Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Tuesday, April 19, 2016

What we eat affects our mood and thoughts

I don't know whether it is just because of my past with an eating disorder or whether this is something others (i.e those who have never had an eating disorder) also experience, but i am thinking it is the latter.

But what/how i eat in a day can affect my mood and how i feel.... and i dont mean that food controls me, just that it can affect me, and i will explain below.

The days where i just snack all day or just sort of mindlessly eat with no structure those days i can end up feeling sort of unfocused and sluggish, unmotivated and no energy.... wheras the days where i eat every 3-5 hours and eat structured meals i feel more energetic more like "I got my life together". Just like the days where i dont eat enough i feel very hangry, tired, irritated, unmotivated.... whereas the days where i eat lots or eat lots of junk food where its just like chocolate after chocolate after chocolate, i can feel unstructured, unmotivated, tired, either constantly hungry (which is what makes me eat so frequently that day) or either constantly full but mentally hungry.

It's not that food controls me, because even though i have days where i eat lots or eat alot of junk food i dont feel guilty over it, i dont feel the need to burn extra calories and i dont worry about my "summer body" or gaining weight. It is just that it affects my mood and thoughts somewhat... though it might be the correlation that i already feel low and negative/tired and unmotivated and then i just eat super unstructured and continuously which then doesnt help how i was already feeling. Just like the days where i feel energetic, motivated and happy, those are the days when fueling my body with the right food and eating structured meals is alot easier (i.e i feel no need to have inbetween snacks or chocolate).

I do believe that what and how we eat affects our mood, how we think, how we behave and how we feel. Some people might be more affected, others less..... but what we eat does make a difference to our thoughts, energy, mood. So the best thing is to nourish your body correctly with the right foods.... and yes, chocolate, burgers, ice cream and crisps can also be a part of that and be "right", it is all about amounts and how often etc

I am only human and i have days i eat lots and days i eat less, days i eat double breakfast and days i eat no breakfast. Of course these are things i feel no need to write about here because it could be triggering but also it is unnecessary information. But i dont want it to seem like i always eat a certain way or just because i have food boxes doesnt mean that i dont eat 2 at once, or forget a lunch box and eat when i get at home instead or  decide to eat oatmeal and peanut butter for instead and eat a lunch box for breakfast. Hahahah...

I have no idea where i am going with this post i just thought i would write it out. Because yesterday was a day where i felt very tired and just very low and negative and then i had a very unstructured way of eating, lots of food (which my body definitely needed) and i just felt how instead of the food making me more energetic and happy, it made me feel more tired and less motivated as i wasnt eating the right nourishing foods. But ohh well, thats life. Today is a new day and i am feeling better, thought very very tired, but i guess ill have to just get more sleep this week.


  1. I appreciate this, and it is nice to hear "you"! Have a good day, Izzy. Thank you for writing and staying here.

  2. Its difficult to say which affects which - when you feel low and unmotivated you don`t feel like cooking a full blown proper meal, so you snack, and when you are happy and 100% you are more motivated to cook properly - and less inclined to snack.
    Of course snacking all day can add to the feeling of having no structure because of your mood as with eating 3 proper meals can add to your feelings of motivation because you have got structure.
    Personally I think its our mood that dictates our eating pattern, not the other way round - except of course if you eat a lot of high sugar food which in turn causes an energy spike and then fall where you feel tired and hungry, or you have lots of caffeine which can give you an initial buzz and then often anxiety.
    But this is an interesting topic.

    1. Exactly, I think it's like that as well... that our mood affects how and what we eat and then that in turn affects our mood even more.... its like a cycle and I guess when I'm feeling low and tired and such the best thing is to make a proper meal and not resort to unstructured meals which just makes me feel more tired and less motivated.

  3. I've often wondered which comes first, too, the mood or the food. I know a low mood will negatively impact my food choices, but I have also had "disorganized" eating slowly bring down what was otherwise a good day. I know I feel best, and most together, when my meals are more structured. Grazing just leaves my mind and body feeling somehow.... Confused, I guess. My motivation sinks the more I nibble and graze, as I just feel kind of out of control of my life. Control is a tricky word in this context, more loaded, due to the "EDs are about control" idea, but it's the best way I can describe the feeling, even though I no longer have an ED or use food for control. I simply don't feel on top of my life or my game when my food is all over the map. My boyfriend seems really unaffected by his food from day to day, so I do think my years of self-destruction have sort of honed my sensitivity to such things. I think women in general are more sensitive to these kind of daily variables. I don't have much to offer in the way of wisdom or useful advice on the topic, but I do think it's an interesting observation. And for me, it has become a tool in my belt for coping with mental health issues; when I feel myself sliding into negativity or depression, I make the effort to structure good, healthy meals, clean my space, regulate my sleep, etc. Whereas I used to use food obsession as a solution or distraction to my problems, I now am able to view it objectively and "use" food as just one more variable I can adjust to help myself feel my best.

    1. Oh exactly! It's like a cycle and I guess both affect each other in a way. But choosing to eat balanced and right despite mood is definitely the best choice!

  4. Do you eat quite a lot because of your CF or just because you work out and your body needs more? I dont know how much should i eat.. How did you find the suitable amount of food your body needs? I love your blog very much!!!

    1. Both I guess :) well it was about trusting my body and allowing myself to eat the amount I wanted whether that was 2 portions at dinner or a half portion. But also in time learning that Somedays I eat more and somedays I eat less and it doesn't have to be 6 meals each day... but it took alot of time to fully trust my body. But knowing how much I need to eat roughly (i.e that I do need alot of food to maintain my weight) made it easier to trust my body.