Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: lifewithoutanorexia@hotmail.com

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Friday, May 20, 2016

Do i enjoy my life/what i am doing in life?

Quetion: Sometimes when I read your posts I have the feeling that,of course yo have overcomed your eating disorder, but you are not facing other issues.
You are always writting about how ocuppied you are all day studying, but sometimes when reading I wonder how much are you enjoying the things you do.



To the person who wrote this comment i hope you dont mind that i answer you in a post, not because i think your comment is negative but because i havent realised that maybe i portray myself/my life in that way? And that is not how i want to portray myself, though i can't deny that 1) My life is far from exciting i.e its school, study, working out, eating, blogging, watching series and then when i have the time and motivation i travel back to Stockholm to meet my family and boyfriend. And then when I am in Stockholm i do the same things as i do while on my own, so not exactly a "Wow, so amazing, so exciting life". But the important thing is that i am ok with the life i have, at the moment this is how my life is and i am not mad about it. Sure certain things could change i.e it would be nice to have friends at the school i go to, or to feel more free economically (But i mean how many students really feel that way? haha) or just have more time and motivation to do more things, but that is not how it is right now and well, i have accepted it and am ok with it!

And 2) I havent been in the best place mentally so then it's hard to be positive and that might come across through my writing, but i am getting better, even if i have my ups and downs. I am feeling happier somedays and of course life isnt as bad as it sometimes seems and that is important to remember!

And 3) the quote: "I stress about stress before there is even stress to stress about" is 150% applied to me and relatable. I am awful at coping with stress, doesnt matter how many "stress coping techniques" and advice posts i post on here i cant seem to help myself, though i do blame it on genetics as my family arent so great at coping with stress! So when it comes to school and deadlines i am just continuously stressed and that of course adds to negative thoughts and feelings in my life, so i know that i need to work on my stress coping skills!

However even if stress affects me alot and very negatively i actually love what i am studying, though it's only one week left of this 5 month course and that does make me a little sad because i have no idea where i will be studying in Autumn or if i will even be studying at all. That adds stress and anxiety to my life as my autumn is so unclear. But i do love what i am studying however deadlines and tests i am not so great at coping with however i do need to learn that i have about 4 years left of those deadlines and tests to deal with so sooner or later i need to learn, and then when i am working there will be stress there as well, so it's not like the stress will go away but it is about how i learn to deal with it!

I feel like i am going off on a tangent now but what i wanted to say was that i do like my life and what i am studying, and i LOVE living on my own and being independant and love studying nutrition. Even if it seems like i study all day... which i do in a sense, i do other things in my life as well but rarely share them as it is nothing interesting or "share worthy".

Life is about making the best of the situation and how things are and that is what i am doing. Focusing on the small positives in life and finding back to my once very happy and positive person and outlook i had, and slowly but surely i want to find back to that person i was!!


If you ever have any questions or comments or want to ask me something just comment below :) I have yet to begin replying to emails but hopeully in 2 or 3 weeks time i should have time/energy/motivation for it :)

Hahahah... i dont even know what i was doing XD

2 comments:

  1. What are your plans for when your course finishes? Any luck with finding a summer job yet? The break from studying will be nice but on the other hand I expect you will feel rather at a loose end without it. It would be good to have something in place for when your course ends, even if its just to give structure and routine to your day.

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  2. Thanks for this post, I really appreciate your personal posts, particularly when you are being open and honest. I can really relate to the stress and anxiety problems you have. I was the same for most of my life. I hope you can eventually conquer that demon, because nothing steals joy from, life so much as anxiety :( keep collecting coping mechanisms, and more importantly, keep practicing them! I know they can feel useless (or they did for me, for a very very long time), but eventually you may hit a tipping point where it starts coming together, and then you have a full tool belt at your fingertips. One thing that has helped me a lot was learning the mantra of "just for today". Anxiety comes from living in the future, so learn how to live in today. This took me years to get, but I finally got it and it has done wonders. I think of my overall or longterm goal, but then scale it wayyyy back and figure out what I can do, just for today, that will get me a step closer. Today, I can tell someone I care about them (if eventually want a strong relationship with someone). Today, I can reach out to someone (if eventually I want friends). Today, I can do X amount of studying (if I want a good grade). Today, I can go to bed at ____ (if I want to eventually regulate my sleep pattern). Etc etc. These are just random examples, not necessarily my own. But the only thing we can control is what we do today, so that's all we need to worry about. Tomorrow you can do it again, but it's not here yet so let it go. Eventually, "todays" add up to something, but it's 24 hours at a time. Break it down even smaller if you are particularly overwhelmed one day. What can you do in the next hour, or the next ten minutes. That sort of thing.

    Anyway, sorry for leaving so many "advice" type comments on your blog, but I really believe that the experience of others can add up to wisdom for all, so if you've got something, share it. You do it with your blog, and maybe I can help with a comment here and there. And I'm especially excited about anxiety stuff, since I relatively recently finally conquered this one myself :). (I'm the one who left that incredibly long-winded comment series on spirituality a few weeks ago!)

    I wish you luck and healing, Izzy. Keep working on it - the only way to guarantee being stuck where you are is to do nothing. You, too, can heal from your anxiety problems. Take it a day at a time.

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