Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: lifewithoutanorexia@hotmail.com

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Wednesday, May 11, 2016

A day of meal prepping, procrastinating and avoiding the sun

Hello :)

I had written a post this morning which was going to be posted this evening but it appears to have disapeared, but i guess its just as good... it was mostly just a long ramble of how i feel and thoughts. Maybe a good thing that it wasnt published, haha. But in all honesty, it wasnt a negative "my thoughts" post, thats a shocker. Infact it was about how i am feeling rather happy at the moment. I am feeling content and control of things - somewhat anyway. But i am choosing to be happy, choosing to be positive and making changes in my life that will help that. Distancing myself from social media, unfollowing accounts that give me no inspiration and instead following accounts that inspire me, unfriending people online who no longer serve a purpose in my life and people who i dont feel the need to be friends with anymore. Making positive changes in my life to positively change my thoughts and what i see everyday and so far it is working. I want to wake up with a positive mindset and that is what i am choosing to do. But also, i do believe that my food choices recently are actually making a difference in my mood... though i am not going to go into that until a few weeks time when i see if there is actually a difference or just a placebo/nocebo effect.

Anyway, onto my day. I set my alarm early this morning so that i could start my day early and i had somewhat of a plan today, but i didnt stick to that plan at all. Hahaha. Thats life and today has turned out good anyway.

It started off with a gym workout which wasnt the best... ive had some good workouts, some bad workouts... though if i'm honest i am not 100% motivated with strength training at the moment. Or well, i love the gym and love going there but i have sort of lost my "keep challenging and keep pushing myself" thoughts as i have had different pains in my shoulder, hip and knees so i've just held back alot and that makes me feel unmotivated. I've basically done too much walking with heavy bags so my body has been sort of "uneven" if that even makes sense. Hopefully in summer it will get better when i dont have to carry my computer, school books and gym wear everywhere as well as not have to travel back and forth and carry heavy bags on my shoulders.

After my gym session i wanted to go to the library to study but i was craving fresh bread with avocado like crazy so i decided instead to head home and make that and then go to the library later or study at home.... Instead, i got home and got to eat my cravings, and then i began to do meal prepping which took roughly 3 hours XD




Lentil soup, chickpeas (i was going to make falafels but my mixer didnt really work so instead i ended up making chickpea/date/peanut butter/chocolate balls which i put into the oven and tasted amazing, but i ate them all so no photo XD), potatoes, sweet potatoe, beet root and mushroom in the oven! Ive now put all of the food into food boxes and into the fridge and freezer and ready to be eaten :) At the moment lentil soup is my absaloute favourite... just cook up lentils, add some type of tomatoe sauce (i use with garlic flavour) and then add whatever else you like... my favourite is to just add sweet corn and then some bread on the side :) So easy and delicious (and not to mention, lots of protein in lentils!)



Then when the food was cooked and the kitchen completely clean i felt so tired that i had to just lie down and take an hours break, and then finally i sat down with my study notes. And now after just an hour of study - the day before my test, i feel like i know it. Of course i dont know it all, but i feel rather confident in my knowledge and i just want this test done with so that i can begin studying for my next assignments. It will feel so good to just have the test over with and to feel that pressure rise from my shoulders! I wonder how i should celebrate that my final test for this course is done (Hopefully, unless i have to do a retest...). Hmmmmm, not so sure how but i guess i will figure that out tomorrow!!

For now... i am going to try to motivate myself to go for a walk so that i get some fresh air and can distance myself from the stress and "need to study"!

I hope you have all had a great day  :) Do you have any positives from your day? :)


14 comments:

  1. ... can overeating without binging count as a positive :-) ? It's better than it once was, and I'm grateful for that....

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    1. Most people over eat and that's not a bad thing and if you just over eat instead of binge then yeah, it's a positive :) and it means that it was YOU in control I. E ypu could stop eating before it turned into a binge and that's a great thing :) :)

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  2. hi izzy,

    I've been having a bit of a rough time depression-wise recently and have almost been driven to do silly things. But today I decided to go home from college and try to make myself feel more positive instead of getting really bad again.

    Can I ask for some advice? This may be a silly question, but would you say grades or health is more important? I'm so scared I'm not going to get A*s yet I can't revise properly because my concentration is so awful. It's horrible because everyone at college seems to be able to just get on with it, and I'm so frustrated that I feel like this. I want to just be normal but I don't know what to do. Do you have any thoughts on this? It's just that I think I come across as being quite together and mentally well but really I'm in quite a lot of pain. And I came out of hospital like 2-3 months ago and I don't know if I'm still considered unwell. Too much to think about, but thank you for reading !

