Even if i dont have so much to do during summer time it still feels like the days pass all too quickly and i never get around to blogging.Its 2.20pm now and the first time since this morning i have remembered that i have a blog. It might be the fact that i amnt doing so much but time passes quickly, so i dont actually have anything to write about.
But i thought i would do a life/thought update!
So, yesterday i found out that if i study in autumn it will be in Gothenburg i.e 4-6 hours train ride away. The courses i applied for in the university i have studied at are either cancelled or i need to have studied certain courses before being able to study those courses. So if i get accepted to programs or courses it will be in Gothenburg. Which of course makes me super happy - if i get in! But at the same time, so nervous and scared and anxious.
Trying to find an apartment will be so much harder as i wont be able to see the apartment beforehand and also when/if i move ill have to pack most of my things with me. Luckily my step dad has worked in Gothenburg and has contacts there so that should hopefully help and my sister has contacts there as well, and i might talk to some people i know online who study there and see if they can help me find an apartment if i get in... so hopefully that will sort itself. And not cause too much worry and stress these few weeks before i know where i get.
But then also i hope that i get into the program which i want to study which is either 3 or 4 years, and well... then i would move to Gothenburg for those 3-4 years. Which then gets me wondering about my relationship... i dont know if i could manage a long distance relationship if i moved to Gothenburg. When i studied my course and lived on my own there were times i felt like it "wasnt working", i am not so good at communicating and that is not so good when you are doing a long distance relationship, and sometimes it felt like when it had gone X weeks and we hadnt seen each other and barely talked i felt like there "wasnt anything there", but then we would meet agian and everything felt fine. But those times when it went weeks and you begin to question whether the relationship is true or not etc And if i move to Gothenburg then we wouldnt see each other for weeks/months as he works 4-6 days a week and i wouldnt be able to travel to Stockholm so often... so all of those thoughts stress me out, but i know its silly and stupid to think like this. Why worry now? But i have no one to talk to about it as i dont want to talk to my family about it and i dont want to talk to my boyfriend about it until i know whether i will be studying and moving in autumn or not...
But i am going to just focus on enjoying summer and hopefully working and saving up money!
Otherwise i have regained workout motivation, an appetite and more energy and just feeling overall great. Or well, a little worried that i might lack nutrients or vitamins in my diet but i will find out soon as i have 2 days of doctors appointments and tests awaiting me. So then if i lack something my blood tests will show that, but i think it might be iron but i dont want to take supplements until i know.
But in general i am feeling rather good! Ups and downs as usual but trying to not worry or stress so much. Instead enjoy the energy i have, enjoy the lack of stress and "musts" and enjoy my workouts where i dont have to be finished by a certain time, but instead just allow everything to take a little longer. I thought about how strange it is to not be studying, how i dont need to open a book and start memorizing and taking notes... but it is a very nice feeling at the same time!!
So to all of you taking your exams, soon the stress will be over and you can have some breathing time and to destress! You will feel so much better then!!!