Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Saturday, May 7, 2016

Start the day fresh and dont let fear hold you back

Good morning world :)

Or well those of you who decide to check in on my little blog and my updates! It is Saturday morning, the sun is shining and today there is nothing planned to do. Well it is hard to plan to do anything when you are out on an island, there's not really any place to go or anything to do. Instead it is about creativity and spending time with others... or well, relying on internet and watching Youtube videos. And i did a bit of both yesterday!

Lots of exercise yesterday and lots of time in the sun lead to a very tired and somewhat red body today. To sum up yesterday, it was a nice day where i didnt do so much but just being out in the sun, going for runs, walks and interval training was exactly what i needed.

However, despite my lovely day when i went to bed i spent far too much time thinking and that lead me to panicked and anxious feelings about my future. To the point of, "what does it matter, just thinking about tomorrow gives me anxiety.". So that wasnt the best way to end the day, but i reminded myself "Dont let the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present" and then also used the technique of looking at random objects in the room and in my mind describing them in detailed ways and what they can be used for etc That is a technique which i find very useful for calming me down when i am anxious... Instead of breathing techqniues or counting, i focus solely on an object and all my attention goes to that object.

This morning i woke up feeling tired, but decided to think positive and make today a good day. So first off a short walk in the sun, i wanted to run but after 3 days of intervals and lots of working out my legs said "no", so it was just a short walk and the rest of the day it will be no exercise as all my body needs is rest!! Important to listen to my body... yesterday i had lots of energy and so could do lots of exercise, but today i have 0 energy so doing little to nothing, haha!!

After my walk i made myself breakfast: Banana and egg pancakes with vanilla quark, cream and dark chocolate. Or well i didnt eat so much of the cream as my stomach cant handle it so well :( Before i couldnt eat bananas i would get stomach pain, my throat would itch and my eyes watered but now i seem to be able to eat them.... And i have no idea why? Because i wasnt scared of bananas, i could eat them and enjoyed them but then suddenly i got all those symptoms whenever i ate banans and it wasnt just a one time thing, it happened several times and so i stopped eating them... and when i tried eating them again it itched in my throat and i got lots of heart burn, but no watering eyes and the time after that it didnt itch in my throat and now when i made banana and egg pancakes it was no problem... so i have no idea why i got those symptoms before? If anyone has an idea, let me know!! But hopefully i can eat bananas now anyway, ive tried making "Nice"cream before and that went ok... i got a little itch in my throat and heartburn but not as bad as it was before.

Anyway, moving on from that.  Today it will be study time and spending time in the sun so that maybe i actually get a tan instead of being 2 shades away from a lobster XD

I hope you all have a lovely day and make the best of this Saturday :)


  1. I`m really glad you`re having a nice time and enjoying yourself - the island sounds lovely - a real break from routine!
    I don`t know what could have been going on with the banana thing, maybe by perservering with eating them your intolerance has diminished? I get the same sort of reaction with eating apples, but that hasn't gone yet. Similar, I used to be really allergic to cat fur until I had one as a pet myself and thus increased my exposure to the fur. After a few months my symptoms - sneezing, itching, rashes, sore throat, itchy eyes etc all but disappeared, so maybe it is an exposure thing? I don`t really know.
    Hope you continue to have a great time and come home relaxed and well rested. Where is the island by the way?

    1. Its nice to get away, though already longing home.. .haha, thats how it usually is for me. But i know that my routines, habits and apartment are still there and i needt o allow myself to have a few days away as well! Its strange that with food intolerances and such, i dont know why i got those symptoms before but it seems to not be as bad now anyway! Which is good as i love bananas and there is so much you can do with bananas!

      Ii hope you are having a good weekend :) The island is on the coast of Sweden :)

    2. Just an after thought where the banana intolerance is concerned - I have found that although I can`t tolerate most fruits "raw" I can when they`re cooked, ie apples give me symptoms but when they`re cooked into a crumble or made into apple sauce I`m fine. Maybe that's whats going on with you too?

  2. Is it necessary to eat after you workout? I am just a beginner who doesn't have a lot of knowledge about nutrition and working out. Can you give me an advice how to start?

    1. Yes eating after your workout will give you the best results, but you dont have to eat "directly" afterwards though within an hour, eat a snack anyway and within 1-3 hours eat a main meal after your workout. But it depends on what you have done and what you ate beforehand :)

  3. Your hair has gotten so thin?! :(

    1. Haha no, it was just very unclean and dirty and I had to put it in a braid ;)

  4. You don´t happen to suffer from an allergy to pollen, do you? Because I do, and a lot of foods (especially fruits, veggies and nuts) cross-react with pollen. However, when you cook the foods, some of those allergens "dissapear" in a way. i can´t eat any raw fruits or veg (cooked they are fine), because my throat closes up and I start itching. I´ve never been this sensitive, before, but there is a lot of pollen where I live now, so that might be the case.