible and stop fighting. But if you always decide to keep improving and keep believing and making changes then it is possible.

Want recovery for yourself. Think of all the reasons to recover - whether it be from an eating disorder, depression, anxiety problems, bipolar etc

Think about what you want in the future and what you want to experience fully - travelling, studying, working, making friends, new movies and music, changing and growing, new experiences, parties and events, your own children (if you want them), a family (if you want that), to be happy and to have good memories and not just a bunch of bad memories.

Decide that you want recovery and are worth recovery and most of all, that you want it for YOU and YOUR life!


  1. Good things happen when you least expect them - and unexpected kindness!! :)
    my pc has been playing up something chronic just lately - freezing up,flashing - you name it, its been a pain. So I said to my partner this morning that I thought it needed wiping or something and he said he`d look at it after work.
    Well I just got a text from him saying he`s brought me a new one!! and its coming tomorrow! I really wasn't expecting this, its so very kind of him to do this and I`m over the moon! a brand new pc!
    today started off pretty blah - in all honesty not deemed to be a good day but its amazing what can happen when you least expect it - and I definitely wasn't expecting this! I wouldn't say I`m material minded but this has made me very happy and very grateful for his kindness.
    so good things do happen. no matter how your day is you never know whats round the corner!

  2. This is so very true. Unless you have the mindset to want something then everything else doesn't really help.
    I don`t know what happened to me for everything to just suddenly "click" but that's what it felt like - almost as if I had woken up and was seeing the real picture for the first time. I must admit I have lost some of that at the moment and am not in the right place right now, but I am optimistic and trying to get it back.

  3. So true! Change only happens when we are on board. That was definitely the case for my ED and my addiction. I went to therapy and support groups and nutritionists and detoxes and rehabs, many many times over. But in both cases, it wasn't until I had hit bottom and decided enough is enough, I don't want to live like this anymore. When I became willing, 100%, with no reservations, that's when my life started to change. There is an ebb and flow with willingness sometimes, but I had to keep coming back to it, over and over again. It becomes easier to stay willing once results start happening. It's a positive feedback loop, the more work I put in, the more changes happen, the better I feel, and the more work I want to put in.

  4. I can really support this post! If someone doesn't want to get the help in order to get healthy, even the best therapists, doctors and so on won't make a real and lasting (!) change. However, there is something that irritates me a bit. To keep it short: I am not 100% recovered, as I have still some disordered thoughts and behaviours. The most "important" one: I don't eat before a certain time in the evening, this gives me a feeling of control, helps to deal with anxiety, ... some days I have to eat earlier (birthday for example) and then I am okay with it and don't struggle very much. So I could change this behaviour, but I don't want to, because the negative impacts/effects are not that bad, so I am kind of not motivated enough to change something. But what if this is also just the "sick part" of me, that tells me I don't want to? Its hard to explain, I mean I could, but it's like I get comfortable with this behaviour and arrange with. Should I overthink my "comfort-zone", should I find more arguments against this behaviour..? I'm confused.

    1. I think its ok to still have routines, things you are comfortable with and this doesn't mean that you are still sick. for example, I don`t eat my evening meal until 6.00pm and this is because its the time that fits for both of us, and its been that way for as long as I can remember. I have got used to eating at that that time, just as you do say at mid-day - lunchtime. I don`t see any harm in that and I have no plans to change it. I guess its only a problem if you are doing something you wish you could stop or change, but fear is stopping you. we all like routines, we get comfortable with them and some of us like to have an ordered life. I don`t think that makes a person sick.
      No doubt Izzy can explain/answer better but those are my thoughts.

  5. Thanks for this post. I so agree with what you said. So young and so full of wisdom. I spent 35 years with anorexia, being really severe and being half recovered. This last year I finally made an effort to want recovery for me not just for my family. I want to be happy with who I am and enjoy everything life has to offer. It's like someone turned on the light. I would say I am about 80% recovered. I'm so happy to find the real me. Because I was so young when I was hit by this I've never known what its like to be really happy. Little things now make me so happy right now. I'm in love with life and it's exciting to discover new things and who I am.