Self love won't happen by comparing yourself or your body to others.
Body love and acceptance wont happen just because you have a six pack or a thigh gap or a flat stomach.
Body confidence won't come just because you weigh a certain number.
Body confidence and self love won't happen by following a restrictive diet or doing hours fo exercise you don't like.
Self love wont come from constantly trying to change your body.
Self love and body acceptance/love comes from the inside and not from constantly trying to change your body. Self love happens when you begin to love yourself - all of you and not just focus on the outside and your appearance. Because you are so much more than that. You are not just your legs or your arms or your stomach or your face, you are YOU. You are your personality, hobbies, interests, your laugh, your smile, the things you enjoy, the things you dislike. And self love comes from embracing all of those and also embracing the less positive sides of yourself - because we all have them in some form or another. And by accepting the "flaws" whether its ones that are physical or ones that are behavioural, you need to accept them.
Such as if you are an introvert but wish you were an extrovert, instead accept who you are instead of wishing to be someone else and instead just try to challenge yourself to be more of an extrovert and do things outside of your comfort zone, but all the time embracing and loving who you are. People are different, both in looks and behaviours and personalities and that is what makes us unique.
You will never look like someone else, doesnt matter if you try to eat the same as them or workout the same as them or live the same way as them, you wont ever look or be the same person as them. Instead you need to find all the positives about yourself and embrace them!!
Whenever i write posts about self love or accepting your body i get comments telling me that, "It's easy for me to love myself when i have the body i have, and when i am tall and blonde or look the way i look.".... that it is easy for me to love myself because i have a certain trend body (??).
But i actually find that a little degrading to say, and i know it sounds silly. But for me self love isnt natural - the natural and easy thing for me is to see all my flaws, for me to bring myself down about my appearance and to dislike what i see. So for me to have come so far in my self love journey that i like WHO I AM 98% of the time is awesome, and also to not care about bloating or weight or any of that. Of course i have had this mindset for several years now, so it isnt something new or revolutionary for me. But just the fact that i have spent the majority of my life hating myself and hating my body and wishing to be someone else, but now reached a stage of loving myself and who i am, including my body at all weights and sizes - and then someone comes and says It's so easy for you to love yourself when you look the way you do. It's like they take away all my hardwork and my self love journey?
If that makes sense.
Reaching my stage of self love has little to do with my body, weight or exercise/food and almost everything to do with my mindset. Changing the way i see myself and think about myself. Learning that it is ok to make mistakes, learning to accept those things in my behaviour or personality which i dont like so much and either trying to change them (i.e actually answer phone calls and not isolate myself - 2 behaviours i dont like about myself and dont want to accept, instead need to work on changing), or accept them. But then also i cant deny that strength training has given me a form of confidence and physical strength which matches my mental strength as well as making me feel like i am good at something as well as it being a huge enjoyment which ADDS to self love - when you feel good at something and do things you love!
Each day think positive things about yourself and your body.
Write down small positive things about yourself on notes and keep them where you can see them.
When you look in the mirror or have negative thoughts, change them... for each negative thought you counteract it with 3 positive ones!
Stop following accounts that trigger you or make you feel bad about yourself and just follow inspirational accounts.
Do things you enjoy and things you feel good at - which are positive ones!!!
Dont spend so much time infront of the mirror and NO body checking, measuring or weighing.
Stop looking at magazines or shows that trigger you or make you feel like you arent good enough.
Surround yourself with positive people.
Allow yourself to have bad days and know that we all have flaws in some form or another, and that is ok. But dont let those bad days define you.
Accept bloating - it happens to everyone.
No body checking photos.
Do things you love and spend little time thinking about your body. The more time you spend living the less time you have for your body and for body checking or comparison!!!
^^ This was one of the most important and helpful things in my self love journey. To actually live life. If i just sat at home eating and resting all day then its like my thoughts automatically went to my body, but when i began school again, began to live life and make friends and find hobbies then my focus was less on my body and more on my goals, dreams and to do list - and of course all the school work i had which took up 90% of my brain capacity!!!