Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: lifewithoutanorexia@hotmail.com

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Friday, May 13, 2016

When you want to be productive but your body says no

Hello :)

Yesterday evening I thought I would be productive and answer emails or write posts but that was not the case. I made myself a dinner which just consisted of snacks and thought I'd watch the second semi final of the Eurovision but once I was done eating I was lying in bed waiting until 9pm at the time it Was only 8pm,  and i managed to fall asleep with my clothes still on, unbrushed teeth and my mobile in my hands and my computer screen open infront of me . And then I woke up around 1am and it was just to change into my pyjamas, brush my teeth, turn off my electronics and the light and go back to sleep! And then this morning I managed to sleep until 8am. .. and I don't even know when I last did that!!! But it felt good to wake up feeling very refreshed! My day started with a walk, breakfast and then I thought I'd go to the gym but instead my CF made breathing very hard and so I had to take strong medication which makes me feel dizzy and faint so then it's just to wait 1-2 hours until that feeling passes and then j got some studying done as well as a simple and delicious lunch (picture below!). And now finally at 2pm I need a break from my studying and to go for a deadlift workout. .. won't be at the gym for so long and will just focus on deadlift, just need a break and then it's back home to study before I head to stockholm this evening! Despite my test being over I still have a bunch of things to read and to learn about all the B vitamins so going to try get as much done as I can so that I can have a study free weekend with my family and boyfriend!

Also tomorrow is the Eurovision (hosted in Sweden ;)) will anybody be watching?  I will as it's a tradition!! Hahah. I haven't heard any of the songs apart from swedens song but that one isn't so good ^-^ Hahha.   What do you think about the Eurovision?  Do you watch it? :)

14 comments:

  1. I used to love your blog so much but now I'm disappointed because it's just the same thing over and over with the same food over and over and same advice posts plus it just doesn't seem like you're all that motivated or excited and passionate about things anymore. It just seems so blah.

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    1. Well i have alot going on in my life that i dont write about here, or things that happen in my life or thoughts in my head that i dont write about and so it seems like i just do the same thing over and over, and posts becomevery repetitive because i dont always have motivation to write. But also ive ben recovered for 4 years now and each day that passes the further i am from the sick girl i was and so i dont always have advice posts... because food doesnt scare me, i am not scared of weight gain, i dont panic when resting or compensate when i eat etc so then those arent things i feel like writing about and not to mention that i have advice posts about many topics so it feels like just repeating the same advice over and over. I know my blog isnt so great at the moment, because i dont have so much motivation or creativity for it with everything else going on in my life. But if you have any advice on what i can do to improve that would be much appreciated, because even if you dont want to read anymore maybe i can improve what i post or dont post for other readers :)

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    2. To the anonymous above, that's really not very kind of you. Izzy, I think you are a wonderful person and your blog is still very interesting and helpful :) don't let it discourage you!! xx

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    3. Oh dont worry i dont take their comment personally, i think its good when people leave some type of feedback or tell me what i can do to improve. Though generally i prefer constructive critiszim regarding what to post more or less of, as that is more helpful. But everyone is allowed their own opinion and feedback - good or bad - is always a good thing and helps me improve :) And i guess my lack of motivation shows in the blog and now that i know that i might take a blog break and focus on getting my motivation back and sorting things out in my life and such.

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    4. Dear Izzy, I could never understand people who comment negatively on other peoples´ blog posts (apart from postings that are racist or against other human rigths of course). I´m so thankful that a girl having left behind anorexia is so motivated to support others whilst sharing experiences, hopes, thoughts and everyday life. You are doing a fabolous job - aside from the fact that this IS NOT your job.
      Greetings from Germany, Eva

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    5. Well I think the comment was downright rude. I think you are doing a wonderful job with your blog and also getting on with your everyday life - the fact that you are also having other things to deal with that you choose not to write about goes to emphasise this even more. I myself would be sorry to see you having to take a break from blogging although I can understand your reasons for doing so, if it means you can concentrate on other areas of your life that need your time that has got to be a good thing for you.
      I hope though that you do continue, no way do I find your blog repetitive and it is a great inspiration for me. I cannot understand why that person had to post those comments. If anything I rather thought that your blog had moved on just lately and was reflecting more of how your life is now - rather than when you were sick. It is so good to read about how things can be after recovery - it gives me hope that someday I too will be in that position and I value these posts as much as the ones you write about recovery itself. So much information out there stops whens recovery is complete, ie you are weight restored, but your blog takes it further, shows me that there is a life out there too.
      Ithink you are doing a great job and please don`t be discouraged (())

