Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


Tuesday, June 21, 2016

Recovery is about fully letting go and not holding onto any piece of your eating disorder

And look at that the match lit that coal on fire. I'm on a downward spiral and there's no getting out of it.:

I saw this picture today while online and i thought it would make a great reminder and post topic. I have made posts about this before, but it doesnt harm to write about it again.

Fully recovering is about letting go of all the eating disorder habits. Even if it takes years to do so, that is what needs to be done to feel fully free and not controlled. Of course some habits have been done for so many years that they are just habits and not even something you realise are due to the eating disorder, some habits are so engrained into you that you cant imagine not doing them again. But if they are something which control you in a sense, i.e maybe you dont let your food touch on the plate or you feel that you always have to eat vegetables with your meal and can feel a panicked feeling if your food touches each other or there are no vegetables with your meal, then maybe you should consider the fact that those thoughts and behaviours arent healthy. Even if you have had them/done them for years? Or maybe you have this rule that you have to take 10000 steps everyday and dont go to bed if you havent take so many steps. You might not even think that is something disordered because you have done it for so many years and "everyone else is tracking their steps", but counting your steps is something that controls you and you get an anxious or panicked feeling when you havent completed all your steps.... then maybe you should think about whether that behaviour is a healthy one or one stemming from your illness?

Dont stay in half recovery or be a functional sufferer. You can not hold onto small parts of your eating disorder, you need to get rid of all the habits but also change the thoughts. Challenge your mindset and your thoughts. Change the behaviours that keep you back from full recovery!

Only you can know why you do things in your life so it is up to you to be honest to yourself about why you do them and whether they stem from a healthy mind set or a sick mindset (i.e healthy intentions or sick intentions). Be honest to yourself and make the changes necessary so you can live a free life and not have small things that control you and hold you back from living the life you want!

1 comment:

  1. How long would you say it takes to be free of ED thoughts? I know it doesn't happen just because you are weight restored, although that must help with your thinking. Do unhealthy thoughts continue very far into post recovery and will any behaviours remain forever? Like you said, some habits are so ingrained.
    How long did it take you to be totally ED thought free rather than just weight restored?