Life without Anorexia
My motto is 'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'
I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.
I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.
I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.
I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at: email@example.com
Saturday, May 7, 2016
Start the day fresh and dont let fear hold you back
Good morning world :)
Or well those of you who decide to check in on my little blog and my updates! It is Saturday morning, the sun is shining and today there is nothing planned to do. Well it is hard to plan to do anything when you are out on an island, there's not really any place to go or anything to do. Instead it is about creativity and spending time with others... or well, relying on internet and watching Youtube videos. And i did a bit of both yesterday!
Lots of exercise yesterday and lots of time in the sun lead to a very tired and somewhat red body today. To sum up yesterday, it was a nice day where i didnt do so much but just being out in the sun, going for runs, walks and interval training was exactly what i needed.
However, despite my lovely day when i went to bed i spent far too much time thinking and that lead me to panicked and anxious feelings about my future. To the point of, "what does it matter, just thinking about tomorrow gives me anxiety.". So that wasnt the best way to end the day, but i reminded myself "Dont let the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present" and then also used the technique of looking at random objects in the room and in my mind describing them in detailed ways and what they can be used for etc That is a technique which i find very useful for calming me down when i am anxious... Instead of breathing techqniues or counting, i focus solely on an object and all my attention goes to that object.
This morning i woke up feeling tired, but decided to think positive and make today a good day. So first off a short walk in the sun, i wanted to run but after 3 days of intervals and lots of working out my legs said "no", so it was just a short walk and the rest of the day it will be no exercise as all my body needs is rest!! Important to listen to my body... yesterday i had lots of energy and so could do lots of exercise, but today i have 0 energy so doing little to nothing, haha!!
After my walk i made myself breakfast: Banana and egg pancakes with vanilla quark, cream and dark chocolate. Or well i didnt eat so much of the cream as my stomach cant handle it so well :( Before i couldnt eat bananas i would get stomach pain, my throat would itch and my eyes watered but now i seem to be able to eat them.... And i have no idea why? Because i wasnt scared of bananas, i could eat them and enjoyed them but then suddenly i got all those symptoms whenever i ate banans and it wasnt just a one time thing, it happened several times and so i stopped eating them... and when i tried eating them again it itched in my throat and i got lots of heart burn, but no watering eyes and the time after that it didnt itch in my throat and now when i made banana and egg pancakes it was no problem... so i have no idea why i got those symptoms before? If anyone has an idea, let me know!! But hopefully i can eat bananas now anyway, ive tried making "Nice"cream before and that went ok... i got a little itch in my throat and heartburn but not as bad as it was before.
Anyway, moving on from that. Today it will be study time and spending time in the sun so that maybe i actually get a tan instead of being 2 shades away from a lobster XD
I hope you all have a lovely day and make the best of this Saturday :)