Life without Anorexia
My motto is 'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'
My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.
I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.
I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!
If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: email@example.com
Monday, May 16, 2016
Don't ask, don't tell - Depression
Recently i began thinking about how in my family there is a "dont ask, dont tell" type of thing. Hard to explain but i'll try my best...
Basically for example if i am very sad or very low, instead of asking me what is wrong or if anything has happened they just kind of avoid me or dont talk to me. Or in the past if they ever saw new self harm scars they would never mention it even if i knew that they had seen them, and wheen i was recovering from my eating disorder and i would cheat with my food and i knew they had seen what i had done they never said anything, just let me carry on.
This can be a good and a bad thing, i think the whole "dont ask, dont tell" thing with myself is because i have in a way - unintentionally - made it clear that i dont want anyone to ask. I dont want anyone to ask me what is wrong or if anything has happened, i just want to move on, so now they have leart to just not ask and let me deal with things on my own. But at the same time, there are certai times where i just wish someone would ask me what is wrong... instead of avoiding how i feel and pretending like nothing is wrong. Of course as i dont live at home anymore its not the same thing, but in the past it was like my family just avoided the topic despite it hanging heavy in the air. Its always been a bit like that in my family... its like you know what is going on but you dont talk about it.
Sometimes this is a good thing, because most of the time i dont want someone to ask, i dont want to talk and so its a nice thing that nobody brings it up but at other times i think its important to talk about what is going on in someones life. For example if my sister were to begin drinking every night or began smoking or such then its something you cant avoid and just "let slide" but something you would need to adress and talk about. Especially if a person is sick, because then asking for help is one of the hardest things and sometimes those "signs/behavious/symptoms" are also a cry for help because the person themselves dont want to ask for help and so just wish that someone else would bring it up and make them talk.
I think for many it is easier to just avoid the problem though.. if they dont ask they dont have to deal with the answer and can pretend that everything is ok.
What is your opinion on this? Do you want people to ask you how you are/what is wrong? Or do you prefer if they just avoid the topic and you can talk when you are ready?
I personally think it depends on the person and what the "problem" is. I mean one bad day and you dont need everyone asking you how you are, but a few weeks or months of showing signs of mood swings, irritability, anger or very sad then it might be time for people to ask/act. But on the other hand, it is also up to the person with the problems to be able to ask for help and not just think that everyone else will ask or help them, but the person struggling has to mustur the courage to ask for help for themselves and to talk about the problem and not just wait for everyone to ask.
This was just part of my morning thoughts and i thought i should share and see what YOUR opinion is on this or how it is for you and your family/friends/partner?