Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Sunday, June 19, 2016

What I ate Sunday

I've been asked to do food diaries more frequently so here is today's intake.

Though remmeber to not compare yourself to anyone else.  Not online or in real life.  Everyone needs dofferent amounts of energy, and also intuitive eating is different each day :)

So today's intake based on circumstances and hunger!

Breakfast: big bowl of muslie with oatmilk & 2 slices of bread with spread and sun dried tomatoe hummus.

Lunch: left over aubergine lasagna, salad & hummus & some of the raw food cheesecake.

Snack : Fast food vegan bbq burger & small salad ^-^

Dinner : lots of lentils in tomatoes sauce, soy pieces, mung beans & 2 small falafel burgers & lots of nutrional yeast.
Dessert : fruit (watermelon, strawberries, mango)

Night snack : 2 portions oatmeal mixed with coconut oil and date syrup and spirulina. Topped with raisins, nuts and oat milk . And then got cravings for cabbage with nutrional yeast and salt! ^-^

So that's today's intake based on what I was craving and what was available to me :)

These are supposed to "inspire " in a sense and not lead to comparison. However I rarely remmeber what I eat during a whole day and somedays I eat lots and somedays I eat less and I don't feel like posting food those days as they aren't a real representation of how I eat, hahaha.  But even these food diaries aren't 100% accurate, I mean there's tea, coffee and handfuls of nuts and strawberries throughout the day which I don't feel the need to write out.

Also note, I love ending my day with oatmeal mixed with spirulina and coconut oil! It's like I feel my insides thanking me, hahaha. Taking green powder makes me feel like some type of health guru/inspirational, hahaha.


  1. Cool day! :) Do you just add coconut oil to your oatmeal? How come? I have never seen anyone doing this... does coconut oil give a great taste or more like a texture?! :)
    Thanks, just curious! :) Eve

    1. Our coconut oil is usually melted as we keep it in rooms temperature, so once the oatmeal is ready i.e in the microwave then i just take a tablespoon of melted coconut oil and mix it in with other things like sweetner of choice and flax seeds and spirulina :) I add it because i like the taste and also for extra calories.

    2. Awesome thing! :) Thanks!

  2. I have some questions I was hoping Lizzie or some caring strangers could please answer. :) I know there's plenty of helpful blog posts on these topics but atm I feel like I need a more personal response.

    1. Unless I have five meals a day (brekky, morn-snack, lunch, arvo-snack, dinner) food thoughts completely consume my mind. I just can't stop thinking about food. Even if I've had a massive breakfast and lunch is in an hour, without morning tea I just can't stop thinking about what I /could/ be having. Even when I do have five meals, food is always on my mind, just not as bad. It's like my body has become obsessed and can't wait for its next feed. Before I started eating decent meals I was restricting to 1200 cals a day, often I didn't go over 1000. Now I aim for 2000 cals, and if I have dessert that normally takes me over 2000. I'm eating normally so I don't understand why I'm having such obsessive thoughts. When will they stop?!?

    2. I currently weigh a few kilograms under 50kg (50 is my goal atm) and I don't restrict like I used to anymore, so I'm having pastry and sugar and all those fear foods. My stomach is poochy now, and I'm okay with the way it is at the moment, but it's only the lower part of my stomach that's sticking out. Because of this, I'm scared that lots of visceral fat is forming. I know how unhealthy too much v.fat can be and I don't want to get sick because of it (ironic, ik). I wouldn't be so worried if it was flabby fat that I could jiggle; I can imagine that redistributing. But my poochy stomach is quite hard, so I think it's visceral fat and I can't see that redistributing. I don't really know what my question is, I just want some reassurance I suppose. Thank you. <3

    1. Ugh I'm so sorry, Izzy. I called you Lizzie.

    2. With the food obsession most often goes away when 1) You eat enough i.e you mightneed to eat more than 2000 ? And 2) when you begin doing things in life, whether its school, work or a hobby and trying to socialize more. If you are just at home and sort of waiting around to eat again it is easy to just focus on food and almost have a count down of when you can eat again. When instead, eating should be part of your life and not your whole life... and definitely not the only thing in your mind.
      So i would suggest maybe you can start a hobby or do something/focus on other things? Something to get your mind off of food, but also to realise that if you eat a snack later than normal or decide to eat morning snack and lunch together that is ok as well.... as you get closer to a normal weight and more normal and intuitive eating then there is no time when you should eat, instead it is your body that tells you. So there shouldnt be that "count down to the next meal" type of thinking.
      When your thoughts begin to focus on food try to do something else, something that gets you thinking about other things. Maybe cleaning, drawing, suduko, word searches, online games, online tutorials etc Food is still important and you shouldnt be so focused on other things that you forget to eat, but when all your thoughts are on food then you need to do something to distract yourself and change those food obsessed thoughts to other things.
      They might go away/lessen when you get closer to your goal weight and maintain your weight for a while - and still eating enough. Because then there isnt a focus on weight gain, instead you eat for energy and so that you can live life... not just eat to reach a goal, but eat for survival/energy and because it is delicious.

