Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


Sunday, May 15, 2016

Binge foods - answer

I have the problem that I have often binges on different foods types. Does it really help to cut out this foods from your meal plan? In my case that would mean to cut out a lot. It would really limit my meal plan to mostly vegetables, grains and legumes. As food is not really the problem when you have an eating disorder and as it makes this types of food even more a fear food I thought it's better to include it here and there.

Well it depends on what type of binging you have and why you binge. If you binge on all types of food and its a regular thing and you cant control it. Then its binge eating disorder or you binge on all types of food due to restrictive eating and your body is so starved. When it comes to this, where you seem to binge on everything then cutting out food wont help because you will be left with only certain foods. But like you wrote, food isnt the problem here. Its something else. Either that you arent eating enough regularly. Or you are stressed, its due to emotions etc so then you need to find out why you binge and how you can solve that problem. And try distractive methods to stop the binging instead of just cutting out the food.

For me i binged because i wasnt eating enough during the day and eating next to no carbohydrates apart from in my binges. And my binge foods were very specific. I didnt just crave anything and its not like i ate some yoghurt and suddenly i ate the whole carton. But it was specific food like granola, bread, rice pudding, dried fruit. I could take a handful of nuts and be fine but if i ate like a tsp raisins it triggered something in my brain and i couldnt stop eating. It was the same with bread or granola. So for me, i had to cut those foods out because i couldnt eat them in a controlled manor. I even found myself standing by the kitchen pantry and eating granola right out of the box after a small breakfast one day and i couldnt stop myself, even when the voice in my head told me that i wasnt hungry and i didnt know why i was eating the granola. It was pretty much then i realised i had to get my binges under control.

I think you should definitely include the binge foods in your diet and try to learn to eat them in normal portions.
  However if its certain foods like crisps, salted nuts, cheeseburgers etc that you specifically crave then look and see if there is a certain vitamin or mineral in the food that you crave. As it might be the actual vitamin or mineral you want instead of the actual food. For example if you need more salt in your diet you can find yourself craving things like crisps, really salty sandwiches, salt sticks, salted pickles etc etc
   And if its things like chocolate, crisps, cakes etc that you cant eat without binging. Then buying them in mini packs or just eating them with others is a good way to find balance with them and eat them in normal amounts.

For some people they find that some foods they binge on so much and cant control themselves that they actually cant eat the food anymore. But i think its good to learn self control and to figure out what is it that makes you eat so much of a certain food. (Do remember though that things like crisps have added ingredients in them that MAKE you eat more, its an addictive substance that can make it hard to stop eating them once you begin.)

I hope this answers your question :)

Binging masterpost
Do you struggle with binge eating


  1. I think that cutting out entire foods or food groups is a dangerous game to play if one has suffered from an eating disorder. That said, when I was in the early stages of getting over binging, I did have to eliminate my "trigger foods" from my house for a time while I worked to address the root causes of why I binged. For me, these roots were: 1) undereating or trying to hyper-control my food intake (basically any kind of deprivation would eventually, inevitably lead to a binge), and 2) using food as a means to control my emotions (ie: stress, fear, self-loathing, inability to accept myself or a situation, etc). My trigger foods acted upon my habitual responses, and I simply did not know how to stop or cope. So, for a time, I eliminated these foods entirely. As I worked on the root causes, my need and impulse to binge began to lessen. They decreased in frequency. Once I had some successes in "normal" eating, I began to reintroduce my binge foods in a safe way, such as going out to eat it, having someone with me, and/or having an activity planned for directly after. For example, any and all desserts were triggers for me. When it was time to try them again, I would go to a coffee shop, with my boyfriend, to order a single serving, and then we would go for a walk after. Being with someone healthy also helps to normalize the food and exposes you to what a healthy or normal attitude/response is with that food. Sometimes this would work, and other times I would go home and binge. The key was to keep going, and to NOT COMPENSATE after. You need to break the cycle of binging. If you cannot stop the binging right away, then obviously the place to break the cycle is with the compensatory behaviour afterward. Don't do it. Keep eating, keep living your life. Eradicate the drama of the binge - instead of having it ruin your day, cause a session of self-berating and self-hate followed by dramatic vows of never again or making big changes to your plan - simply say, "well, that wasn't what I hoped for, but whatever. I slipped, no big deal. Life goes on, and I'll just pick myself back up and try to learn from this.". Teach and train yourself to get away from black and white thinking (a therapist, DBT, or CBT can help with this). Learn that a binge is just a binge. Woops. It didn't ruin your day, you don't have to "start tomorrow", you don't suck. When I used to binge, I allowed that binge to dictate the rest of my day and the next days as well. I would keep on binging the rest of the day, thinking tomorrow I would start again and be perfect. This was disastrous to my emotional and mental health and reinforced some really terrible habits. Anyway, after reintroducing my trigger foods in a safe way, I followed the same procedure. I worked on building up my success with this, continued to learn and address my underlying root issues, and slowly reintroduced those foods to my home. First in small amounts, like single portions, or my lesser trigger foods first. If I binged, I tried again. A major reason I was eventually successful was because I kept going. I kept bringing the food into my house even if I binged on it. I slowly learned that those foods were always going to be available to me, and I didn't need to eat it all RIGHT NOW because I could always have more tomorrow. Nothing was off-limits. This was a real turning point for me. (Continued in next comment)

  2. (Continued from previous)
    In the end, the most significant aspects of my recovery were stopping the compensations, and learning that those "bad" foods were not bad at all, and in fact were available to me whenever I want. The feast or famine mindset took a long time to reprogram. It was incredibly frustrating and frightening at times. But today, my home is full of the foods I enjoy, nothing is bad, and I can't even imagine or relate to the girl I once was who binged. It's weird, I can't even imagine why on earth someone would WANT to binge now, it is so counterintuitive to everything I think and feel today. I wouldn't understand it at all, if I had not been through it all myself. Which brings me to my last point: it IS possible to heal from a negative relationship with food. I literally never binge

  3. i binged on lettuce last nite and it upset me so so much - i was starving and didn't know what else to eat to stop the pain i was in but now i feel out of control. i just can't seem to stop this hunger and i don't know what to do. I'm gaining weight and i can't stand it as i feel too big

    1. I know you may be struggling but you have to realise that your body needs more than lettuce and that if you are so hungry that you would eat huge amounts of lettuce, then you most likely need more food than lettuce. Your body is telling you that you need more food, nutrients and energy and you need to give your body that food. You may be going through extreme hunger or just that you arent eating as much as you think you are. Forget about the scale, dont weigh yourself for a while just give your body the nutrients and energy it needs doesnt matter if you eat 2000 or 4000kcal in a day, eat and drink and try to talk to someone or write or cope with those feelings you have. .The extreme hunger and like you are never full will go away when you begin to listen to your body and actually eat even if it feels like you are eating loads or too much, you most probably arent.
      I do suggest proffessional care if you dont already have, or someone to talk to who can maybe help you personally? Stay strong and be stronger than your eating disorder, do the oppposite of what your eating disorder tells you to do. You arent too big, and you can eat more!

  4. I can't see the problem with eating a lot of one type of food when in recovery and the body is desperately in need of as much food as possible. It's scary to no longer feel in control, but so? The body wants food that are easy to digest in recovery, with easy assess sugar that can be used for healing. And if you have'nt eaten sweets for years then why not let your body enjoy it when you no longer restrict and want to recover? Both restricting types of food and amounts of food is the ED in control. It's ED against the body. It's up to us who we will care about.