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    1. Health is far more important than grades, always. Because in the end, what does it matter that you have A#s on your tests if you have no life motivation anyway? What does it matter if you got top marks if you cant even get out of bed or apply for a job? Or what does it matter that you studied for 6 hours each day for a test but end up in hospital due to mental illness. Your health always comes first, and i can promise you... people arent as put together as they seem. I know it might seem easy for others or you wonder why everyone else can just study and cope with life and everything works, but often people have problems which you might not see. I mean some might look at you and think wow, how does she have such good grades and make it seem easy? I mean take myself for an example, most people who know me personally wonder how i have time for everything in my life and how i manage to get top grades... but the truth is that i have struggled as hell. Sure, studying is easy for me - not studying is the hard thing - but behind it all i have suffered from depression, anxiety and panic due to the stress of school, and sure i get good grades but i have learnt to also put my mental health first... to realise that i dont have to get top grades, i just have to pass or just do my best, even if that means failing. School isnt everything. You can redo tests or assignments, but you cant let your health or mental health slip.

      I do recommend you talk to someone and think about what is best for you right now? Can you cope with the stress and school or do you need a break. And it is NOT weakness to take a break from school or studies, it means that you know your priorities and what is best for you and that is something strong, because not many people have the courage to do so.

      If you arent coping with school, be honest with yourself and those around you. They will understand and you can get back into school and studying when you feel stronger or have better coping mechanisms for stress.

      College isnt easy, and it is alot of stress but that stress shouldnt ruin your life. Last year due to all the stress from high school and graduation i was very depressed and all the stress which i had tried to put to the side and avoid hit me hard and i had no life motivation at all and i can say... it wasnt worth it... all that stress just to try to get top grades? I mean for a while i didnt even want to live, so what did it matter with top grades. The important thing is your health and happiness, and if school is interfering or ruining that then maybe you need a break and can get back into studying when you can better cope with it?

      But know that you arent alone with how you are feeling, and that you CAN feel better. Dont stress yourself or make yourself feel bad, instead i recommend you talk to someone... family or a therapist or someone. It can be of great help to you :)

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    2. Izzy, thank you so much. This is exactly what I needed to hear. You're right; I think I just don't want to be left behind again. I've only got exams left and then I leave college, so I should probably carry on, it's just hard in the moment. But I'll try to talk to someone, thank you ❤️

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    3. I know its tough and can be stressful before exams, but all you have to do is get through them and do your best, even if "your best" doesnt always feel good enough, it is good enough. .Stay strong and remember to take time out for yourself and to take care of yourself physically and mentally. Talk to someone, do something fun and remember to relax... soon you will be done :) Stay strong!!

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  3. Sorry, if you don't want to tell, then no.. but I guess you are "converting to" a Vegan diet, aren't you? :)

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    1. Yeah i am trying a more plant based diet for a while and seeing if it will be a long term/lifetime change, but until i see how my body and mind feels following this type of eating then i dont want to write about it. But for now it feels amazing and no restriction or weird thoughts... the change isnt for appearance/weight reasons, but for different reasons including ethical reasons.. but i will write about it all when i feel the time is right and when my body has adapted so i can see whether the changes are positive or negative ones :)

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  4. Hi Izzy :) ! I was wondering, I'd really like make roasted potatoes in the oven, and would like to know how you prepare it, it looks so delicious 😍

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    1. I just chop the potatoes - what ever way i like i.e either slice thinly or make wedges and then add some oil and salt and into the oven :) You can make them without oil, but they taste better and are more crunchy if you add the oil. And i put them into the oven for roughly 20-25 minutes on 225 degrees... but the first time you make them you might wan to keep an eye on them so they dont burn :)

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    2. I'm gonna try it, thank you so much ;)

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  5. You probably know this already but nonetheless... can I just say Izzy, there are countless ways to eat a plant based diet so find one that works for you! :)

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    1. Dont worry i know, but thank you :) It is something i am going to try for a while and see if it is something i can make a longterm/life change, but seeing how my body and mind react, but also that this is the food i am craving at the moment so its not like i am eliminating anything that i want from my diet.

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    2. At a guess I would say if you are already craving those foods then that is the way to go for you - you seem to be very in tune with your body already so know whats right and wrong for you.
      Good luck with your dietry/ lifestyle changes - I hope it all works out for you

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