      And regarding the visceral fat, i would not worry about that. Even if you are eating desserts and pastrys and buns and such, that is ok. That is fine as part of a balanced diet. As you get closer to your bodies goal weight (remember that 50 might not be your set weight, it might be higher or lower ?) then your body doesnt change so much, however the last few kilos usually arent visable either. I would not worry about visceral fat if you are eating a balanced diet and when your weight is maintained and you feel energetic and healthy enough, adding in exercise for a healthy lifestyle, then you have nothing to worry about :) I have no idea about my own visceral fat levels but i amnt exactly a super clean eater, i still eat plentyof sugar and white flour and i am sure that my insides are healthy anyway. So its about the balance, and remember that the stomach fat you have is HEALTHY and noraml. Everyone has stomach fat and rolls when they sit down, that little pooch, that is what women have as that is most often where females store their fat and there is nothing wrong with that. So dont feel self conscious about that :) Instead love your body as it looks, and focus on reaching a healthy weight and living the life you want and not having your eating disorder control you or being food obsessed. It takes time, but changing thoughts is important. And think about how far you have come already, so you can get past this as well :)

  3. Hello :) I cannot give a scientific answer to this, but I can give an answer from experience. On the first point: it took a really long time for me before obsessive food thoughts went away; my impression was that that was partly physiological (as you say, it is "as if the body has become obsessed") and in my case partly psychological too, as there were things that were bound up with food for me. Eventually, the body gets over its obsessions, so that will pass, just keep going! You don't mention feeling the psychological end of it, and I hope you don't, but if you do, then you need a way to deal with that without keeping on reliving a twisted version of the problems through food. It can better too. Eating those regular meals is great, and there is nothing wrong with that at all - don't stress! :)
    On the second, in my own case, my stomach is where my body carries weight. I don't like it, but it is the way I am built. It runs in my family on one side, and for all I know I exacerbated it through ED stuff, I don't know. I look at people who've recovered from EDs, and I see that their weight distributes in ways I would much prefer mine to. But for me it doesn't. Maybe for you it will eventually -- if you are still underweight, and have been underweight for a while, then you are still a long way off the redistribution phase. But even if you did have the misfortune to have a figure like mine, honestly, it is nothing to worry about. If you can only be a healthy weight and eat healthily with a protruding stomach, then choose the stomach (ie trust in your body) over permanent mental illness, any day. But at your stage, that might not be where things are going anyway. You just can't tell till you're at your set point and have been for a long while. Don't worry about where the body is storing its fat -- the body knows what it is doing a lot better than we do. Eating your regular meals and working on the thoughts is the best way through this. X

  4. How is the weight gain going? Have you managed to replace any of the weight you have lost?

  5. I went through the same thing - multiple times in fact as I had several extended periods of starvation in my life. Each time food was reintroduced, I became totally obsessed. I wanted to eat, all the time, and panicked because it felt out of control, like I had unleashed a beast that would just want to eat and eat forever. The fact that now that I COULD eat, made me WANT to eat. All the time. Part of it was the novelty, part of it was extreme hunger from my body and mind adjusting to the fact that there was now available food for me. I had a couple times when the starvation period wasn't even ED-related (I was homeless and drug-addicted for several years), and when I moved back in with my family I went though the same thing. I just wanted to eat. I was surprised to feel this food obsession come back, and to once again worry about gaining weight forever, as I had been ED-free for years. This experience did at least show me that there was a biological component to my obsession, that food scarcity will of course equal food obsession and infatuation once food is available again. The very best advice I got during this time was very simple: relax, it won't last forever. And it was true. After a few months of steady intake, I realized that I wasn't eating like a maniac anymore. My weight levelled off at my set point, and my appetite levelled off to normal levels. The obsession went away because I was fed enough, every day, and my body and mind learned to trust that more food was always coming. I didn't need to obsess over it, I could just have it. Eating enough and not trying to control it was key, though. Any time I tried to place limits or rules or whatever, the obsession got worse. Once I accepted that this was a normal phase of recovery, it was amazing how fast the food lost its power over my mind. Accept and let it be. And I was definitely eating more than 2000 calories on a lot of days. There's a lot of damage to repair.

    On your second question, I don't know how old you are, but a post-pubescent woman naturally has some roundness in the lower belly. Unless you won the genetic lottery, its simply a part of being a healthy woman. I am petite (5'1 and maybe 100lbs??) and I still have some roundness in my lower tummy, below my belly button. I don't know if my messed up eating contributed to the way I am built or store fat, but it is what it is. Acceptance is key. A little tummy shape is sexy - trust me! And fat does redistribute after prolonged consistency. My tummy was very bloated and felt "fat" (jiggly sides and the rest of it) in the earlier stages. Now my body is back to its intended proportions. I still bloat a lot, and very easily, but actual fat is less of an issue. Keep in mind that this is just a season of your life, its not forever. And that fighting the process only drags it out. If you want things to get to "normal", stay the course for quickest results! Tough, but true. You gotta relax into it. Good luck, it sounds like you are really on the right path :)

  6. Wow all the food looks so good!
    Izzy |