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    6. You are so sweet, thank you :) I dont take comments on here personally and dont see comments as rude, haha. Though i prefer constructive critisizm rather than just "this is good or this is bad".... i mean if someone can take the time to comment then they might as well comment about what is good or bad as that helps me improve!! :) I hope you have a lovely weekend and enjoy the eurovision if you decide to watch it :)

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    7. To the first commenter - perhaps your boredom with this blog is more indicative of where YOU are than where Izzy is. It's perfectly normal to grow and phase out of what was once relevant and interesting for you. Perhaps your need for this space has simply run its course and it's time to move on to something else. No harm, no foul. Although your wording leaves much to be desired (you may want to learn how to couch criticism in kinder, more helpful ways, as then you will find people more open to and accepting of your input), it sounds like maybe you have just outgrown what Izzy is offering. There are thousands of blogs out there, find one that speaks to you.

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  2. please don't feel like you have to answer this - it is just curiosity - but re. having lots that you don't write about -- why do you not write about so many things? Is it fear of being triggering, or does it make things harder for you yourself to handle if you write about them here, and is that a change in your own relationship to yourself and your blog and blog-readers, or is it something else? It's only curiosity that I ask! You don't have to reply, I don't need a reply. I just wondered. I think you and your blog are wonderful. And when I was struggling, I found the regularity and consistency of your posts and presence really helpful; I always wished I could reach out to you more with your depression but I didn't know how. I hope you have a good weekend.

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    1. I just dont feel that everything needs to be mentioned. Like some things happen in my personal life and then i dont feel like sharing that online, but also because people i know read my blog and then i dont want them to know what has happened... which might be a bad idea as they are the types of people who should know, but then i guess i would talk to them personally. Some thoughts i have i dont write out as they are triggering but generally the things that happen in my life i dont always feel like sharing and other times i have things i want to write about/share and then i forget about them or think it doesnt matter. For example times when i am really happy and just want to share that happiness but think "oh well, it doesnt really matter nobody wants to read about that" and then i dont post it.

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    2. I would love it if you shared your happiness - you never know it may be catching :)
      It does matter and people do care :)

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  3. I will be watching Eurovision - complete with snacks - if only to see the UK suffer yet another embarrassment:( Its not so big here anymore, which is a shame as when I was growing up it was huge, everyone watched it, it was in the papers and everything. Now its gone the same way as Big Brother - rather had its day. But its still a fun way to pass the evening, and some of the entries do make me laugh!

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  4. Just an idea, but if content is an issue, I personally would find it really interesting if you did a post series on your depression. Like even once a week, you could have one personal post about your journey and how you are finding the solution. A ton of people with EDs also suffer from primary or secondary depression, and often that doesn't go away even when the ED does. Some ideas for posts could be a background post of your history with depression, a post about the beginning of this particular relapse with depression, posts about different techniques or ways you have tried to handle it (the successful and unsuccessful), random update posts on how your depression has been that week, different advice/factual posts about specific coping methods and treatments, posts about your goals (ie: "this week I am going to have an open conversation with my mom about it", or "this week I am going to go to student health services and ask about counseling", or "this week I am going to try meditating for 20 min every morning" etc etc plus follow-ups about how it went, whether you met your goal. Posts about the connection between EDs and depression, or how this cycle of depression is or is not causing any body-related problems or thoughts for you. Posts about all of the conflicting thoughts that accompany depression (like nit feeling worthy of help, or the up and down cycles that prevent getting help because it doesnt feel so serious all the time, etc). The list goes on and on, and I think it would be a neat direction, both personal AND helpful for your readers. It may even help you! And it needn't take over your blog, just a once per week series would be enough, and it could expand your reach and the areas in which you could help others. I may be talking out of my ass here, but you're usually open to ideas from your readers and I think this is a good one! You could ask your readers in a post or something and see if you get much interest or positive responses.

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