Life without Anorexia
My motto is 'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'
I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.
I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.
I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.
I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at: firstname.lastname@example.org
Tuesday, July 5, 2016
Being judged for eating too healthy? And eating being judged because of a past eating disorder
I also have a question for you, I'm recovered since 4 years and I have been following you since I was sick myself, because I'm very interested of peoples development and our journeys are quite alike. I had activity problems as you and after I got declared healthy I still struggled a lot with training and eating enough. I got into that fitness lifestyle just as you did and it was not healthy. Now I have gotten out of that but I still eat healthy foods like you are, but I don't have problems with eating junk food and it doesn't give me anxiety or bad thoughts. I love the food I'm eating and my energy levels never drops because I eat so good foods for the body. Though now my friend is questioning me and thinks that I'm only eating diet food and not eating varied, although I consider my diet very varied and healthy since I eat so much different foods but I choose slow carbs, healthy fats and mostly lean protein, as well as sometimes eating whatever is served and having treats as well. She thinks that it's sick that I can choose to make banana ice-cream or a bowl of yoghurt with a nice muesli and fruits instead of a bag of candy or whatever. Though I really don't like the taste of candy as it's so so sweet and feels so chemical. Then I much rather give myself fruit salad or whatever that I actually enjoy and it fills me up and gives me energy for longer than just 30 min sugarrush and then downfall completely. I consider it to be a lifestyle and I really really like it. It suits me so good and I feel strong mentally and physically because I get so much good energy, rather than only eating like pizza/pasta dishes and feel very sluggish and not feeling full after a meal, or just uncomfortable fullness. Is it my mind playing tricks with me and is she right telling me I'm not healthy or can one actually choose to have this type of foods and be fully healthy? I consider myself healthy but I also get her point as she thinks that normal people doesn't care what they eat, they just eat. What do you think about this? Sorry for a very long post lol =)
I am sorry it has taken so long to reply to your message, but i thought i would reply in a post as what you write is the same for me. I.e judgd by what i eat and told that i am still sick because i at times choose a salad instead of a pizza, or because i rather eat oatmeal or a fruit salad than to eat chips as a snack.
The honest truth is that
1) Because of your past with an eating disorder you will always be judged somewhat based on what you eat.
2) What people think is normal is different i.e what i eat is normal for me, but can seem far too healthy or very weird for people living in different parts of the world or who have different lifestyles than me.
3) People often think that when someone has recovered from an eating disorder they always need to choose chocolate before fruit, or pizza before salad or chips before popcorn etc. But recovery is about eating the food you want. I personally think it is more disordered if you eat things just because you think you "have to" or constantly trying to prove you are healthy, that in itself isnt healthy.
When you are recovered you should be able to listen to your body and eat what your body needs, and that means that somedays you want oatmeal, other times you want fruit and other times you want bread with cheese. And somedays you might want to snack on chocolate and other times on vegetables and dip, it varies. The important thing is that you listen to what YOU want to eat and what your body needs and not being influenced by lowest calories or healthiest or what you should eat, but instead what it is you want to eat. But of course having a balance and moderation is important as well. I mean some weeks all i want is chocolate after every meal, and in the long term that might not be the healthiest but most often i eat some form of sweet or chocolate everyday as that is what i enjoy and makes me feel happy!
It is also important to be honest with yourself about why you make the food choices you do. I.e when you go out to eat do you choose the salad because it is the lowest calorie or because you think it is the healthiest or because a salad is actually what you want? Being honest with yourself is what is important, people will always have their opinions. But if you can be true to yourself and listen to your body then it doesnt matter so much other peoples opinions. (Of course, this is very individual. For example when you are recovering and dont have such a great portion control/image, then maybe you need to listen to your family or friends who tell you that your portions are very small even if you think they are normal.)
Everyone thinks different about food and what is normal. For me when i choose what to eat or buy in the store i base it off of what i am craving, what i like, what i want to eat and of course my budget, hahaha. But things such as what is healthiest or lowest in calorie, i couldnt care less about those things. I choose food based off of what i like and those foods include lots of vegetables, fruit, bread, nuts and seeds, tofu and soy meat as well as lots of potatoes. I have grown up in a family and with a lifestyle where those things have always been part of my diet (or well, the foods eaten at home with my mum), so for me it is not strange to have those items as 80% of my diet and then when i crave foods like ice cream, crisps/popcorn, biscuits or cakes i buy them or make them. For me that is the way i have grown up and what i have been taught and also the lifestyle i live now, but for others they have grown up eating chips, pizza, burgers and chocoalte everyday, so for them it isnt an "obvious" thing to have vegetables and fruit at home, and anyone who does eat that way is seen as "too healthy" or obsessed with being healthy.
It is about being honest with yourself. Because people will never know your real intentions, only you can know. And if you feel best with the way you eat and live your life, then keep living that way, because in the end it is your life and you make the choices. But also dont let your past define your present or future, as mentioned earlier... because of your past, many will judge you based on what you eat and at times it can be hard to escape. I cant escape it because of my blog so often i am told i eat too healthy when i am just eating what is normal for me and my family as well as what is at home and enjoyed!!
A very long post, but maybe others have some advice which i have forgotten :)