Life without Anorexia
My motto is 'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'
I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.
I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.
I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.
I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at: firstname.lastname@example.org
Friday, May 27, 2016
First term of university done and my first watermelon for the summer season!
I am going to start off this post by saying.... It is pretty cool how much life can change. Last night i could barely sleep, for numerous reasons but one of them was that i was thinking about how much my life has changed... and in such positive ways. It is pretty incredible, that just a few years ago i couldnt even do basic human things and i was pretty much waiting to die/slowly killing myself. And here i am now, finished my first term in college, moved away from home (even if its only been a few months and this weekend i move home again XD But just the fact that i have actually moved out from home and managed on my own is pretty amazing when i think about my past).
Times like this, when i think about how far i have come and how much i have achieved i begin to wonder why i would ever want to choose death over life? I mean life is pretty amazing, but it is all about mindset as well. What you think and how you react and what thoughts you let control you... because when i let my negative thoughts control me then i am one negative mess, but now when i am thinking positive then everything seems amazing and awesome, despite the rain pouring down outside which usually makes me feel low and negative.
Just think about how different life could be in a years time if you work towards your goals. There will be tough times... i mean i dont even know how many times in the past year i have been negative and wanted evreything to end, but then there are these positive times when life is worth it. When you realise how happy you are that you didnt give up when things got tough or when the negativity took over and told you that you would be better off dead - because that is not true!
A year passes quickly, but so much can happen in a year if you make changes!!!
And know that the stress you may feel now, it will be gone soon... it will pass. Try not to stress yourself too much or worry about things you cant change... of course it is easier said than done. I am basically stress, worry and anxiety in human form, hahaha, so i know its not easy to let go of the stress or worry. .But atleast remind yourself that it will pass, the stressful times will pass and life will feel easier again, and also remember that you are strong enough to get through the tough times and challenges, as long as you keep fighting!!
So, onto my day.... well i woke up with my throat double the size and no voice as well as a blocked nose and sore throat i.e i've gotten a cold/sickness, not fun at all when you have a presentation to do but have no voice. So i had to spend the morning drinking tea and bought myself throat lozenges and that helped me get my voice back so that i could complete the presentation!
At 12 i was finally done and walked out of the school building, not knowing how to feel.... I'm free.... not sure when i will study again, hopefully in autumn. I might be back to that building, i might not... But for now all i can do is wait and try to enjoy my summer!
As i dont have a bus ticket anymore (the last day was 2 days ago and well, i dont feel like buying a bus ticket for a whole month when i only have a few days left here) so it is walking everywhere for me. Though the town is so small that its not far to walk, and well.... it's the only form of exercise i have at the moment and havent worked out since last Wednesday and then it was barely a workout as i had so little energy. As i've caught a cold it will be a few more days of rest before i hopefully can return to working out again. Feels so strange to go this long without working out, but i know it would just do more harm than good as well as i havent had the energy for it the past few days anyway.... i have the rest of my life to workout which is what i remind myself! For now, might as well enjoy the rest and food extra much!!
Which brings me to.... my first watermelon for this summer season. 4kg of watermlon and 3 dark chocolate which were on sale as well as "vegan". What did i think of the chocolate? The mint one was good the other two, not so much. What did i think of the watermelon? I want more XDXD
Ive just finished with some cleaning in my room and tomorrow ill do more cleaning, packing and laundry, but for this evening it will just be series and rest and hopefully my throat wont be as sore tomorrow!!!
P.s look at the lunch i had yesterday... burgers, fries and brocolli! Yummmm