Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


Friday, April 8, 2016

Talking about sleep and university points

Good morning :)

It is Friday, I dont have any lectures today and i got 9 hours of sleep last night so i am feeling ready for the day!!  Sleep really does wonders for humor, outlook on life and how you feel. I am the type of person who still has energy even if i havent slept alot, so i will still get up and do all the things i need to but its not until i get the right amount of sleep that i realise just how different you can feel when your body and brain arent so tired. Its a different sort of energy... real energy and not just energy from caffeine or sugar kicks. And not to mention more positivity, after a night of good sleep i wake up and feel like i can really take on the world that no challenges are inviinicble and there is nothing holding me back. Compared to other days when it feels like i have the weight of the world on my shoulders and just having to leave the house feels like a mission, but today leaving the house soon and starting my day is exactly what i want to do.

So trying to sleep more and get enough hours (Ive realised that 7 or 9 hours is the perfect time for me to sleep... if i sleep 8 hours i wake up with a headache and just feeling strange, and of course anything less than 6 hours and it will just be a sort of tiredness and lack of focus throughout the day!). This actually reminds me, the day i moved apartment i.e a week ago, it was a chaotic day... i had barely slept, then i had to pack and all of that and fit in a workout before unpacking everything at the new apartment and throughout all of that there hadnt been enough time to sleep and i hadnt drank any caffeine.... and i felt completely "Out of it" and then when i had to leave to buy food and do some other stuff i was so unfocused that i just stepped out onto the road without even thinking and it was like everything went slow-mo and when i turned my head i saw the car coming and it was most probably a millisecond but it was a very frightening millisecond, but also how i realised how stupid i had just been... how the tiredness made me so unfocused and i couldnt think straight. Not to mention that when i finally sat on the bus i began to search my pockets for my keys and couldnt find them and began to take all the things out of my bag only to realise that i  had put my keys where i always put them, a pocket in my bag.... so there i sat with my things everywhere and looking crazy. And then while actually in the shop i just wondered around for 25 minutes as i couldnt remember what i needed and eventually just bought things i thought i needed/had gone to the store for and then when i got home realised i didnt even buy the things i had needed.

So.... that is tiredness and living on 3-4 hours of sleep for several days. Not so much fun and definitely nothing to strive after!!! Like i had written in a previous post a while ago, lack of sleep does increase the chance of injury and accidents because you arent so focused which was the case for me and i am just thankful that i didnt get hit or run over by the car, and it would have just been myself to blame as well.

Anyway... moving on. That was alot of writing about sleep XD

Today the plan is to study study study. I have a test tomorrow (or well, it is divided into 5 tests - maths, english, Swedish) and if i get good marks on it it might help me get into the program in autumn. But as i havent studied for these tests at all, only doing it today... i am not so sure how it will go tomorrow. But i can always try again in autumn as i know that i will most likely get into a course or program based on my grades from high school, but the dietician program has a very high acceptance score, and i am just below the required amount based on my grades... so i end up in the reserve list... but if i can increase my school on these tests then i have a much better chance of getting into the dietician program, so hopefully. Though i dont think it will go so well tomorrow as i havent had the energy or time to study for them.

Anyway, now it is time to start my day for real after this very long post!!

Longing for warmer days, runs by the water, fresh fruit and eating out 3 times a day as well as all the adventure and exploring!!!

1 comment:

  1. Have you contacted anyone at your school to talk to? They can help you both with your depression and sleeping problems. I think your school life will be easier and much more fun if you feel good in yourself first. Health always comes first :) I'm glad that you enjoy your studies!