Hello and good morning :)
I wanted to make a video about this topic but as I'm not at home and won't be able to film until Wednesday or Thursday I thought I would write about it anyway.
So I've been declared healthy for 4,5 years now and of course it hasn't been a linear 4,5 years. Compare myself and my thoughts and behaviours now to how I was in 2012 there is a huge difference. despite being declared healthy I still had things to work on and I still have things to work on though they aren't eating disorder related, they are stress and low self esteem related. So who knows in 2018 or 2020 I'll look back and see how much I have changed and grown from who I was now.
A question I ask myself at times is why do I still blog? So many years of blogging and I am free from my eating disorder.... so why "hold on to it" via my blog. But each time I answer this it is because I want to help others and inspire others to recover. ... Sometimes I blog for my sake with my thought posts or just personal posts but most often it's for the sake of my readers I. E You.
But the fact is that 1) I have written posts about most topics and try to help with any questions I get now. But also 2) I can barely remember how I recovered.... how I dealt with the anxiety or guilt. I just did. It wasn't easy and I did wrong plenty of times but somehow I got through all those tough times... I decided what I wanted and that was life and health. And then I made changes in my life. It wasn't easy and I can't even remember what I did or how I got through the tough times. ... so that can make it hard to answer questions at times because I barely remember how I recovered. Though I do remember how awful it was to be sick and in hospital so those things keep me from ever falling back into an eating disorder because I would never want to go back to hospital or back to who I was when I was sick.
One thing I do remember is that I was so helpless and lost and wanted answers in recovery. I wanted someone to relate to someone who could answer questions which the doctors never gave me answers to, and that is what I want to do with my blog. Help others and make you feel a little less lost and a little more motivated. But then again recovery and the body is so individual and how a person recovers is different from person to person. And it's alot about walking in the dark and knowing that there is light at the end of the tunnel as long as you keep going. It's about having blind faith and "just doing it" and facing your fears because no one else can do that for you. So even if I give advice you need to then try to put the advice to action and actually make changes and face fears! Nothing will change unless you make the change!!
Another thing I love about blogging is hearing people's recovery stories or the progress they made. Or when someone emails me a year later after we've had contact and tells me about all the progress they have made. It makes me so incredibly happy and reminds me how I want to keep helping people... to see/hear about people feeling healthier and happier! That is such a joy and makes me so happy. So I am hoping in summer I will get back into emailing again because even if it takes time I do love having that personal contact with people and helping people individually!
Where am I going with this post? Well... that I am recovered and so I don't have fears about food or worried about gaining lots of weight, I don't worry about resting from exercise or eating more Somedays and I don't hate my body so those things that you might struggle with daily I don't have those struggles anymore and so can't write so much advice about them. But what I can show is that you can be free from those thoughts if you decide to make a change and focus on full recovery. I want to show that life can be awesome even if it has its struggles and ups and downs.
I want to blog to help people even if I am no longer sick I want to try my best to help YOU. But that also means that I blog for your sake and to help you as best as I can!
So if you ever have any questions or need some advice you can comment or leave constructive criticism so I know how to improve!
I love blogging but don't know how long I will blog for but as long as I enjoy it I will keep going. But focusing more on "good posts " rather than many posts from now on!!