Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


Sunday, May 29, 2016

Moving home again, mothers day in Sweden and 2 vegan cakes to celebrate

Hello :)

After a super great and positive day yesterday and a productive day today i am now sitting by the kitchen table with my things mostly packed, the apartment mostly cleaned, cakes in the fridge and waiting for my parents to come pick me up. My last day in the apartment... Or well, second last as i will be back at the end of June to pack my furniture to be moved back home again. It's a little sad and mixed feelings but i am looking into the future and making the best of the situation, for now this is how it will be and well... i will now be back home with my family and able to see my dog daily! And it will be good to spend some time with my family again, even if that feeling might just last a few days, hahaha!

Yesterday, Saturday, i decided to walk into town to try to find a present for mothers day (which is today - Sunday 29th of May - in Sweden). Though i am awful at buying presents so left the stores empty handed and during my walk home i saw how the roads were being closed off, there were police everywhere and crowds of people standing and waiting. The further i walked i began to hear lots of music and then i saw what was happening - some type of carnival walk, so i stopped to watch that before i walked home again. And then it was a productive day of 1) filming the videos i posted yesterday, 2) Trying to upload them, 3) Laundry, 4) Begin to pack 5) Begin to clean, 6)Do some meal prep from the last of my food which i have now packed into lunch boxes and will bring with me back to  Stockholm and when all of that was done it was series watching before bed! I also managed to listen to 3 podcasts yesterday while getting all of those things done!!!

The whole day yesterday i felt so positive, so happy for some reason. But it felt so amazing at the same time, to just feel happy and positive the whole day!!! It was like an inner happiness and being productive and having no stress, just enjoying life as it is even if i had not so fun things like laundry, cleaning and packing!

Yesterdays dinner which was beyond delicious. Something so simple as wrap, hummus, avocado, falafel and a sauce made out of oatcream, is so incredibly delicious!!

Today i woke up with the same type of positivity but a little more stress.... whenever i have things i want to do or  need to do, i get this inner stress of "i have to get everything done right now". But then i had to remind myself that i had time, i didnt need to clean, pack, bake and send messages and answer all messages all at once. I had just woken up, not even had my morning coffee and already i felt the inner stress of "need to get everything done". So to break free from that inner stress i took a walk to calm myself, listened to a podcast and just took long deep breaths and remind myself that "i have time". And then on the way home i stopped to buy ingredients to make a cake for mothers day... though of course i can never make just one cake, and i can never follow a recipe so i have made 2 improvised mostly vegan cakes.

The ingredients didnt fill the whole tin... so yes, i might have had to eat the extra chocolate filling that poured over the base XD XD

And then it was just to pack, clean and now i am sitting here with tea and going to just relax before my parents arrive... and enjoy my alone time in the apartment :)


  1. Have you tried writing a schedule for yourself on days when you are having that kind of "so much to do" stress? I have found this a helpful tool at times. My own preference is to not micromanage the schedule, but basically have my to-do list broken up into morning/afternoon/evening segments. Also, I take care not to over pack the lists - figure out my priorities for that day, and write them in red. I know that I don't have to complete everything, but the red list needs to get done, and I have time set to do them. Then I don't worry about fitting it all in, or worrying if I have enough time, because I can visually see my day on paper and know it all fits. I love organizing stuff, so I maybe go a bit overboard with also having a weekly and monthly master to-do list, as well as my daily, but I do find that pre-arranging my time management cuts out all of my stress in that area. Once I have organized my "to-do" items, I make an effort to stay in the day, in the here and now. I know my lists have me covered, and so all I need to worry about is this day I'm in right now. Tomorrow is not my problem yet, but I'm prepared for it, so bring my focus to now. I can handle one day. One day at a time is an excellent mantra!

    1. Yeah i usually write a schedule or have a mental schedule but on days where i have alot of inner stress it doesnt help because i just want to get everything done at once... like i said i wanted to clean, bake, pack all at once even if i knew i had time and could get everything done i felt like there wasnt enough time. But writing schedules is very helpful and i usually have a daily schedule but sometimes i just feel like i need to do everything at once and then the best thing and most helpful thing is to just begin doing what i think is "most important or needs to be done first" and drop whatever i was doing beforehand. I guess i just need to learn to not feel panicked and stressed and like there is too much to do and too little time because often that is not the case!

  2. your bakery is beautiful!

    1. Thank you *insert blushing emoji* hahah

  3. I am impressed! You have mcvities digestive biscuits - and with the Union Jack flag on too! Did`nt know you could get them in Sweden!
    Love your pictures of the cakes - you are so creative, they look so good.
    Hope your move went smoothly and you have many more super positive days, its good to hear you are so happy :)

    1. There are actually alot of english and american products which can be found in regular swedish shops now (and not just the american store or the english store!). Such as reeses chocolate, marhshmallow fluff and different english cereals among other things!! And even cadburys can be found in the american or english shop!!

  4. We had mothers day here in the UK a couple of months ago - isn't it strange how the dates differ from country to country?
    the carnival looked very colourful - we`ve got the village carnival in two weeks time. I always go to watch it pass through the village and then it ends up at a field near me where they have stalls and various displays going on - passes a Saturday afternoon!
    I`m glad your calming techniques are working for you and feel a little less stressed. Having lots to do tends to push me into panic mode too but like you I just remind myself that it doesn't have to be all done at once, I have time.