For me my mum has always been my rock and the person there who has supported me and the only one who ever listened to me. She tried to help me as best she could while i was sick, however i was very manipulative so i did abuse the fact that she listened to me and wanted me to be happy when the only thing that made me happy was to do what my eating disorder told me to do. I think it is so outdated and old fashioned that doctors and people blame family for why a person develops an eating disorder, i mean in some cases it might be due to family problem. But for my mum she had to struggle with the fact that her daughter was starving herself, ready to jump infront of a train or die from a heart attack and at the same time being told that all of that was due to her and her raising me wrong... How awful is that?
But i want to remind you all that it is NOT your fault that you struggle with a mental illness. And i know at times you can feel like a burden to everyone around you, i mean i still struggle with that and feel like a burden to everyone around me. But you arent... if people cant deal with the fact that you are struggling then they will walk away and LET THEM. That is one of the best things i have learnt, is that during the tough times the people who truly care will still be there for you. The people who walk out of your life when you struggle arent people you want in your life anyway, no matter how tough it may be. And of course people also have a right to leave when things get tough, sometimes you need to be the one to do that, for example if a friendship or relationship starts getting toxic to your own health physically or mentally then sometimes you neeed to leave even if the other person is struggling, but you know that you cant help and that being in that situation is just making things worse for you, and that needs to be understandable for both sides.
But back to the actual topic. Nobody chooses a mental illness but you do have a choice to recover. Each day, each moment you have the choice to make a difference and make a change. You might not choose to be sick but each time you choose to hurt yourself, each time you choose to skip a meal or each time you choose to not take your medication or to workout despite knowing you shouldnt, then that is a choice which takes you further from recovery.
Dont blame yourself for being sick, but take YOUR power back to recover. You do have the power and strength to recovery, even if it is just tiny, baby steps... they make a difference, but you have to be willing to change as well.

Stop thinking about the past and the "what ifs", instead focus on the present and the future and what you can do now to make things better and to choose recovery, not your illness. Dont blame others and dont blame yourself, instead decide to make a difference and to get better and get your life and strength back!




Thank you so much for your blog and various topics, Izzy! Every time I feel like giving up, skipping a meal or just talk myself down, I read your blog instead! You give me such a good and positive boost and I truly believe you've helped me a lot during the past year! I started to read your blog when I was underweight grade 2 and super depressed. Now, almost a year later, I am at a normal weight and in a better place! However, I am far from fully recovered and I still have bad days and moments where I just hate my body and appearance, but I try to put them away and think of your history and how you managed to get out of it! So thank you again! You are a true inspiration <3
ReplyDeleteHi, also my therapist always tells my parents that they are not willing to make changes and that there's a problem in our family, when I really don't feel like it's true. Of course, the family members have their flaws but I'm used to that, and I never saw it as a particular problem, but whenever I try to explain this to my theraphist she is trying to make me believe that there must be a problem in our family. I don't feel like having an eating disorder is my fault, but I do feel like I'm the one who is to be blamed for that problem, as know the topic is always food and what I ate that day, and that's making my parents a bit mad, and I just feel it's so bad that my parents blame themselves... Though sometimes they don't realise that I've had problems in the past that lead to an eating disorder...
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