Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


Friday, June 24, 2016

Midsummer celebrations 2016

Hello ;)

And once again it is time for midsummer celebrations here in Sweden, or well the celebrations are mostly over for me now. Retreating to the sofa with my computer and a cup of tea as my stomach pain kicks in. But it has been a very good day otherwise!!

The day started at 6am after only a few hours of sleep, but the rain pouring down on the roof made it impossible for me to sleep any longer. By 6.45am when the rain had lessened i thought i would dare to take a walk/run, but just 10 minutes into my walk it poured down like crazy and i am no super bad ass, dont care about the weather, so it was just to return home and take a warm shower instead. Some say, theres no bad weather only bad clothing. I say, there is no point walking or running in the rain if it isnt necessary or you find it therapeutic... it was neither for me this morning, hahaha.

Breakfast began with fruit and then a part two of breakfast when my family woke up.

And then after that i began making the midsummer cake - 3 layers with nutella, cream and strawberry mash/jam! Apparently it got 10/10. I was content with fruit salad, oat cream and vegan cookies! (i.e dessert eaten after our delicious midsummer lunch).
And i also made a tofu mix, home made beetroot salad and potatoe salad which i enjoyed for midsummer lunch as well as soya balls, hasselback potatoes and salad.

Apart from food and eating what have we done? We went to see the maypole and to watch the traditional boat arrive to the island which had some midsummer decorations, and that was as festive as it got, hahaha.

It feels like this day has just revolved around food today... maybe its just me? Or do festive occasions always revolved around food a little too much... but i guess thats part of society as well, food is a social thing. And i have no problem with that, i love food but it feels like it has just been food, make food, prepare food, eat food, decorate food... wait and then eat more food again? hahahah.
Though who am i to complain, i love it also!!!!

This evening it will be family time and we might watch a film or play some card games, and then tomorrow i am heading home again and it will be nice to head home. I've had a bit of anxiety being away and longed home, but i know that i am barely spending 48 hours here so the anxiety is irrational and silly!

It is always like that... you know the anxiety is silly and irrational but still it is there. However when you begin to realise that the anxiety is irrational it does get easier to cope!
So remember that, if you ever get anxiety over certain things and you know it is silly remind yourself of that and it can be easier to try to change your thoughts and feelings and the anxiety might lessen :)

For now, it is family time :)


  1. So sorry you had the stomach pain and anxiety! It is lovely that you could enjoy the rest. The maypole and boat sound fun! I hope you have a cosy and happy homecoming tomorrow, and that you get to rest well tonight.

    1. Thank you. I guess I just need to get see to and accept my stomach pain by this point... but still trying to pinpoint what triggers the pain more precisely! I hope you have a lovely weekend :)

  2. This all sounds so lovely - and looks amazingly yummy! I'm quite jealous as I'm missing midsummer (again!), and we'd usually do similar things in Finland to what you've described :)

    Hope the stomach pain goes away soon :(

    1. The traditions are similar on the nordic countries :) but it's never the same when you are away or in another country during midsummer. But maybe next year you'll celebrate midsummer in the traditional way if that is what you like :)

  3. Do you think there is a connection between your stomach pain and anxiety? You`ve mentioned a few times now about being stressed/anxious and then follows stomach pain. Just a thought. Its worth thinking about because if you can pin point a trigger it would help you a great deal, maybe even be able to avoid the pain before it starts if you can deal with your anxiety.
    Can I just say your cake looked truly amazing! You are so creative! And the food table. so colourful and appetising. What are hassleback potatoes? I`ve never heard of them before?
    I suppose most festivities revolve around food when you come to think of it. Christmas, Easter - they`re all food aren't they? But it sounds as though you had a nice time anyway, its good to have a break now and again and celebrating summer sounds good to me!
    Hope your journey home went ok and you`re feeling better now

    1. Oh yes i have made that correlation before between anxiety/stress and stomach pain, and i think it can contribute to it in someways and make the stomach pain worse. But i think its 80% physical pain and sometimes i.e 20% stems from mental anxiety or stress. Or that is my theory anyway :)

      I love hasselback potatoes as a variation to just baked potatoes/wedges (as i still dont like boiled or mashed potatoes) - if you google you will find the recipe, but basically you just make thin slices in a potatoe (but not the whole way), add some oil and breadcrumbbs and then into the oven :)

  4. I love that Nordic countries are still traditional! In Slavic countries, we have a celebration similar to your midsummer, not going to explain it but we put decorated flower garlands with candles into the river and let them float :)

    1. That sounds like a lovely tradition!!

  5. Omg Izzy you're so beautiful! I love your dress *.* it suits you so much!