Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


Tuesday, May 31, 2016

June goals 2016

Hello and good morning/good evening/good night.

At the moment my body and mind have checked into "summer vacation" mode and i have completely lost track of date, time and day. All of yesterday and this morning i have told myeslf to sit down and start writing my different personal letters for job applications, but yet here i am blogging instead. My mind doesnt want to do anything important, infact i have procrastinated this post for about 2 hours now, hahah. I need to write down my goals for the new month anyway so i thought why not share it online while i am at it, but its taken me two hours to actually get around to writing down my goals.

Feels like this will be a very unproductive week unless i start to find some type of motivation again. Though my mum has told me that right now i just need a break and to take it slow and easy. I.e go to the gym and not have 101 things to do directly afterwards. Or go out for a walk and not think about the things i need to do once i get home, and also to try to sleep in if i can (though i naturally wake up around 6-8am so it is not that i set an alarm.) As well as consume as little caffeine as i can and take different pills and herbs to help my body recover from the period of stress it has been in.... so a type of "reload/destress" phase as she calls it! So i guess that is my first goal of the month, to get rid of the "i have so much to do" because i dont... and i need to allow myself a break and allow myself to do nothing without feeling guilty over it.

My second goal for this month is to focus on body weight training and improving body strength and functionality. Because sure i can lift weights and feel strong when i lift weights, but ask me to do 25 push ups in a row or do 5 pull ups and i most probably cant... because i am not so strong in those types of movements and i want to get stronger in them. I want better flexibility and better control over my body and better overall strength. Because great that i can press X kilo above my head or use X kilo for bicep curls, but its pretty damn cool to be able to do muscle ups, 20 pulls ups and 50 push ups!! Also it wouldbe good training for when - if - i decided to do a "Toughest" obstacle race!

Third goal. Challenge myself each workout....I do challenge myself but i want new smaller challenges to keep improving, and todays challenge at the end of my workout consisted of 100 wall balls timed... and then maybe at the end of the month ill try again and see if i can do it at a better time XD But i feel like with the new challenge of focusing on  body weight exercises i will automatically be challenging myself alot!

Apply for jobs is my 4th goal! Finish writing my personal letters and then just go out and go to the stores/cafes/places i want to apply for work. Just do it basically. I have applied online but i know that that isnt as great as actually going to the work place, trying to talk to the person in charge and personally leaving my CV and personal letter. So many weeks/months of saying i will do it, and i have yet to actually do it. But i only have myself to blame that i have no job, but im not so stressed about it. What happens, happens.

Spend time out in nature and stop being a hermit!! Hahahah, if my parents say they are going out to the lake or nature or forest... follow with! Series will always be there and i isolate myself too much, so i need to get out into nature and spend time with my family!

And finally, to try to not stress and worry. Instead be positive each day and take each day as a new opportunity and enjoy the day, not worry about the future or what i could have done different in the past. .Instead, focus on the present happiness!!!

These are my goals for the month, what are your goals for June? :)


  1. It is lovely to have a personal update from you! Your mum's advice sounds good, and your goals are impressive! I really hope you do get to destress, relax, and gradually heal on the inside and recover motivation and inner energy and joy.
    Goals? Well, reading yours reminds me that I have always had a vague idea that maybe one day I might be able to do a single push-up! They say that anybody can learn, though I've never been able to! (& that is not weight related - my weight's been healthy for years now.) Not sure whether I really believe I'd ever learn! ;o)

    1. Thank you :) Yes my mum is very clever! Everything is possible, but it also means practise!! In the past i couldnt do chin ups at all, but after months of practise i reached a stage of being able to do 5 chin ups... but now back to not being able to do one as i stopped practising. So it is all about practise.. maybe practise against a wall first, or on your knees or doing incline push ups i.e against a bench or something :) As well as maybe other exercises to help strengthen your arms and back and chest!! You can reach the goal if you work towards it :)

  2. Does your training stress you as well? I mean because it's rather time consuming to exercise 2-3h a day, as well as it stresses the body. Maybe more total rest days would help you to be able to concentrate on the more "important" things? Most people doesn't even have time to exercise each day, so I can imagine that you have a very stressful schedule! If you rest more, then you will have more energy when you actually workout and you will probably see better progression! :)

    1. Who says i workout 2-3 hours a day? Not me anyway... when i am at the gym its 45-60 minutes. and thats it... and the gym doesnt stress me, but that i have this "i need to do things" mindset where i always think about all the other things i need to do when in actuality its just an inner stress and there is time. Like i said in a previous post, i felt so stressed - inner stress - and i had to just take a walk and remind myself that it was a silly inner stress. Because working out doesnt stress me out, infact it is the thing that helps me relax and the best part of my day. But i need to learn to not stress so much about think that i dont have time when i do have time. And p.s i have already rested 1,5 weeks and i do take full rest days... so dont pretend that you know how i workout. (I dont mean to be rude, but i am so tired of people thinking they know how i workout, when and how much)

    2. Whoa, it didn't mean to offend you in any way! I'm just trying to help with your problems, but maybe you don't want that, sorry in that case! I didn't mean 2-3h in the gym, but walks as well :) You have said that you workout everyday and walks as well, so it was just an estimation based on what you have said, but of course I understand that it varies. Yes of course you have yo rest when you are ill, but I meant all year round. I'm sorry if it came out rude in any way, I absolutely don't want to do you any harm!

  3. Have you read about high sensitivity? Do you connsider yourself a highly sensitiv person (HSP). It is a real thing, just google it. It has helped me alot to accept how I am. Maybe you could write a post on the topic, or share one article you like or something? Might be something for your readers. Just a suggestion :)

    Hope all is well! <3

    1. I just googled that, but not sure if that is something i have... haha ? Thank you anyway :)

  4. I totally agree with your mum - you need space and time to "breathe", to get over your illness and the body stress it has caused, as well as give yourself a break from the study stress you have had. Now is the time just to find your feet again, to enjoy your days doing things you enjoy. Slow down and live each day for what it is, don`t have the mindset of "i have to do", because you don`t!
    I`m not saying do nothing, because that will drive you crazy. Have a structure to your day, such as going for a walk, going shopping, going for coffee, doing some some baking etc but don`t heap yourself with pressure. Just take some time out for you, to relax. There is plenty of time for "the to do`s", they aren't going anywhere and right now is not the time for them.
    Hope you have a good week!

    1. Geting some structure to my life and not feeling like i have to do anything is exactly what i need in my life!! And after just a few days i am feeling alot less stressed when i am now allowing myself to just destress and rest more!

  5. ...and your other personal goals sound great. I`m not sure what your gym terms mean but I`m sure you will achieve them. If you are happiest working towards your gym goals and getting exercise then that has to be a good thing, because as you say it relaxs you. Just don`t work out too hard too soon! (but I know you won`t because you are very sensible when it comes to exercise) Ilook forward to hearing how you progress!
    Good luck on the job front, I hope you get something for the summer although I should imagine competition for summer jobs is as high there as it is here, all the students looking for work at the same time. I keep my fingers crossed for you and hope it all works out for you :)

    1. Thank you :) Always listening to my body when it comes to working out and food, but of course after an illness or injury it is important to get back into exercising slow and not go 100% just because i mentally think i can!!! It is definitely hard to get a job here in Sweden but i hope for the best!