Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Monday, May 16, 2016

Long day of travelling, rest and delicious food

Hello :)

For me it is almost the end of  Monday and it has been one long day. 
In the past i always had to workout on Mondays, no matter how tired or unmotivated i was. I had the mantra of "Never miss a Monday", luckily that is not the case anymore and i can rest whenever i need it whether thats a Monday, Wednesday or Sunday. Its strange how you can get stuck in certain things where i used to feel like a failure if i didnt workout on a Monday XD Glad those thoughts are long and gone.

My day has mostly been spent sitting on trains and waiting at the hospital as i had a CF appointment today. It took me 90 minutes to get there from my boyfriends apartment and then i was at the hospital for roughly 45 minutes where 35 minutes was waiting time and then i was done.... It feels rather unnecessary to go there as i dont have anything to say to the doctor and he/she doesnt have anything to say to me, and each time i go there i only speak to the doctor for 5-10 minutes and then im done. So a bit of waste of time and i wish i could just go when i needed it, but thats not allowed as i need to go for check ups each 4-6 weeks... basically my whole life -_-' You would think i am used to it by now, but still it never gets easier to go to the doctor. But atleast it wasnt bad news this time, so i can be satisfied with that!!

After the hospital visit it was time to travel home to my own apartment and it was supposed to take 2 hours but due to delays and train changes it took 3 hours until i was finally home and i dont think lying in my own bed has ever felt so good!! It has been a super long day where i have spent around 5 hours on public transport and surrounded by people so now i am looking forward to my evening on my own and watching series!!!

Below is my lunch and dinner today. If you dont like food pictures or get triggered then just skip them :)

Lunch today was black bean pasta (which had been lying around in my boyfriends cupboards for a while so i decided to finally try them... i'm not such a fan of pasta and this one got a 4/10 from me. It needed alot of salt to make them tasty!) and lentils, an avocado, tomatoes, cucumber and on the side: 2 kiwis, 2 nectarins and a banana. Yes i ate it all ;) And it kept me going almost all the way until dinner (Bought a coffee and an apple while waiting for my long journey back to my own apartment!)

And then dinner when i got home:

I heated up some lentils i had made last week, added some soya mince, sweet corn, tomatoe sauce and garlic. Placed into the paprika and into the oven and then topped with hummus and sunflower seeds. And outside the picture there is more soya/lentil mix which i also ate!

It is fun to be more creative with what i eat and i have loads of ideas for lunchs/recipes which i want to eat/try so i hope you dont mind if i share some of my meals, though i will try keep from being repetitive :) But it might give you some ideas for what you can try making/eating as well?

Let me know if you like the food pictures or not :) Or if you want me to share recipes/food ideas/inspiration.


  1. Hi I've been reading your blog for a long time and found it so helplful when I was at my lowest. I'm OK now but like you I have my own anxiety and depression demon to contend with.
    Your experience helped me by giving me a good example of someone who got better. That recovery is possible.
    I was thinking that maybe you could consider writing an eBook guide for recovery, so that you couldhelp more people out there. And get some source of income.
    I wish you the best and thank you.

    1. Thank you :) I am so glad i have been able to help, and i have never thought about writing an ebook. I have considered writing a book but just havent had the time for it, but maybe writing an ebook would be easier! Thank you for mentioning this!

    2. Yes it is easier, it is also easier for people to purchase it more globally, you already have a pretty devoted following on your blog, I'm sure you'll do well iin that.I really hope you consider.

  2. hi izzy

    i wondered if you could help me. I'm feeling incredibly scared of letting go. i have already put on a considerable amount of weight and thou i still have more to put on i am struggling i don't look anorexic anymore and thus i kinda don't want to put more on. i have been feeling so hungry thou so if i stop gaining i will need to decrease my meal plan. i just feel so guilty for eating and I'm also feeling lost cos if I'm able to eat then what have all the years of restriction been about. i have rules like i can't eat certain fear foods cos if i do I'm not anorexic anymore, again if i eat them, who am i? everything just feels a mess x

