Life without Anorexia
My motto is 'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'
My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.
I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.
I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!
If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: firstname.lastname@example.org
Monday, June 20, 2016
Celebrating 6 years in Sweden with a vegan dinner buffé and ice cream
Today is no ordinary Monday, or well it is... but it also has another meaning for me anyway. Because the 20th of June 2010 i moved to Sweden with my mum. 6 years ago i moved to Sweden and havent longed back to Ireland since, instead i have made my life here and in these 6 years so much has happened. I am a whole different person compared to the girl who was discharged from the kids psychiatric hospital on the 19th of June 2010, got my NG tube taken out and driven home where i got to pack my bags - the first time being home in 2 months - and then the next morning was up at 3 or 4am to travel 4 hours to the airport where i then got onto a plan with my mother and travelled to Sweden and was admitted to hospital in Sweden on the 21st as already arranged.
I promised my mum on the 19th when i was discharged from hospital in Ireland that i would try my best to recover, that i would make things better. Little did i know that it would take more than 2 years for things to actually get better and that would include 4 more inpatient stays, suicde attempts, trying to run away from hospital and almost being kicked out of hospital before things began to get better.
But they did... eventually things got better and i am so glad about that. Glad that i found the strength and motivation inside of me to finally fight my eating disorder even if it was a long hard journey. Here i am, years later and am able to enjoy a delicious dinner with my mother followed by ice cream and just enjoy being alive, enjoy the evening with my mother.
It is strange to think how different life was just a few years ago. But i can say, life is so much better without an eating disorder, when food can be enjoyed both on my own and with others.
Every year on the 20th of June my mum and i have a tradition to celebrate in some way and this year we went to a vegan/vegetarian restaurant (which unfortunatly i didnt think was so good... so gets 2/5 from me), and then we took a stroll and i got cravings for ice cream (How can it already be June and i havent even had my first summer ice cream yet? That had to change!!). So i steered us to an ice cream place where i knew they served vegan ice cream and bought my mother and I some ice cream. (I took the only vegan ice cream option available which was chocolate, and even though i dont like chocolate i have to say that it was pretty amazing. Beats chocolate flavoured ben and jerrys which i never liked!! And my mum took a matcha flavoured ice cream). We sat on a bench for a while, ate and enjoyed our ice cream and did some people watching before we headed home again.
It was a lovely evening and it makes me so happy to spend time with my mum like this, to just enjoy an evening together. To think about how much life has changed and how things are so different now and that i am not sure i would even be alive if my mum hadnt made the decision that we move to Sweden so i could get proffessional treatment for my eating disorder. But also that my mum has always been a sort of "rock" for me, she has always been there and tried to help me the best she can and listened to me - never tried to talk to me like i am a child or treated me like im not even a person (which was what happened to me very often when i was in treatment. I wasnt always treated as a human and was often talked down to, like i couldnt understand and people would talk over my head instead of directly towards me. ) She always did her best to try to help me in the best way she could and i am so thankful for that, and also thankful that she is my mother despite all the awful things i said to her during my years of being sick, but i think she was aware of the fact that those hurtful and spiteful words came from a place of anger and anxiety as well as they werent really "me" but more the eating disorder.
Things can change if you want them to change. And think.... in a few years time life could be so different if you work on making them different!!!