I had a hospital admission for anorexia when i was 14 (and a few other for depression), I'm 18 now and my consultant is thinking about changing my diagnosis of anorexia to borderline personality disorder. That's just a bit of background.. anyway, i am hoping to apply for jobs soon as a healthcare worker, but my psychologist keeps saying that it's obvious from the way I look that I'm underweight and that the employers could assume things. But she also says that I'm always going to be a relatively low weight. Everything regarding eating is pretty much fine now - i don't ever restrict, do any behaviours and barely care about what i'm eating.. i just eat well to look after my body (i.e. my hair, skin etc) - with treats of course! Anyway, some of my friends and family say i look healthy/slim because i'm like 5'10 so naturally lanky. But today I went for a meeting at college and the woman i was speaking to (who didn't know i used to have an ed) was talking about a psychology uni course i'm interested in, and said "one of the modules is about eating disorders, but that may hit a bit too close to home for you maybe". Now i was quite shocked/confused. I also had a couple of people on a night out comment that i'm quite slim. I don't really see it/care about being slim, i just now feel mega self-conscious and worried that people think im still struggling with an ed. I just wanna get away from this ed... its not fair being well internally and people assuming otherwise! and i don't want this to impact my job. I don't really know what to do... because every time I gain weight, my body just wants to remain at the weight I am, and for once in my life I'm happy where I am/have been for a while now. Who do I listen to? Or do i just ignore everyone and go by my own instinct?
Thanks so much. I read your blog all the time, i especially love the ones you put about the thoughts you have. I know it may be difficult to be honest on your blog about them but they definitely make me feel less alone!
First off, its great to hear that you are doing better and seem to have found balance with food. Personally i find it very rude for those people to have commented about your appearance, especially if they dont know you. As i see it, the only comments which you should really "listen to" when it comes to being "too skinny" or "overweight" is family or doctor or true friends/partner... because everyone else, they dont really know you or your background. I mean it is just as rude to tell someone to "eat a cheeseburger" as it is to tell someone "that they are too big and should go for a run". If you know that you are healthy and your family and doctor know that you are healthy as well as blood tests and such being ok, then it shouldnt matter so much what others say or think. The important thing is that YOU are happy and healthy in your body. People often think that being skinny is the best but those who are very skinny can still get alot of negative comments and told that they are too skinny and can feel just as insecure in their bodies as someone who is overweight, but most people dont realise that. If you know yourself that you are healthy and happy then dont let other peoples comments bother you... unfortunatly there will always be people who comment on appearance. If you are happy within yourself and feel confident then it is easier to not let those comments get to you as much. And regarding jobs, legally they arent allowed to discriminate and not give you a job based on your appearance... if you have all the qualifications and are right for the job then you should get the job, and hopefully they realise that as well... though unfortunatly people can make up excuses as to why a person isnt qualified when in reality it is just discrimination based on appearance. But in all honesty, you are appearance shouldnt affect your chance of getting a job aslong as you have all the right qualifications and traits for the job.