    1. Hi :) I'm not Izzy, but I just wanted to give a virtual hug of support :) I recovered from a restrictive eating disorder, and I can honestly tell you that even though you might feel unhappy about your body changing, I'm sure you will still be beautiful and you will feel so free and happy :) It's very hard, but it's worth it. Try not to let who you are be your eating disorder, although I know how hard it is to find your identity without it. Try to let go of the need to be defined as anorexic, even if it's just for yourself, because is life really worth it? You will see that recovery will bring a lot of joy and liberation (and it will take time and be very difficult, but never stop trying). Do it small step by small step; it's easier that way :) remember, you'll be okay, just breathe and remind yourself that whatever you do will not be the end of the world, and you have a whole life to live :)

  3. Hi Izzy, I saw that you are transitioning to a vegan diet so just wanted to say that Quorn contain animal products (which you probably know anyway?). That journey is long! I knew people that had to travel a long way to get to the day patient programme and appointments, so in a way I'm lucky to live 5mins from the hospital XD (no longer a patient though ;))

  4. Yes please! It is so inspiring :)

  5. Food posts are my favorite:) I mean we all need to eat and getting new recipe ideas is always great.

  6. I love your food pictures and look forward to seeing your recipes! I like vegetarian foods and especially now as dairy is off limits to me I would welcome the inspiration your recipes would give me.
    Your black bean pasta looked interesting - I`ve never tried it although I have tried carrot and beetroot, which is quite nice. At the moment I`ve got brown rice pasta which is also very nice - far better I think than the standard wheat variety.
    Your stuffed peppers looked delicious - I love stuffed peppers and have often experimented with different fillings but you can`t beat mince :)
    I hope you are having a more restful day today after all that travelling. Is`nt there a hospital clinic nearer to you that you can attend? It must be so tiring travelling that distance so regularly. Glad you are having fun with your creative cooking and I hope your dietry changes continue to go well for you.
    Looking forward to the cookery tips/ recipes!

  7. Hi Izzy - another question - whats a high carb vegan? I have been on the internet lately looking at peoples recovery stories and this has come up many times as their solution in recovery. I was wondering what it entailed and if following it is really beneficial or whether it was just a side step diet from their eating disorder?
    Thankyou !

    1. I'm not Izzy, and I don't know the specifics of what a high carb vegan diet is, but in my opinion (and my experience), any kind of predetermined or prescribed diet is not helpful when recovering from an ED. As you said, it is a side step, not a forward step. Any diet designed to help you feel safe or virtuous about your food can be very dangerous to someone with an ED. It is just another way to manipulate food. I STRONGLY believe that early recovery (and I'm talking 1-2 YEARS of solid recovery, not including the time taken for early recovery/restoration) should be focused on normalizing foods and removing restrictions. There is a time and place for choosing a diet that works for you long-term, but it is not immediately following an ED. Even if it is for ethical reasons, your own health needs to come first. Know that you can transition toward whatever it is that is calling to you, in the future. In the beginning, it is just playing with fire. In fact, ANY time someone with a history of EDs plays with their diet, it is playing with fire. Get a healthy base first, and get comfortable in it. If you make changes in the future, it needs to come from a place in which you are able to CHECK YOUR MOTIVES. A lot of people on social media these days are spreading a dangerous message of "diet XYZ helped me recover from my eating disorder!". I very much question those people. Recovery, real recovery, means dropping all dependence on the diet mentality. Those girls are selling themselves short. Izzy, on the other hand, is someone who I do think is probably doing this in a healthy way. She has been recovered for multiple years, and is secure in a solid base of freedom from food fixation. Now is the time she is considering changes to her diet, and she can rationally examine her motives. And she is being cautious and aware of the changes, and is prepared to give up the idea if it doesn't feel right. That, to me, is the healthy way to go about it. But there is no shortcut, you really have to put in the time of recovery and health first.

  8. The black pasta looks fun! I hope it tastes nice too. When you do come to write about the veganism, would you write about the ethical side and the thinking behind it too? And how you manage to experience it as "not restrictive", given that it does involve cutting things out, i.e. restricting - not calories, but a LOT of foods? & the social implications? I'm healthy, and have been vegetarian for a long time but never seriously considered becoming vegan; I'm interested, though. But equally - please don't feel you have to write about these things. It's interest but it doesn't matter :-) Have a good day.